I will take this success and own it b/c this is G-d working in my life.

But have no doubt, this is also YOUR and EVERYONE ELSE's SUCCESS too. It's cool isn't it.

Queenie that was beautiful...I am sitting at work doing the late shift till 10 pm and I am crying!!!Thank goodness I'm on my own!

My DS15 is angry with me and went to his dad today till tuesday or maybe forever...his words..
I think I must write him a letter too as he doesn't listen....
You are such a wonderful soul your kids will ALWAYS be proud of you..
WH's will never understand the hurt and turmoil they have caused even if they do come back...thats what saddens me the most...
We will make it through this....

Hope you didn't miss my AMEN to the PRINCESS post!!

This part isn't true, HOPE...

Just today, my H expressed UTTER REGRET with some teariness as Father's Day approaches...

Mimi's right. They do get it once they've come home for real. There are still moments that come up that cause my dear husband to remember and regret, four years later.

For the first time I don't care what WH does or doesn't do. That's his deal.

I'm just going to heal this family and create a home for him to come back to that will support him if he ever decides we are worthy enough.

My WH is in G-ds hands, there is nothing I can do for him. But my babies need me and just as they are in G-ds hands as well, I can serve G-d by helping them to grow and heal.

Right on, Queenie! Beautifully executed! I'm not even surprised by this development; YOU have finally let go. You get it now. You have to be the best Queenie you can, and that is it. What a loving letter. I am just bubbling over with glee for you.

New doors are opening, I can hear it.

I want to share this with you... which you may have already noticed.

My "boys", striving to be MEN, express ANGER when they are HURTING the MOST. One of my son's even said to me: "You're trying to PUNK me out and make me CRY"...while I was trying to hold him back from beating ANOTHER hole in the wall with his fist..that was during the whole AFFAIR mess...YUCK...

I don't know the reason why..can't explain it...

But BEEN THERE DONE THAT...

(((((Queenie)))))

{{{{{{{Queenie}}}}}}}}

That was a beautiful letter. You are such a wonderful mummy. I wish I could really hug you.
I'll give you another reason to continue being strong, just like your babies need you, the newbies like myself need you as well. We need you to guide us through these times, and I can see no better teacher than yourself.

Mimi,

Do you think I should have handled this differently. I'm not necessarily opposed to them killing each other, just not in my home.

Seriously, I realize they need to express these feelings and one way to is take it out on themselves.

{{{{{{{{{{Brown}}}}}}}}}}

I really appreciate what you just said. That means a lot to me. It makes me feel useful to be helpful and be there for people who have to go through this.

I think you handled it WONDERFULLY!!

I'm AWESTRUCK and AMAZED by YOU!!

((((Queenie))))

I can relate so much with what they are going through. As far as I'm concerned you did the right thing by taking control over the issue and letting them know you are there for them.

You know my story and know what holding on to the anger can do.

You are the GODDESS QUEEN!!!!

SL, thank you. That means a lot to me what you said and I agree.

TMTS,

Can you help me understand what is happening over with them and is there something else I can do to support them?

Oh Queenie!

I am sitting here struggling to find the words to match the feelings after reading one of the most beautiful, awe-inspiring letters I have ever read in my entire life. I had to stop to go for tissues so I could see to type this post!

I'm rarely at a loss for words! What more can I say that hasn't been said?

I am in awe of you, my friend!

I don't think there is a single thing that you could have done better.

Outstanding!!

Give yourself a great big hug from Bugs!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{QUEENIE}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

No M'am, I certainly didn't. {{{{{MIMI}}}}}

Bugs,

Thank you for what you wrote. I'm so honored to know you and watch you. You are one of my heros and this day is also your success. I read and read how you were growing, changing and moving on.

I didn't think I could do it, but I did see you and others. I know it just takes time and that's the part I would like to speed up.

Today, well today is a good day and I am grateful to G-d.

Wow Mark,

I think you were telling the future of what was to happen in these 24 hours. I hope that what I have walked through last night and today puts my heart in a place of letting him go truly.

PLEASE - DON'T EVER STOP YOUR WORDS COMING OR SHORTENING THEM.... I learn so much from you.

SD, Thanks SD, I actually have that book and read it, not as often as I should. Ah, Bramble, I miss her lots. I hope she is ok and knows that her help is still reaching out to people and we miss her. She was one of the first people who spoke to me EARLY on....

Ah, BR. Yes, she has helped many. Being ACOA and living with PWC while alcohol seemed to rule him, her advice was very timely, to say the least.

There were days when I wanted to HURT PWC so badly, because he was finding NEW WAYS to abandon me, via the alcohol. I read and attended meetings and began to get centered. Unfortunately, I found that my threshhold for Bullshite was getting lower and lower, and the bar was raising up. PWC was not ready to meet that standard, and I was unwilling to live with him as he was. I loved him, but knew that completely letting go and separating was best for me.

I also learned to separate myself from his problems. *I* was not the real problem, but I blamed myself for so much of what were his problems.

I think I'm going to pick up my copy of "The Language of Letting go" and give a couple days a read, just to pep me up.

You have left the safety of the plateau now, Queenie. Buckle up!

Where do we learn this from, but most importantly what a lesson to learn to stop doing. Our personal recovery depends on this and so much else, doesn't it.

Now if my weight would follow suit.

Seriously.... I HATE rollercoasters. BUT I LOVE to FLY.

Your parents were alcoholics.. Mine too. Another thing in common.