I tell myself that I need to do this for ME...and I WANT to sooooo badly!! My son is almost 18 and my daughter is almost 12 so it's not like I can COMPLETELY live my life for me which is why I'm feeling the trepidation that I am....I suppose. Part of it also is my fear of failure and being out of control. Yes I'm a control freak to an extent. LOL I'm also a planner. I have to plan everything out just so and if I think there is a small loop hole where somewhere could potentially go wrong, I'll bag the entire thing.

Truthfully it took me a LONG time to let my kids go on field trips with school. I would be up all night the night before they were to go...just sick to my stomach with fear that something would happen to my babies! At first I would make them stay home so they would be safe. But eventually I forced myself to let them go so they could have wonderful experiences. I still get that way on occasion but I don't act on it and I don't make it known to them.

Like I said, before I had my kids I loved to travel. I just need to buck up and DO IT and quit bellyaching about it...LOL

you get brave enough to go to memphis and I'll meet you for a tour of Graceland - I've never been there though I've driven by.

HA!

I just got this in an email

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Love the ones who don't just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Kiss slowly. Forgive quickly. God never said life would be easy. He just promised it would be worth it.

So, put those kids in the car (get a AAA membership so someone will come rescue you and get the car checked out by a mechanic) and head out somewhere for a one night trip to go see......a ball game. Go for a night at a state park.

Ronda, take a friend if you need someone to help you cope in the event of a difficulty.






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BTW, a few weeks ago, I met The Diplomat in Boca Raton where he was traveling for business. Friday, while he was at work, I got guest services at the hotel to drive me to the art museum. When I finished there, I went to Mizner Park. He picked me up after he finished work - using our cell phones to find each other.

On Friday evening, we discussed the fact that they had just evacuated the tourists out of the Keys because of Hurricane Fay so there wouldn't be many people there. So, Friday night, we packed up and got everything together. Saturday morning, we drove to Key West. We came back on Sunday evening. And I flew home on Monday.

Heck Cinderlla, you take me to all of the best BBQ places and I'll meet you there!

I love the pulled chicken at Hog Heaven!!! The baby back ribs at Calhoun's are pretty good even if they are a chain. Memphis is really more famous for Barbeque. If I'm gonna eat out, barbeque is not my usual. The children and I loved Herbert's in Franklin but they closed when the land was bought for road widening. Jim and Nick's is pretty good.

I used to love the barbeque and hot fish from this trailer parked in the parking lot at a gas station near where I used to work. I alway's prayed extra hard when I ate there. You would have thought I was nuts for going there.

Oh, there is Neely's and there's Nick's. In my part of town, there's not as much barbeque as there is other stuff.

Right now, my area is deficient on good Chinese though we have good Indian and good Turkish. I know a place with great burgers and great pan fried grouper. A family-friendly sports bar - it's even non-smoking now due to law changes.


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I used to get my hair cut by this woman who moved here from Australia - she was fascinated by the variety and quality of the food here. I've planned one MB get-together. I could do it again if there were enough people interested.

I have not been to the St. Louis Symphony is quite some time and perhaps I should add that to my list. I was in a Beethoven mood Monday and played the Emperor's Piano Concerto as well as the 5th and 9th. The 9th is my all-time favorite piece of music.

Tonight I'm going to see Cross Canadian Ragweed at my favorite purpose-built concert venue in University City, The Pageant. I'm guessing it holds about 3,000 or so. I doubt there will be that many tonight for this rather eclectic band. I've seen tow other remarkable concerts there this year, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (with The Duke Spirit as the warmup) and what I consider the best concert of my life by Devotchka. After the Devotcha concert I downloaded every one of their albums. I Saw Nine Inch Nails several weeks ago. I have very diverse musical tastes, same for film, same for food, and the same for wine.

I wonder why blue-collar men are attracted to you.

May I suggest that if you can identify a man who interests you that you approach him. Be a bit bolder in that regard.

Ha, I can't beat Cary Grant, but I clean up well in an casual style and rarely wear T-shirts.

You might want to reread and revise your comments about uniforms!

I am not a rib man, although love pulled-pork, do like chicken, and am mad about brisket.

I can't think of a place for good BBQ in this entire market although many people make very good homemade BBQ.

Booka - I can't figure out the man thing.....It doesn't matter where I go. How I'm dressed. And I am much much more a wine and symphony woman than a beer and baseball woman.

The Diplomat is a corporate exec kind of guy. My x is an electrical engineer.

Maybe I should go back and relearn the art of flirting and being coy.

Well, you could do worse. I seem to attract the extremely irrational

So if it's not the way that you're dressed, is the the venue? Is it your mannerisms that you've adopted after living with an engineer? Believe me, I understand the engineer personality, my Dad is an EE.

When things produce the same unsatisfactory result its a time to change tactics.

I don't understand other people's attractions to me. I do understand my attractions to others and know that if I follow my normal ones I'll end up with someone like the XW all over again. So, I consider other things, a personality being very similar to mine, and and intellect that will match mine. These prove to be elusive traits in these parts so I know I'm looking in the wrong places. I've given up on meeting women at bars, except in extremely rare circumstances they don't represent the value that I require.

So, dish on the Diplomat. How serious are you for him? How did you meet? Who was attracted to who?

I love going to the Symphony but yet I'm very much a t-shirt and jeans kinda girl. I'm mostly attracted to the same kinda of man too. Uniforms/blue collar/cowboy kind will turn my head. Stuffy white collar men do nothing for me on most occasions. A man in a tux like at the Symphony gets my attention though! Also I prefer dark hair men over blondes.

I'm going to try even more harder to get over this travel thing. It's on my list now!

Gotta head out to son's football game. Check in later

Ronda

I am a natural blonde and have little preference for a woman's hair color. I consider each on their own merits.

Put it on your short list. Start building your won adult life. You'll need that skill set as the birds will eventually leave the nest.

Ah, The Diplomat. Met in January 2001. He lives a long long way away - in the same town as his two children. He has said, all along, that he is leaving that area when the youngest one graduates from high school. She is a junior this year. They live w/ their mom....oldest one is starting his second year of college out of state. Didn't want to move off and leave them. Can't fault him for that.

I live in Middle Tennessee. I won't move my children away from their dad and 3 grandparents and I won't leave them with their dad. Can't fault me for that.

So, we've seen each other through the years. Talk almost daily. Share more w/ each other than we ever shared with out previous spouses. But, when we see each other, it's not real life - usually. His employer does have an office in my city but it's not one where he could permanently work just due to the nature of his work. My employer, while one of the largest employers in the state, does not do my current work in any city but the one in which I live.

So, we can continue as we are for 2 more years then we will have to do some reassessing. I don't know where the relationship goes then. But, we are a good match. Our children are ok with us as a couple.

How did we meet..........well, we met on an internet bulletin board where we posted as anonymous people responding to a myriad of other people.

When I was careening out of my relaitonship with Bachelor #1, he posted wise advice to me. He recognized that a lot of my issues at the time were related to needing a real job and offered to help me with my resume. He prodded me on through my very long and half-hearted job search until I found something suitable. He originally got my phone number from a woman who was also on the bulleting board.

Thanks for sharing. I will reserve all comment.

I find myself mostly ambivalent to dating although I do go through various phases of dating. I had some experience with LDR's and have little interest in them at this point. I'd prefer something a bit more immediate but even that presents its own problems. I am convinced there is some amount of chance involved in the process but that without actively working at it that the amount of chance decreases. I am very close to getting referrals from several sources that have my interests at heart. I'm hoping that proves a better experience than the online experience. I have my dating stories to be sure.

The good thing for me is that I'm very relaxed and comfortable in my life. I know that I could make it the rest of my life single. That's not my goal but there is comfort in that knowledge. I could get very heavy into public service and expend a lot of energy in that direction and perhaps reap a few rewards. I keep a good attitude and zero expectations and tend to enjoy all experiences what what they have to offer at the moment, including dating. Maybe it will all end in a fairy tale, I don't know. The good thing is I am strong, emotionally mature, tenacious, and very selective.

So life goes on post-divorce. I can live for today, I can live for tomorrow, and I can plan about a month in advance. The past is dead.

Too much serious dissertation there, let's all have some fun this weekend! I'll make a fine effort at having some fun and entertainment this weekend and after several days of rain, the sun is now shining. Enjoy!

It wasn't my first choice but, years ago, a bunch of us from that board got together and there was chemistry.

The understanding is that, should either of us find someone as good or better for us, it's ok and we may pursue that relationship. In 7 years, that hasn't happened for either of us. Despite my going to school, working, going to church, going all sorts of places, I've not found anyone and, despite his living his life there, he's not found anyone else. So, that's how it is.

Do I 'need' someone to make my life complete? Nope. Would I like someone. Yup. But that is not necessary. Perhaps, at this point in my life, this is exactly how it should be. My children and I have fun. They are teenagers and we still have fun. How cool can life be?

OK - not much fun on the agenda this weekend - but tonight, going to play some racquetball with the old BF - I've been taking lessons on the sly and plan to whip his a**! Then, we will probably go out for a greasy burger and fries after the tenacious workout! Makes sense, huh? Duh!!! No wonder I can't get rid of those 10 nasty pounds!

Tomorrow, I'm going shopping for new carpet for my family room! I've been snarling over the ugly, worn out, old, smelly, yucky carpet that has been in my family room for the 12 years I've lived here (and it was here for 10 years before that, I'm guessing) - so I don't care if I have to sell my soul to pay for it - I'm SICK of it and gonna get some new stuff! You GO girl! Gonna volunteer a few hours at the women's retreat at my church - serving lunch and cleaning up. The retreat was a lifesaver for me when I was going through my divorce, and I try to participate in each retreat as it happens.

Sunday, hopefully the sun will shine in Chicago and I'll have a BBQ with BF and maybe his newlywed daughter. I am dying to see the wedding photos!

Two weeks from now - VEGAS with my best girlfriend in the whole world! (if I win, I'm gonna buy carpet for the WHOLE HOUSE!)

Ya'all have fun with whatever you have planned!

Laura

I didn't mean "old" boyfriend, I meant "current" boyfriend, who happens to be old!

My big haircut is tomorrow at 10. I don't know what style I want. Have NO idea. Just know that I'm having 8 inches cut off.

Cinderella - I don't know what your specific demographic is; age, location, etc... I can understand your preferences though. Have you considered going to places where your type of preferred man might hang out and then take the first step?

Short of the gym, I think I've done most of them. It doesn't bother me enough to add more to my life at this point.