What am I supposed to do??? I have no where else to turn but to this site!! He just cheated again and admitted to having an STD when we were just trying to work this marriage out!!!

He just told me like 40 minutes ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what on earth to do!! We moved to Texas a year ago. I can't tell anyone!! He has no where to go!! I am still getting over the last extramarital affair from 5 years ago.

I am shaking!!!! I need him to stay cuz we just bought a house like 3 months ago, and I cannot afford this house and the bills without him!!!!

I am 29 and he is 30. We have been married for 7 years and have been together for a total of 15. We have two small children.

I AM SICK!!!

I can't do it anymore!!! But I can't afford this without him!!!!

PLEASE PLEASE RESPOND ASAP I NEED SOME SERIOUS HELP!!!! I can't turn to my family and friends about this one!!!

speak to a lawyer immediately. I understand your fears but do not let those fears keep you anchored to such a problem "man." You will be SHOCKED at what a judge could slap him with in terms of spousal/child support.

Get the facts before making any decisions.

Problem is I make more then him and always had!!! He's got nothing but what I have!!!

I am sooo desperate.....

What part of Texas are you in? If you are in the Harris County and surrounding county area I can recommend the best attorney you could ever hope to have.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Did you make an appointment to get tested? How COULD he let you go on this long without telling you??!! Geez!!



Charlotte

Not sure where Harris county is. I just found out, I am going to get checked out ASAP. He told me like an hour ago. He said that it just happened a lil while ago, but I'm sure that's a lie.

Houston. Yeah, your're probably right about that. Again, I am SO sorry to hear this happened to you! It's just awful!

Charlotte

So sorry this happened to you.

First thing is that you need to go get checked for STD's.

Then I would see an attorney to secure your finances.

How was the marriage before his cheating episodes?

Sorry, but a second time cheater would end it for me.

mrsdhatch - take a deep cleansing breath and let it out sloooowly.

1. Get tested for STD's. YOUR health is #1 right now. And don't expose yourself to the possibility of contracting the STD.

2. I understand the "home and bills" problem, but they "pale" compared to the problems for you and the children with a self-indulgent cheater for a husband and father.

3. If you "make more money" than he does, selling the house and getting something more affordable REMOVES the "shackle" of material things from your "decision making process."

4. AT LEAST two known cheating "incidents" in 7 years of marriage? WHY do you think he'd change? WHY do you think you wouldn't live the rest of your life in constant fear that he would "change is pledge of fidelity" again, whenever he "felt like it?"

5. "HE JUST TOLD ME HE CHEATED AGAIN AND HAS AN STD!"
He got "caught" or he would NOT have told you.
That's NOT "repentance," that's "I'm sorry I got caught.


God bless.

I'm so sorry for your situation and know how difficult it is. I don't normally post, just lurk. I'm no expert to give advice. My ex H had 10 A that I know of. I felt a lot how you do right now.

Listen to the pros here and they will give you great advice and can help you with this. Get yourself to the doctor ASAP. Tackle each problem head on and try to stay level headed.

I know it's hard, but I also felt I couldn't turn to family and friends. When I finally did.....WOW what support. This is not your fault, he made the choice. I was also the bread winner our entire marriage, I was always scared to be on my own with a child and never thought I could make it. Well now, I'm doing it and doing great. I am in IC and it has really helped me.

Best of luck to you and God Bless

I appreciate it! I really need help!! I am going to take it day by day and c what happens. I may explain everything to me boss (we are kind of close) and see if there is any way that I can get promoted or get a huge raise so that I can put him out and pay for our mortgage on my own. We just purchased the house at the end of May. I cannot sell now!!

Please keep sending me responses!! I need as much advice and help that you guys can send.

Thanks

Have you made your doctor appt yet? If not, then do so immediately. Make sure to be honest with your doctor so that he tests you for everything.

Also, you might want to ask your doctor for meds for depression. I was always against this, but my family encouraged me to do so. When I got on them, the meds helped me to cope a little better.

I have already made my appointment. I am already taking Cymbalta for low grade depression. I am going to tell my psychiatrist what happened and maybe get something a lil stronger. I am on this med to help deal with my anger, irritation, and resentment stemming from the first affair. It is not going to be easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mrsdhatch, I'm really sorry you find yourself in this horrible situation. It stinks.

First, as you probably know, now is not a great time to make any major decisions. That includes whether it would be possible to divorce your H or not. That includes whether or not you could afford to sell your house. When your emotions stablize a bit you can run some numbers. Over the last 4 years of my marriage, I spent almost $10,000 on marraige counselors, my psychiatrist and medication. Had it led to saving my marriage, that would have been a good deal. However, my marriage couln't be saved.

If in a couple of months you decide 2 infidelities is just too much for you, and you decide to divorce, consider the savings in psychiatric bills as paying the closing fees for the house.