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Does anyone know of any resources available for emotionally/physically abusive relationships?
He has left so I am physically safe right now, I'm just not sure where to go from here.
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Does anyone know of any resources available for emotionally/physically abusive relationships?
He has left so I am physically safe right now, I'm just not sure where to go from here. There are many people on this forum with experience in dealing with abusive situations. I am not one of them, but I think one of the first steps is to get yourself somewhere safe where he can't find you. Do you have friends or family in the area that you can stay with?
ex-WW had 2 PAs in first 2 years. Buh-bye.
Divorce finalized: 1/28/09
Now just living and loving again.
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I am physically safe right now. He is gone and I talked to the police before he left and they have been apprised of the situation and told me to call again if I need to.
I need help finding resources to get a divorce. I can stay in this house for the time being, but he wants me to move out within a week. I can't afford an attorney and I'm not sure what to do.
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If you have one in your area check out the Women's Shelter they can help guide you to maybe a lawyer or something of that nature.
Married 1996 4 wonderful children 16, 13 *OC*, 10, 7 FWW 30's FWH 30's My dday 1-2007 he came clean to me My story New beginings
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Frozen,
Change your thread title and put a shout-out to MEDC. He has loads of knowledge in this area.....
I'll be praying for ya honey....hang tight...
not2fun
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I'm sad for you both but not surprised.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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A visit to your local prosecutor might be a good start. Find out what law(s) are being violated during typical incidents of physical abuse, what the legal consequences are, and the best way to report incidents of abuse in the future.
Inform your abuser in a clear manner which abusive behavior(s) you will no longer tolerate and what you will do if it happens from this point on.
Then keep your word.
You cannot "make" him stop being physically abusive but you can set and enforce boundaries that protect yourself from harm instead of protecting him from the consequences of his actions.
Take care
ETA: Look in the phone book for attorneys and start interviewing them (first visit is usually free). Ask if it's likely that he will have to pay your lawyer's fees and then go from there.
Last edited by LovingBoundaries; 07/31/08 10:32 PM.
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You cannot "make" him stop being physically abusive but you can set and enforce boundaries that protect yourself from harm instead of protecting him from the consequences of his actions. To my knowledge her husband has never been physically abusive.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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I'm not sure why you're sad for him, BK.
LB, will they think I'm crazy if I tell them that he raped me and how do you define marital rape?
He is very good at convincing people that I'm crazy.
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BK, you are VERY mistaken.
I need help badly right now. If you aren't able to help me, please refrain from posting to me.
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I might have misinterpreted it, BK. I thought that since she was asking for resources for both emotional and physical abuse that the physical abuse had already been occurring. It might not...yet.
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LB, will they think I'm crazy if I tell them that he raped me and how do you define marital rape? Yes there is such a thing. I don't know what they will think but if you're not crazy then you don't have anything to worry about, right? Do you know what crazy means? It means psychotic. It doesn't mean what he says it means when he calls you crazy. ETA: You can call a rape crisis line and see if they can help you with this. You can get help from a rape crisis center even if you don't report the crime. Do you need help finding a phone number for one?
Last edited by LovingBoundaries; 07/31/08 10:42 PM.
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I'm not sure why you're sad for him, BK.
LB, will they think I'm crazy if I tell them that he raped me and how do you define marital rape?
He is very good at convincing people that I'm crazy. Frozen, Has this happened all tonight???? Marital rape is the same as rape, only you are married to your assailant. If you didn't not want to have sex and you said "NO" very CLEARLY, then that is rape..... And you should inform the police and go to the hospital ASAP.... not2fun
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I might have misinterpreted it, BK. I thought that since she was asking for resources for both emotional and physical abuse that the physical abuse had already been occurring. It might not...yet. I'm sure that is what she wanted you to think.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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It did not happen tonight. It happened about a month ago. He said that he was just being inconsiderate and that he has a problem with calling it rape.
I take Ambien to sleep and I was passed out. It happened once a few months before that and when I woke up I talked to him about it and told him that it really creeped me out. He said he was sorry and that he thought I was awake. I don't think that was true.
It happened again and he again said he thought I was awake. He later admitted that he knew that I wasn't awake and that he didn't care because he wanted sex.
He has been physically abusive. The last time it happened, also about a month ago, my son (18) took me somewhere for the night to keep me safe.
My husband is gone now and I can make sure that I am physically safe. I need help figuring out what to do now.
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I am not crazy and I have absolutely no reason to lie.
***edit***
Last edited by Maverick_mb; 07/31/08 11:09 PM. Reason: personal attack
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It did not happen tonight. It happened about a month ago. He said that he was just being inconsiderate and that he has a problem with calling it rape. That's why you need to talk to your local prosecutor. Get the facts, including what is required of you before and after reporting it. You can then decide if you will report it in the future or not. He has been physically abusive. The last time it happened, also about a month ago, my son (18) took me somewhere for the night to keep me safe. Again, talk to your local prosecutor to find out what they prosecute and what they don't. The reason that I am suggesting this is because a lot of times abuse victims don't want their perpetrator to "get into trouble".....they just want it to stop and to be safe. Getting accurate information takes away the scary unknown....and makes it easier for you to make good decisions.
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Coming here was a mistake.
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Coming here was a mistake. No it wasn't! That's victim talk, frozen. Tonight you can begin to identify it and stop it so that you can effectively deal with the issues at hand. Do you want to do that?
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frozen, are you still here?
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