Hi all,
I'm not married yet, and won't be until October. Everything is going just fine as of now, we're just beginning the wedding plans and our relationship is a healthy one. But lately I've been having these moments of complete panic about my decision to get married. Its so huge. I'll never get to have the excitement of a new relationship, or the kind of fun anxiety that goes along with that. I know I'll have so many more things to look forward to, but right now its scary.

Basically I just need to know if these are normal things to be thinking about. I don't know a lot of people my own age (24) who are married right now, and my parents have been married more than 35 years and they "don't remember" what it was like to be without each other.

I love him, I know we complement each other well, and everything is great. Its just in my head that its all screwed up sometimes.

Hi iii,

Are you worried that things will change in a bad way after you get married? Or do you feel that its too early in your life to get married? Try just writing your thoughts down, and you may find that it helps.

Best thing let him know what is going on with you otherwise something can and will go wrong making it impossible for marriage
remember the old saying cold feet

of course everyone has doubts it's how you solve it that will make the difference

iii... it's common to have fear about getting married.. but as long as the both of you tell each other how you feel about everything... you will be fine..

In marriage... things change the way each other change. Many couples think that once you get married and are no-longer dating each other, the excitment is over. it doesn't have to be that way.

I have been married to my wife for 8yrs.. we dated for only five months... and i agree, that is fasr...not enough time to get to know each other, but.. i was ready... i was tired of women playing games.. It took me to years to be with my wife.. i met her online.. we talked on and off on the phone, and at periods online.. she has a wild past.. that i'm working on to forget about.. but as long as the two of you have that strong committment to each other... there is nothing to fear.

just keep the excitment going once your married... but give each other some space as well... show each other, that you appreciate each other, just as you do now... let each other know how special you are to each other..

my wife and i have gone through alot of problems... but the chances she has given me... have proved to me that she indeed loves me. i tell her how beautiful she is from time ti time.. as a surprise.

my point is... don't be afraid of your committment to each other.. if you were not meant to be together. GOD would have separated the two of you already.

Hi iiinterstate!

If you truly feel that your head is screwed up, wait until you feel it's not before getting married. How you are is 50% of your marriage and thus a huge factor in success or failure.

I don't think it's unusual to have a moments where you might get cold feet (like right after an argument about a wedding detail ... LOL!), but if it is persistent, you shouldn't ignore it.

It does concern me that you are sad about not having the excitement of a new relationship and the fun that goes with it. When I got engaged I had had enough of the singles scene. Not in a bad way, but just in a way that it got old for me ... in a way, I'd out grown it the way I'd outgrown playing with dolls when I was a child or liking boy bands when I was a teen. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun dating and flirting when I was single But before getting married, I was ready to put that part of my life away. If you don't feel your ready yet, that's totally ok. I wasn't at 24 (and boy am I glad I didn't marry the bf I had at 24 ... LOL!), but maybe you are. Only you can know how you truly feel.

My 2nd wedding, to my current and faithful H, was poorly planned and was overshadowed by his brother's wedding a month earlier. I didn't have any second thoughts though. (I was about 38.)

The night before my exquisitely-planned wedding to my 1st H, I was having 2nd thoughts and my mom told me it wasn't too late to back out. (I was about 21.)

I didn't b/c after all, there were guests already in town, and gifts, and a caterer and cake and flowers and the church and the reception...

By the time of our 2nd anniversary he had moved out and was having an A with a bartender and doing drugs and leaving his college program. Going through a D was more difficult and more embarrassing than canceling the caterer, returning the gifts and sending the guests home.

For you, it is not yet the night before the wedding.