Hi,

My marriage is somewhat complex, due to the fact that my wife sends me strong signals.

There are months she's loving and attentive and there are months she's a monster, where she has "headaches" right before the minimal sign of intimacy, and would say cruel things like she hopes our two year old does not grow up to be like me.

Here's a little bit of history for those who are interested in providing some insight.

Me: 44
Her: 39
Kid: B2

Kids from previous marriage on my side:

B19
B16

She has to be the most "detached" person I've met in my entire life. Things like flowers are "cheesy" to her.

At times I believe she is a lesbian in the closet, because of some previous college friends who are declared lesbians. And here non-emotional approach. The only emotion she would display is anger.

I suspect she is having an affair, because there is always an hour or two she never accounts for, and when I ask her she says she goes to the park with the kid, but later she contradicts herself by saying the kid needs to get out.

She is a lawyer, so the term communication to her is distorted, its almost like interrogation, because she never admits to anything. Instead I have to be the one who tries to look for conversation.

She stays at home with the kid, I run a somewhat successful business so she doesnt have to get out and work, but a case here and there which she handles from home during the weekends.

The words "I love you" or any term of endearment are out of her vocabulary, instead she uses words like "fatso" and the such. (I'm 6'; 200lbs. so not that fat)

Over the years I have been gradually cutting back on attention, because it got to the point when she took it for granted. It used to be flowers every friday, dinner every sunday, movies on sunday night, dancing at least once a month plus gifts.

She once told me they didn't mean a thing, so I stopped and now the only come once in a blue moon.

Sex to her is like very distant. She is often rude and demmanding, and gosh-forbid if she doesnt reach a climax, she would tell me I'm no good on the spot.

Is she manic-depressive?

She sounds like a guy to me. Don't take that the wrong way, but it sounds as though her Emotional Needs are similar to those of a guy. Try getting the book His Needs, Her Needs from the library and both of you read it. Tell her you just want to make your marriage the best it can be.

Hmmm...sounds like maybe she's depressed.

I would also agree that it sound like manic depression(bi-polar).
I have spent the last 5 years with my "wife" and her family has a widespread BPD epidemic and that was the first thing I thought of. Definelty need more info though.

If it is then I am very very sorry for you. I have sat back and watched it destroy my wife's family and then my marraige. Living with a loved one that has it is one of the worst expierences a person can go through and kids that grow up in that environment have my pity.