WoW AW, will you come car shopping with me next time?

When my first child got married, I asked my older brother what I needed to know about weddings.

He said "All you need to know, is how to write out checks." How true his words have proved to be.

Keep Looking Cinderella, keep looking. You'll find it the right one.

CC, Keep helping, you are good at it.


SS

ok, I'm expecting to get $3500 for my 1998 Chevy Malibu that had 130,000 miles on it. I am not prepared to settle the medical yet. Orthopedist is not happy about my loss in flexibility and range of motion. Chiropractor is not happy. ENT says the numbness in my ear may be related to the wreck. That's that scoop.

My daughter is 17 and should get her learner's permit in the next couple of months. My son is 15 but won't get his until he shows more maturity.

Daughter's boss has a daughter who is selling her 1998 Taurus w/ 145,000 miles on it. Doesn't have some of the features I would want but it is a moderate sized car and they are asking around $2,500 for it. Pretty lateral compared to what I did have though it doesn't have a cassette or cd player or power locks. Gotta think about that. It would leave me money to do some house repairs.

May take it to the place that usually works on my car and see what they think.

Update:
my changing jobs is actually a blessing, I'm sure. I get a better position, a better office, no employees working for me so I am very happy. Tomorrow I meet my replacement and moving will probably be monday. I am happy.

All I learned in the year I was in my previous position is a lot of help for any job I have but I'm glad to leave it.

So yes, SS, God always looks out for me and it's all for my good.


notice there is no happy icon, only "grin"!!!!!!!!

When we move I WILL NOT live at the end of a dirt road, which, since we plan to live in the country, may be a neat trick to perform. Today Neaksis and I are cleaning down deep and now I'm having a special on dust. Anybody want to buy some?

t&l

Not me! Not never!!!

It's been a while since I checked in with y'all!

SS, how're you doing? If you're still in check writing mode, might as well go ahead and sign a blank one and send it to me!

T&L, no thanks on the dust; I have plenty of my own. Maybe, if you can find an image of Jesus or the Virgin Mary in it, you might could sell it for big bucks on Ebay. I heard that a couple of sisters got a couple of hundred for a frosted flake that looked like Jesus. Looks like some folks still have more money than sense!

CC, it's nice that you're glad of the job change. I hope you enjoy it!

Neak, glad the boys are home safe & sound!

Cinders, it's hard to find a good used car nowadays. The ideal car would be one like my moms, which is a 15 year old Crown Victoria in mint condidtion and which still has fewer than 25,000 actual miles on it. She doesn't drive, so we just use it to take her to the doctor, etc. when she needs to go. My brother makes sure that it goes to church every week and does the upkeep on it, so it's not just sitting there rusting. If you could find a car like hers, that would be perfect.

As for me...I've been in a creative mood lately, and getting back to my arts and crafts, and gettin interested in trash to treasure stuff. We have the annual pilgrimage here in our town the end of April, and I'm thinking that if I get enough of my artsy-fartsy stuff done, I might set up a booth and see how they sell. I have some plans that require $$$$$!

Amazin, you're a funny guy! I knew a lady who was lots of fun, and her daughter told me that when she was at the drugstore with her husband, she passed some rather noisy gas. :eek: She then loudly said, "Oh, honey! I'm so sorry you're still having THAT problem!"

I would never do anything like that!

I'm a professional not an amateur!

I wait until my wife is stuck in the checkout line with the buggy... then let a SBD go... Then quickly walk away... (SBD = Silent But Deadly)

I watch from a safe distance...


Of course she thinks the cashier did it... and the cashier thinks she did it... They stand there giving each other dirty looks while I’m watching and laughing from a safe distance...

My dad made the absolute best ham and bean soup. You know the kind...White northern beans with chunks of ham, onions, celery, peppercorns... and of course a big piece of sweet cornbread on the side. MMM....MMMMM........He said you have to soak the beans overnight or... add a teaspoon of baking soda when you boil the beans. The reason... to keep the after effects of bean soup to a minimum...

Why do I tell you this? Because it’s a great lead in to my next story...

When I was newly married to my first wife and my son was about 12 months old I decided to make bean soup. You guessed it... I skipped one very important step because I was in a hurry. So I’m sitting on the sofa watching a baseball game a couple of hours after a big bowl of bean soup...when the gas hits... so I let one rip... It’s an SBD (Silent But Deadly). With an extra special helping of DEADLY! The foulness wafts into the kitchen where my wife and son are... and I hear....”Come on son lets go change that diaper”... I watch as my wife walks past me with my son to change his diaper... After she disappears into the bedroom I get a huge grin on my face... I’m grinning like a [censored] eating briars... As soon as she reappears with the child I have a poker face like nothing’s happening. I watch her walk past and back into the kitchen.

About 10 minutes goes by and I let another SBD go... They’re getting worse... The odor wafts into the kitchen... and again she takes the baby into the bedroom to change his diaper.... Of course there’s nothing in it ...She reappears a couple of minutes later with this puzzled look on her face and walks back into the kitchen with the boy. I’m dying of laughter on the inside at this point...

So immediately I let another one go.... as soon as it hits her nostrils she walks into the living room and say’s “OMG is that you? That's terrible! I thought it was the baby! That is just gross.” At which point I can’t contain my laughter anymore.... She didn’t think it was too funny... But I sure did...

LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!

Welcome to the hygiene aisle, Amazin. We'll have to start stocking up on shavers and Grecian Formula for the men, at the rate we're going! One of my favorite stories about my mother, who, however proper she was when she was an old lady, was quite a pistol when she was little. I come by my genetics honestly...

She was born on a farm in 1913, so this would've happened before 1920--not necessarily an era in which bodily functions were quite so openly acknowledged. The hired hand was sitting in the kitchen, waiting for my grandmother--by then close to 50 years old and a very dignified woman--to finish fixing his supper. Their collie was sleeping in the middle of the kitchen floor and my grandma tripped over it, lost control of her sphincter, and passed what may or may not have been deadly, but certainly wasn't silent! She was humiliated, and immediately said, "Whoops, Lassie!" To which my mother promptly replied, "That didn't sound like Lassie to ME."

My mom's teacher once told her, "Marie, when you grow up, I hope you have a little girl JUST LIKE YOU." And she did. And did.

t&l

I completely missed Mopey and Amazin before! A major disadvantage of just clicking to the first unread post and not stinking, uh, thinking that perhaps someone else was looking at posts in the meantime and I might have missed a few. Or even quite a few.

Not just Grecian stuff, Mom. BEANO - lots of BEANO.

I think you should change your thread name while you still can, to "The Feminine Hygiene and Anti-Flatulence Products Aisle". And we should also sell corks! Sounds like a few people could use 'em!

Betcha THAT title would get a few reads, just out of curiosity, if nothing else!

t&l

Hi Neak !!

How are the boys?

Oh - and Hi T&L !!

Corks can also be used as Nasal 'Filters'.

Rella, I don't even want to know.

SS, the boys are doing fairly well. Coming straight from a house of pestilence as they did (BIL/SIL), it's not surprising that Mr. C felt a bit icky on the way home, and AJ has been sick for 3 days now. Though when I got up this morning he didn't have a fever, and even last night he was doing quite a bit better. Well, he has a wonderful nurse.

Mr. C looks like a slice of Wonder bread - such a pale little pastry boy. Not seeing the sun for a coupla months will do that to a fellow.

Grandpa was sick all night. I took him some soda at 0249, when AJ found him sitting in the bathroom feeling ill. When he gets up, I see I'm going to have to fix his bed, since he apparently vomited down the side of it.

Come to think of it, I want to register a complaint in the Sabbath-rest department. I don't feel that this Sabbath has been restful at all, and I want a refund! Shortly after sundown last night, the toilet overflowed all over the bathroom. The Dervish was the unfortunate soul who flushed, but his sister is the one who must have plugged it. So I got to spend quite a bit of my 'restful' evening sopping toilet water and re-sanitizing the floor. And now an emesis cleanup on aisle 5. I'm not even going to ask what next. :p

Waffles with strawberries and whipped cream for breakfast - that ought to perk things up a bit.

Well, I see by your title there's finally something in this store that I can buy. 29 years after "Mama was spayed," in the immortal words of young Neakbro, there weren't many products to interest me on a feminine hygiene aisle. Flatulence--now that I can use some help with! Ahem. I mean, I've heard that some unfortunate people have trouble with emissions of a personal nature, but personally, I consider it nothing but a particularly noxious rumor.

t&l

I have read that humans flatulate, on average, 14 times a day. Not that I have any personal experience with that.

Bloody 'ell!! where am I ?

There I was walkin innocently down an aisle lookin for the whiskey, 2 for $50 and I'm gonna need some for later today, and suddenly there's fartin going on all round me, crikey moses its almost like the public bar in the pub, except no beer.


and then theres all them fem hygeney additives, ther should be guards on the entrance to the aisle I tell you, those flippin wimin sent me down here deliberately, again!! where's that useless son in law to be of mine? He was supposed to be watchin!



wot an excuse!! Boss he says its only the bloody terros over there , you seriously expect me to get between you and Nana, mum and me new wife to be? you've got to be jokin!!!

I knew he was a wuzz, WUZZ mate thats wots you are, wuzz! No guts no glory ol son

However those 3 lookin at me look kinda pee'd, wimin hav no sense of humour at these times ya know? maybe I'll just go the odder way

SS them there wimim didn't want cheques , just CASH! I mean $350 for freakin shoes? They look like bloody thongs , feet ones Neaks! One dress , I could get a holiday to Thailand for wot it cost. and why in 'ell did I have give an opinion? I mean why can't I say its ok, its ok , ok? No you get you think I look fat! who said that? I tell ya they're wacko each one of em! and then boo hoo hoo, crikey!!

I want to go back to the desert!

Well, all I can say is that, in order to accomodate the Dervish, someone else somewhere else is putting in MUCH less than their full quota! It happens so often he is totally unaware of the occurence and will argue quite vigorously of his innocence when he's the ONLY POSSIBLE SOURCE!!

Aussie, my very dear sir!! Military flatulence--how exciting for us-weapons grade, even. Noisy AND deadly. What a combo. Better jettison yours before the wedding, or you'll find out that you just thought the womenfolks were giving you funny looks now!! Do not ever, EVER answer the question, "Do you think this makes me look fat?" Pretend that it makes them look so slender they have become completely invisible to you, and if you can pretend it has made them inaudible, too, so much the better! Then you disappear while you still can. Leave your wallet when you go.

t&l

P.S. I'm not really Neak, but I'm babysitting sick Grandpa so that the whole family can go to church together today for the first time in months; and since she and her hubby are leaving next week to do team driving for at least a month while I babysit kids AND Grandpa, it will be the last time for the next while, too. I played the piano for my Dad until he fell asleep; he hasn't thrown up yet either so things are going OK up to this point...hubba, hubba.

we dont have Military flatulence, its not SOP.

these women are still running around like headless chooks tl, I mean if its not ready now it wont be, but will they listen to logic? no bloody way.

So I'm sitting here all alone drinkin me Irish cause mr wuzz got sent to bed by my daughter lol man it was funny. She already has the LOOK! 'you've had enough and more of it' she said 'get to bed' 'Yes dear' hahahha funny. He got to sleep in the enclosed patio with the wedding stuff as she didn't trust him out at the barracks.

dont know why AW & her mum are lookin at me, I've said nuttin.