Obviously a mess. . .


In fact she may well be pregnant. And she is lying her face off by any measure.

That note could come from several sources up to and including the affair partner. The danger here is an abortion to cover up. That female critter is not operating with all oars in the water, for sure.

29 Palms is a HUGE military base. They have a very high level of security in part because of scavengers trying to find shell casings and stuff to sell, including the signs that mark the property. So access by a PI is an issue. You could call a couple of the more obvious PI choices in the yellow pages for a feel of how they would go about an investigation. That wouldn't cost you a dime and you might learn something, at least more than you know now. You need facts more than suppositions right now.

For what it means to the OM, [color:#660000]click here [/color] Of course this just compounds the problems he is currently having with the law. He sounds like a jerk who doesn't "Get it." That would go with the concept a wayward picks a cretin.

I know you must feel a bit helpless. Yet at the same time, the evidence needed is probably not going to appear spontaneously even in the face of the anonymous email. So start the process of a PI hunt with a few phone calls. That way you will be operating from things you know rather than things you guess.

All the best.

Larry

WOF,

Do you know which unit these 3 losers are attached to? Your son needs to go to his chain of command with what he knows and they can get word back to 29 Palms. It should be dealt w/ quickly...especially since they're known idiots.

Who did you talk to on the base before?

To be honest, I think the whole PI thing on base is a non-starter. You're better off exposing what you know now, rather than waiting for "proof". Scaring off this loser now is more important.

L2F

RIF probably knows more about this situation than anyone. What is known is that the wife of a military person is likely committing adultery. What is also known is that her likely affairee is also a military person. I doubt that punitive action could or would be taken against her, but MIGHT be taken against her partner, especially when you consider his reputed current situation.

Here are two articles on the subject:

This one covers high ranking situations and how they were handled, but does have general information about military attitudes and how the military bureaucracy views things.

Click Here

This other one is a more detailed explanation, going into various aspects and again, covers military attitudes.

Click Here

If you think your spouse is cheating, they probably are. If your spouse is cheating, they will lie their faces off. In this situation, the husband is the one who has to be clear in his thoughts so he can protect himself. If she is pregnant, she is going to be doing everything she can to maintain her income stream until she has someplace to go. If he impregnated her, the OM cretin is going to be looking for every out he can find up to and including an attempt to get her to do a fast divorce or abortion.

This will not be the first time a deployed military person has faced this issue. This will not be the last. The military bureaucracy will handle it if husband goes to his chain of command. Exactly HOW they will handle it is subject to some lattitude on the part of the chain of command.

I can clearly relate to how confused and disoriented this guy is, it goes with the territory. Mom and Dad's support is very much needed. They are doing the right thing.

Larry

Interesting articles Larry, and mostly on the mark.

Here're some of my firsthand experiences w/ such cases in the military:

When I was a junior officer, my Executive Officer was relieved due to the appearance of an inappropriate relationship with a young enlisted sailor's wife.

Later, a fellow department head was s#itcanned in the fitness report 500 due to his obvious indiscretions...retired as an O-4.

As a Commanding Officer I had several cases of alleged adultery come before me, either through an NCIS investigation, word from the Ombudsmen, or after the BS of the member came forward.

In each case, even though article 134 charges were not brought (due to the extreme rules of evidence), I was able to make life so uncomfortable for the individual that the A was killed due to the adverse visibility.

After I left command, the next CO (my former XO) was relieved due to his inappropriate relationship with an enlisted member.

Months later, another CO was relieved for the mere appearance of such a relationship with a senior enlisted.

The reason I'm not so hot on the PI thing is twofold - 1, it's unlikely to happen on the base, and 2, I really don't think the goal here is to prosecute, rather to kill the environment that is allowing the alleged A to happen.

I guarantee you that if the CO of the unit responsible for these losers is made aware of the situation, he will take steps...with or without proof. A Commanding Officer has great latitude to deal with such issues, and in light of the nature of the negative impact on good order and discipline of such a "relationship" with a deployed servicemember, I'd imagine his justice would be swift and terrible.

The fact that these individuals are already spotlighted for poor behaviour will make his decision about who to believe that much easier.

WOF, I strongly urge you to get the names of these individuals and their unit and contact the base in order to get in touch with that unit's Commanding Officer. If that doesn't work, you will want to talk with the Executive Officer of the base. This can be a difficult process, so don't give up or accept a runaround. He may choose to do one of several things - he may take it on himself, or perhaps refer it to NCIS, who can and will investigate on base.

If you encounter resistance, mention that you are acting on the advice of a Navy Captain "friend of the family" (USMC Colonel equivalent).

Let me know if I can be of any further assistance with specifics.

L2F

edited to add...just as with the recommended method of exposure championed here, make sure that when you get in contact with the right person, you do NOT come across as a hysterical "nutcase", but rather a calm, rational and concerned parent. Ask for their assistance and suggestions...that'll put the ball in their court....

Good advice L2F. It is that the military is a bureaucracy and there are aggresive line officers and others who drag their feet and pass the buck. L2F has the culture down pat as I would expect him to. I was military also as an enlisted man so I have the drill from the bottom and L2F has the drill from the top.

Time is of the essence. Your son doesn't need to be thinking of all the garbage going on with his wife when the bullets are flying.

Larry

Well put, Larry!

Time is of the essence for your average run-of-the-mill affair (???) but when the BS is deployed, all guns must be brought to bear quickly and without hesitation. All the normally self-imposed obstacles to exposure you normally see must be bulldozed to expose the truth.

WOF, please get as much info as you can from your son and I'll try to get some POCs at 29 Palms.

RIF, you out there?

L2F

Larry, what service were you??

thank you, everyone. Even thought it sometimes takes me days to respond, I assure you I read every word.
Sometimes, what you say is a confirmation of what I all ready felt myself. It is good to know that I am on the right track.

If i didn't mention it earlier - my SS does not currently have his gun, and he is not allowed to go out with the rest of his group. they took his gun when his WW first told him she wnated a D. He has been there about a month now, basically doing nothing. Of course we are gald to think of him out of harms way - but still we hate to think that he is bored and feeling like he is letting his unit down.

no update this weekend. He did call once. Said that he still has not told her that he knows what is going on, but it is really starting to bother him. At one point he was talking to her, and he could tell the OM was right there in the room. He wanted to blow up at her right then, but decided not to.

He wants to do more than just break up the A. He would really like to see OM in jail, kicked out of the Marines, etc. That is why he wants the solid proof. I am not sure if the solid proof will come, before the [censored] hits the fan though.

I have not talked to the CO - but DS has talked to his Staff Sgt, so there are people who know what is happening.

I am praying for the truth to be revealed - which seems to be happening daily. And I pray that he will become stronger during this ugly ordeal.