So after 14 years and two children later, my husband is having an affair (i know shocking). I was able to tap into his e-mail (stupid man) and figure out his password (my son's name) again, stupid man, and read every single e-mail from him and to him.
This has been ongoing for about 6 months, longer than I thought and now i know why he hasn't been willing to work it out.
So i guess i have no choice, because i will never take him back, not that he would come back why would he, to go talk to an attorney.
mind you, he is 40 something and she is a meer child at 20. Disgusting!
What more can possible happen to me at this point. My poor kids!

I confronted him that I have been suspicious and now I know for sure that I have proof and even so much as started to read some of the e-mails to him, and he still denied it.
He is out of the house, staying who knows where, probably with her.

I feel helpless. Thank god for my family.

(((Imagoodperson)))

So sorry about what you are going through. You have found a great site to work these issues though.

There are many here that have been through the same thing that you are experiencing and believe it or not, your M still has a possibility of being saved and even thriving if that is the choice that you make.

Remember that your WH is speaking what we call FOG speak and that this A he has with the 20 year old "child" is just an addiction.

Purchase Surviving An Affair and read up on the posts that are "locked" as the 1st few on this thread.

Let us know which direction you would like to go. You will find great support here.

(((Imagoodperson)))

Sorry for your D-day...

Now what have you done to protect yourself?

Money: Remove what you need from joint accounts. Protect investments, etc..

Well this is all very fresh for me, like a few days. I have never been in this position nor do i know many people who have been in this situation.
I have to contact an attorney to get some advise.
As for him, I don't see any reconciliation. Too much damage done. But that's my anger talking. I can't for see the future.
I can't look at him, talk to him. I just want to spit on him. It's horrible. And I have to put on the happy face in front of the kids when he comes here to see them.

Catperson,

nothing came thru. blank message.

I also want to add that my H has yet to even admit or acknowledge the situation. He comes and goes and doesn't even so much as say hi to me. I guess because now that I know everything he is ashamed to even look at me. I could be wrong. He's not even man enough to fess up and at least discuss it.

Oh, I was just giving you a hug.

IAMGP,

Sorry for what you are going thru. Can you provide a little more info. What has you Marriage been like before the A? You WH sounds like mid-life crises. How many childen? How old? What do you know about OW? Where she works? How did they meet?

Is your marriage before the affair worth saving?

Merlin2

oh, thanks catperson!

We have a good life. good marriage, great kids, a house. it's all good. well at least i thought, but apparently not for him.
I have 2 children, 10 & 8. the other woman(child) is 20 and works in his office. they met when she first started working there. i don't really know much more. apparently our marriage didn't have a leg to stand on if he allowed this to happen.
In their e-mails, they sound like two kids chatting back n forth. ex: miss u, miss u more she replies, just childish stuff. It's hard to believe a 40yr old man acting this way. But I guess once the penis is in charge, nothing else is logical.
Is it worth salvaging? I thought so, but I have done all I can to try to get him to come home. I have read everything on here and have tried basically everything and it has fallen on def ears.
I am exposing his affair slowly to family, his & mine. They are just as devastated as I am.

You need to find out her parents' names/numbers and call them.

I was just thinking about that just yesterday and I will absolutely! Thanks

Thanks for the additional info. I will first recommend you move your thread over to the GQ II board. There are many more experienced people there that can give you some great advice. MelodayLane is one that will be of great help in this situation.

My FWW and her OM both turned 40 before the A. You may want to do a google search on mid-life crises. It can offer some real insight to you. Go ahead and post your story in GQII and I will try to share some of my experience. I don’t post that often because of my work but there are many on the board that will walk you step by step. It gets a little slow over the week-end so you may not get much help until Monday. Once I see you post in GQII I will direct MelodayLane to your post.

Many of us have been in your very shoes and understand the pain and shock you are going thru. There are no guarantees, but I believe there is an excellent chance for you to save your marriage.

Merlin2

i just posted it, i hope i put it in the right area, lol

I didnt see it come up. If you click on the Infidelity link above it will take you to a list. The General Questions II link will be about the forth item down. If you still have problems you can ask one of the moderators to help.

Merlin2

i did post it in the wrong place.

Found it, thank you!