Me, too!

My middle name should be 'Go' or 'RoadTrip'.

I would like to travel more but don't have much of a budget for it. I did go to Michigan twice this year. I'd like to go someplace exotic but that's on the long list. When you start from scratch late in life, there are other priorities.

My plans for this weekend include going to see Cross Canadian Ragweed tonight at The Pageant in the Lou' and then tomorrow night seeing my favorite local band Big Easy in a venue that I've never been to in Wentzville. I'd like to get in a little dancing. And who knows what else may happen, call me Mr. Spontaneity!

Well, my plans to finish painting my hallway are falling through as we speak. Anyone mind if I vent a little? If so, just skip ahead.

I was out last night until late. I didn't check my voice mail until this morning. There was a vicious one from my mother spewing venom because it was selfish of me to not be home and she needed to speak to me RIGHT NOW and it was URGENT how could I be so inconsiderate as to not be there etc.,etc. I called back this morning. Here's the urgent situation:

My brother is moving stuff out of his storage locker. He's giving some junk (yes, junk - bits of broken furniture) to my DS. They have someone who will bring this junk 1/2 way to my house Saturday (why this had to be arranged last night and not today is beyond me). It's an hour and a half drive. I'm supposed to meet her there and pick it up and bring the junk to my house. No mention of how or when DS is going to pick it up and bring it to his house. He doesn't even have a car and comes by bus when he visits.

So I asked about the vile message and why she just didn't call my cell phone. OH, she says, you mean this number ###-###-####? (correct number). :RollieEyes: Well, I didn't want you to have to pay for anything. Okay, so it really IS ultimate selfishness to *gasp* leave my house for an evening because God forbid that a true emergency happen that someone needs to contact me for - I might have to pay????!!!!

And, when I mentioned that I don't have space for the junk and that I'm in the process of decrapifying my own house because I want to sell it, she tells me it's my problem - she doesn't have room for it either. Doesn't the dumpster have room? Did I mention this stuff is JUNK!!!???!!!!????

And why bring the junk to me - my DS lives ON THE WAY for my brother to drop it off. NOPE, instead *I* get to spend my Saturday afternoon driving halfway around the countryside to pick up some moldy junk that I don't want. And somehow this is *MY* problem???!!!!!

What do you think the penalty for not showing up will be? AFter all, I'm selfish for simply not being home.

Thanks guys, I feel a little better.

What's wrong with saying you don't want it and you won't be there to pick it up??

Ouch! But of course you will be under my control as here is you plan for the evening, tell toxic mother that any important call should be places to the phone that you will have in closest possession. Tell DS that it's time for him to grow up and that he needs to deal with said junk himself. Establish a boundary that it will not come to your home. Tell your brother you won't be there.

You are going to need to erect some serious boundaries with several people in your life, including bunches with your toxic mother.

Oh, and go out and have fun all weekend. Put your needs first for once, it's a liberating experience.

I will be on a seek and destroy misson for the hornets infesting the deck.

* Call son and ask if he wants the stuff.

* If he does, have him be at your place at time to leave, get the stuff, and take it directly to wherever he lives. OR, tell him he needs to find a friend with a truck or van (or rent one) and he needs to go meet your family to get the stuff.

* If he doesn't, have him call your mother or brother and tell them he doesn't want it.

If your son is old enough to live independently and is not significantly developmentally, mentally, or emotionally challenged, he is old enough to take care of this for himeself as he benefits from this 'gift' - not you.

Football game tonight....My cousin's daughter, my aunt, my mom, my g/f and her son are coming with us.

Work Saturday, Sunday and Monday.

OT question...anyone have any suggestions on how to get over the fear of traveling? Flying, driving it doesn't matter. I haven't traveled since before my kids were born and I would LOVE to do it but the fear holds me back. Well I should say..the "what ifs" hold me back. What if I get lost, What if I miss a flight, What if my car breaks down.....BLAH!! Plus I have a mother like Tabby that condemns me for doing things for myself or by myself even though she did the same thing when she was my age. I am learning to stand up to her now at 42 but it's been a long long process of getting to the point where I can't worry about pleasing her or anyone else for the sake of my sanity.

Anyways.....I know it sounds silly and I should just do it once to break the fear but ARGH I just can't do it. I want to take my kids to Philly and DC next summer and I want to go to Memphis alone. I'm such a freak!! LOL Any suggestions?

What is the nature of your fear? Traveling alone?

Hey, you wanna go to Memphis - 4 hours from me. I can go down my street, turn left, turn right a mile later so that I get on the interstate, then - 4 hours down the highway - I'm there!

So, what happens if your car breaks down on the other side of town from where you live? You deal with it.

Do you have a friend who lives 100 miles away? Could you make it there?

You know, if it's your desire to travel, you can tackle this in baby steps.

(If you have a cell phone, you might not have to tell your mom about a little adventure - go and, if you need to call her, just use your cell phone. If she asks what you're doing, tell her 'not much...just sitting here'.

Then, if she berates you tell her you know you need to live a fuller life and learn to embrace the joy of an adventure.

What if Orville and Wilbur Wright had not dared to live a dream or embrace adventure?

Strictly in general terms, where do you live that you're 4-hours from Memphis? For the record I live in the St. Louis metro area.

I am about 300 miles from St Louis in the heart of the Southeast.

Since I have to be guessing I guess somewhere in Kentucky.

Close - I'm south of there. Somewhere in Middle TN.

Ah, a woman of mystery I see. Shall we say Louisville then?

I am not so coy, I live in a small burg along the Mississippi River in NW St. Charles County. That alone should provide enough clues!

Booka...it's traveling in general...would hate to break down and have my kids with me or be alone and be stuck somewhere and not know anyone...

For me once I got pregnant with my son 18 years ago my life changed. No more bar hopping...etc. I've lead a very cautious life because of my kids. If I make a mistake it not only effects me but it effects my kids. And now that my kids are getting older I feel like maybe I can get the old me back a little bit. Certainly not by bar hopping but by traveling and living life again.

I have a friend in MS about 5 miles from Memphis and we've talked for 7 years about me going down there. It would be a 6-7 hour flight with one stop or a 900 mile 14 hour drive.

bbs...gotta get my daughter from school

That's too bad about the travel thing Ronda. When I was 14, I drove with my brother from Texas to California. He was a month away from 21 at the time. My sister had just moved out there with her family a few months earlier and we were bringing out her car which she'd left in storage. The trip across Texas took a full day, and we actually broke down outside of a little town called Van Horn. The service station we stopped at had to order the part from El Paso and it took 3 days to arrive. Our 3 day drive ended up taking 5 and half days.

It was one of the coolest experiences of my life. The fun of traveling is the adventure for me. Not knowing what awaits me between here and there.

Seabird, that is hiliarous, because we took the same trip to California from Texas when I was 14! There were 4 of us in the back seat and my dad had to pull over several times and give us a whippin on the side of the road for a little backseat boxing! [line up against the car while I take off my belt!]

BTW, I won $1400 by baseballing a trifecta at Santa Anita on that trip.

Ronda it is then. Let me ask you this Ronda, since your divorce, have you had an adult life of your own separate from your children's? I'll hazard a guess that you have not. If my guess is true, you'll need to do some work on you to become a complete person independently of your children. This will involve building your self-confidence where you you view a trip as an adventure rather than with fear and trepidation.

I drove 450-miles one-way to Michigan by myself twice this year and back, including returning in February through 200+ miles of true blizzard conditions.

I'm heading down to a concert hall in St. Louis by myself tonight. I have found that attending concerts by yourself is actually quite enjoyable, you have no one to entertain but yourself and can focus and the performance a lot more. I know I will enjoy myself and have absolutely no fear at all of going by myself.

I should note that I rarely see a woman at a bar by herself so you're not alone in that crowd. I can say unequivocally that divorced women need to be far bolder.

I live in the Nashville, TN area....and I love to go to the symphony The last two years, I've had orchestra view tickets - behind the orchestra, looking at the conductor's face. The swell of the music is incredible.

Love to travel.....I've driven anywhere I really wanted to go for years. I've put my small children in the car and set out at 4 p.m. headed to Florida so I could drive most of the way with them asleep. We've always gotten in the car and gone where we wanted - when I could afford it. Hasn't been often enough, though.

BTW, my daughter tells me I still need to get a life.

I was out dancing with a msle family member once. A man approached our table and asked me to dance. While we were dancing, he pressed a piece of paper with his name and phone number on it. Apparently, he was a gigolo. When my relative tapped me on the shoulder (and I was grateful because I was getting bad vibes), the guy asked me about what was going on. I told him that was my body guard (he is 6'3" and has a black belt in karate) and my family wouldn't let me go out without him. He looked really concerned.

Anyway, if I go out, the only men who approach me are very blue collar and I am sure there is nothing wrong with them. However, I imagine that not many blue collar men would be interested in the things that interest me. I've educated one man on wine, food, music, travel, and more.

I never get approached by men who interest me. Don't know what that is about. Some women may be turned on my men in uniforms. I'd much rather have a sharp dressed man who knows all that stuff but can still wear jeans and t-shirts, do yard work, and play hard.