My dear folks,

It is 3:09pm/CST and I have NOT heard from the principal all day.

WOOT!

I called the boy at the after-school program & congratulated him. He's got 4 days next week in which I expect him to be on his BEST behavior, and on 3/22 I've lined up a butt-kickin' good time for him.

Thanks for reading. Where'd that edit button go??

Well, I guess the Edit button has gone away?

GREAT day at work today, 2 big orders came in & this is the last day of our pay period so it REALLY saved my butt!

H has DS this weekend/DD went along with them to basketball & then got dropped back off. She was considering going all weekend but has apparently decided against it.

H has been sweating me (via IM) to get him copies of our tax paperwork. He was really pushing for me to have it ready today but I had things to do so I pushed it off till Sunday, when he brings DS back. He sent DD in w/$200 cash for me. Hmmm...reading, reading, reading, reading into it...all I can come up with is H gave me $200.

I'd like some assistance in getting ready for my court date 4/1. I have to see H, it'll be the first time since January, and I want to keep my composure AND give the right "impression" or "message". Suggestions?

Good morning, folks.

Plan B works.

The darker, the better. My H is squirming & I am motivated. As you know we have court/temp hearing/LSA on 4/1 & it is safe to stay he is trying hard to get to me...to no avail!

Just wanted to share with you all what is, for me, a bit of inspiration this morning. Don't fear it, don't break it, stick to it & see the (positive) changes in yourself. Life is good. It can only get better!!

Good morning again. Had to come on & post this here, even if only to document for myself. I had a revelation of sorts.

I used to be really into my dreams. So much so that I had a notebook & "Dreamer's Dictionary" at my bedside. Now, I'm either too busy or too old/scatter-brained to keep track much. Anyway, last night I had a dream about H. That really hasn't happened much lately, maybe to my surprise, since he's left 3+ mos ago. Court is approaching so anxiety is high...when I let it be but I quickly supress that. A big work event is coming soon too (July) and while I haven't given it much thought, it is strange to imagine H not being there. Anyway, onto the dream:

H & I are back together. We're going to a work event of mine. We're in this big building, trying to find our way to the right floor/room where dinner is to be held. We're walking/talking with one other couple, and pass a few others on the way in the halls as we try to get there. We finally reach an elevator and it is then that I realize H is no longer walking beside me - he is riding on my shoulders! (I should inject some real-life here for my readers (HA!): H is 6'/3", I am 4'/11.5")

OK so he's riding on my shoulders, a lot of walking is taking place, we're still "with" the other couple who definitely notices H is on my shoulders but doesn't say anything or even look at us cross, H & I are enjoying one another & our "journey" to this dinner. Finally we arrive. People are standing around, having drinks, dinner has not yet begun, and one of the first people who notices us is my boss. She looks, smiles & surprised to see H with me she says, "Hi (H)!" happily, then looks kinda angry/confused, "What the (explitive) are you doing, get off her shoulders. Come down from there!" I remember thinking to myself, 'she sees me as the victim here, like H is trying to control or humiliate me, she's defending me but this is what we do - we're having fun, we're just playing.'

That's all I remember.

So I have no idea where my dream dictionary is & I don't really care, but how telling is this dream?? He's ON MY SHOULDERS!! He's almost double my weight! And even when someone who doesn't know me well (I've only worked there 8 mos) but knows my situation tries to defend ME, I'm still defending HIM, while he's OBVIOUSLY treating me poorly! I just think this is really cool. Thanks for reading, if you did. Have a great weekend!

Another way to look at this is that your husband has become a huge weight on your shoulders as opposed to walking along side you in your marriage. You not being too bothered by him being there could mean that you didn't mind carrying his load. You were just having fun (or so he wants you to believe). It took another person telling him to get off of you (intermediary role?). The other couple? Someone in your life that doesn't think it odd at all that you're carrying him around.

Just my amateur translation.

Julie,

Hi!! I have never posted to you before but want to know that you are an inspiration to me.

I have always been interested in dreams too. I think most of them are just random thoughts but the ones that we find interesting or hard to stop thinking about seem to be important.

In your dream, you are literally carrying the weight of "your world" on your shoulders. This is what you have been doing most or all of your married life. You are laughing and having a good time because this is "how you have always done it". Yet somehow, you know that it is not the way it should be because someone in authority over you in your dream rises to your defense.

I would guess that the building is a symbol of your mariage. Before you got married, you felt that you and H were walking side by side on the journey through life. You had to start carrying HIM when you got married .

Seems to me you had this dream because of anxiety over the upcoming court date and also because you are slowly coming to the realization that the way it has been has NOT been right even if you felt "comfortable" doing it.

I hope this rings true with you. I have always felt that if a dream interpretation rings true it IS and if not it ISN'T. It wasfun for me to think about your dream though. Thanks for sharing with us.

WH2LE

PM & WH2LE, I think you're both/we're all right. I am so thankful I had this dream! Right in time! Of course!

Now, I'd better get my butt in gear/dressed/out of the house/busy before H kills it all as he does sometime, unexpectedly, on the weekends.

I'm angry: it was pouring rain today & my kids usually walk to/from school. Last night my neighbor & IM & valued ally called me & said, "I'm going to pick the kids up tomorrow, it's going to be raining & they can't walk - what time does each get out?"



I'm happy: letter in the mail from mortgage company says they adjusted my escrow & my payment......went.......DOWN by almost $100/mo! Sa-weeeeeeeeet!



Spoke w/the power company too, and I'm not getting cut off. Whew! Good day...

Well, I bet you are prepared and ready for tomorrow. What kinds of things do you have on your list?

Hi Julie, trying to keep this on your main thread with all your history. And really, what a sucessful history you are making here. It's just amazing how you have stepped up and taken control of this situation. I really am impressed! I hope now and then you take a moment, look back and see the changes you have made for yourself and your family. I see so much strength and courage. I respect that about you.

I've been thinking about you and wondering if H is using this weekend to push any buttons. I also wondered what happened that night when he met IM at your house to take things. It sounded like things got a little heated or something.

I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts.

Let me know how you are doing.

Evening folks. DS is puking...and anybody who knows me for even a short time knows if there's anything I DON'T do, it's puke. Sigh

He was w/H this weekend. He came home this afternoon w/what looked to be heat rash on his cheeks. They'd gone to the park this morning & ventured into the woods. H told DS he must've gotten into poison ivy but that makes no sense since his hands are fine. It's probably just heat rash.

About 30 min ago he crashed hard - one of those headaches (that he's become famous for) that stopped him dead in his tracks. Gave him some Tylenol, he drank lots of water, off to bed.

Anyway I'm sure he'll be fine but I just don't do puke! H does! I'm tempted to have IM let H know DS is puking but that's just cuz I'm being selfish. He doesn't need to know, right? It's basically handled, as long as this doesn't carry over into tomorrow. I'm mostly feeling like HE did this, HE knows what happened today, and HE'S the one who does puke! But, not anymore, I guess...