Queenie,

Just wanted to let let you know I was around today, reading but unable to post.

Your letter to your kids was marvelous.

GREAT JOB!

Mark

Thank you Mark,

Somehow I feel safer knowing you are around. Thank you.

Kinda of G-d like how close you were to your writings yesterday and didn't even know it. G-d certainly was working in me and giving me something to concentrate that is more important to support isn't it.

Sometimes I think I am just plain stupid to have FAITH in my H and that one day he will come home. NO ONE but G-d knows what is happening.

But today my kids need me and I need to know that I built them the very best life I could with G-d's love and help.

ARe you getting excited for the weekend and time with that awesome grandchild of yours?

Mimi....what about a few sessions of family counseling? For you and your kids - even if they are 'big uns'.

FOR WHAT????

That was YEARS ago, Cinders...

They're ALL really doing GREAT now..

BOYS TO MEN...typical, normal MACHO, "I'm COOL" stuff...

I told ya to think P DIDDY..Puffy..Sean Coombs...whatever his name is today..LOL..

They have FLOWN THE COOP..leading their own lives..cruisin' with the "chicks"..LOL...

Cinders, I put the signs up at work. Not at home yet, though....

Oh, my!!! I am the MISTAKE GODDESS!!!!



CORRECTION!!!

CORRECTION!!!

CORRECTION!!!


Queenie, what about a few sessions of family counseling? For you and your kids - even if they are 'big uns'.

Cinders:

You have made a MISTAKE but you're definitely NOT the MISTAKE GODDESS..PRINCESS SEQUOIA, you are!!

I don't know where EXACTLY I learned it from, but I always remember a latent feeling of guilt when people weren't happy, hence my need to fix it, and be the bright spot in their life all the time, entertaining them until they feel better, meanwhile not getting what I need from those relationships.

As I got older, this happy marionette thing began to wane and I noticed people not being so happy about that. It was easier to do as a child, I could give and give and give, because even a smile made it all worth it. As my life became more challenging, it became more difficult to keep up.

I'm all for helping a sister or brother when they are down, but not at my own expense. How can I be good for anyone if I never get what I need? It's a good lesson to learn, but very difficult to stop old habits. Those habits were things OTHERS were accustomed to, and sometimes requires changing relationships. Some people just don't respond well.

My brother and step dad are alcoholics. My sister, possibly. Me, NO. My mother is deceased, but I could see her USING alcohol for relief from the daily stressors of life.

I tend to drink socially and only when I really wanna. I never crave it. I suppose I should consider myself lucky, I seemed to have dodged that bullet (for now). I keep an eye on myself, but I don't have a compulsion to drink.

now, shopping, that's another story ...

Hi Queenie,


...and to do THAT, Queenie will be taking care of Queenie... because LIFE is a marathon... not a sprint!

Take care, my friend.

Your kids are blessed to have you as a mom.

((((((((((((((((((((QUEENIE))))))))))))))))

Queenie,

Just wanted to stop by before I head out to our cottage for the weekend. If I can get the laptop card to work there, I might be a round a bit, but I do have plans to do some fishing with my granddaughter, so it won't be much.

Shabbat Shalom, Queenie!

Mark

Good Shabbas Sir,

how's the fishing?

Ok, here's the deal. I'm just going to put it out there and be done with it because I am practicing total honesty.

I had a guy email me for a date, so I went to meet him for coffee. We actually had a nice time except all he wanted to do was get me into bed. Now on the one hand it was really nice to be wanted, but it truly disgusted me and I just kept praying to G-d.

So I go to my Alanon meeting, worked on the 6th step, and then AA meeting. Where that guy who I have talked about before showed an interest in me, was the chair and chose the topic, what was your life before you came in the rooms and what is it like today.

He called on me and I felt like G-d dipped inside and took me on a ride of reality for how long and how hard I have worked on building back my life and self-respect.

I NEVER EVER thought I would be appealing to anyone else. But I have experienced two times where that isn't true. But even though it's nice, it's not what I want.

I want my H. And gratefully with G-d's love and working in my life, I will keep moving forward on the path he has designed for me and continue to become the respectable, loving and good miracle he created.

Today I walked in the town parade for the first time. My feet were tired in the end, but it was really cool knowing so many people and saying hi along the way.

Off to a graduation party with my OS who came home last night, finally.

Fishing is fine. Yard work took up most of the day and my wife and granddaughter aren't here yet.

Mark

Where are they?

They are on their way. There was an early impromptu b-day party for our niece who is visiting from Florida with her two kids. She is my wife's twin sister's oldest and lived with us during her Jr High and High School years. For years she called me "Dad" and my wife "Mom."

They should be here soon. Our fishing trip together was actually planned for tomorrow anyway, so the fact that they are later than planned only means I ate supper alone and didn't have to cook as much or wash so many dishes.

Mark

I hope you are having a magnificent time with them. Happy Father's Day to you my friend. May it be the best ever.

Well, my good luck ran out today. While driving to the graduation party and Black Diamond cop stopped me for expired plates. I told him that my H wasn't giving me any money. He wrote me up, but explained how I could mitigate it. I was grateful and will take care of it.

Luckily I know the judge and he actually is a nice person. I will bring the court papers that are showing WW is witholding money and hopefully it will work out.

This may actually be a blessing in disguise for you, especially if you know the judge...

He may be able to tell you something that will help the situation...

Sorry that it's happening...

Hugs to you...

(First time I'm had something to say! LOL)

I doubt it. He isn't like that. He can be very understanding, but he goes by the letter of the law. And where I have to appear is small town, where legal stuff with WW is in big town.

You just never know......take the papers. See what happens. Be open to possibilities.

LOL.... I actually mentioned that to my friend. I need to bring the papers with me.

I didn't realize I was closing myself off to opportunties.

Hi Cinder, how are you?