My wife moved into her parents house, which is few hours away. As of right now, she says that things are at a stand still and she has made no descion either way. She needs her space so she can focus on her schooling. I am seeing a counsellar who says to give her space. I am an obsessive phone caller, but am working on that. Both our parents have talked and after her dad speaking rudely to my dad, and me giving her dad both sides of the story, I guess they came to the descison that "things cant be rushed". What do I make of this situation. If you want more details I can post them.

I have been adivsed not call her, and then to make a call and ask where things stand, even if thats a month from now.

I think as long as there isn't another person involved, my advice would be to read:

Basic concepts
About Love busters
About emotional needs.
The article "Why women leave men."

Then...
Fill out the lovebuster questionnaire for the wives from her viewpoint and get rid of the bad habits you have.

Fill out the emotional needs questionnaire for the wives from her viewpoint and try to fulfill whatever needs she will allow.

I am not sure how to advise you about getting the parents involved. Instinct tells me to advise against it, as they aren't counselors. There's a lot to be said for experience, but if their marriages weren't ideal, please take that into consideration when weighing advice. It's can be good to have a support network, but only if they support the marriage as well as the individual.

Infidelity, abuse, addiction, children, prior marriages, your ages - all play a part in how people tend to give advice here. Please fill us in.

The VERY FIRST thing to do is to MAKE sure that there is nothing going on with infidelity. ANd this means snooping.

When a spouse says that "they need space" that is VERY OFTEN something that a person involved in an affair says. Space is NOT something someone in a strong marriage needs.

And unless you are beating on her or messing around behind HER back, your inlaws ARE DEAD WRONG letting her stay with them. Her place is WITH YOU. You are married.

But, unfortunately, I think the chance of something going on is at least a real possibility. She's in school, right? Thats the FIRST place I would look. There are MANY posts here with one spouse going to school and carrying on with an affair.

I'm sorry, that can be crappy news, but NOTHING will improve while she's spending ANY time with anyone else.

Good luck.

Gabagool is right. You must snoop. I don't believe in people doing what she's doing THEN having to do what she says. She has the best of both worlds. Unfortunately,that's what those involved in affairs usually want. They want the financial comfort and someone else in their bed.
I'm not saying she is cheating but the signs are all there.
Put Keylogger on her computer if you can. Check cell phone records. Get to the mail before she does to see what is there. Hire a PI if you need to.
Whatever you do,don't enable her behavior. Her parents are wrong in letting her come back there to live. All I see is her behavior being enabled. Why should you do what she says? I don't agree with the counselor's advice though it may be what MB says to do. This simply gives her time to get her ducks in a row while you wait patiently for her to concentrate on her "schooling". I'd bet my bottom dollar there is someone else.
Do your homework. Don't let on what you know. But there is NO WAY she should be allowed to do what she wants. She has no right to call all the shots.
Stop with the phone calls. Believe me,she will notice and probably call you. Be vague about your life. Don't let on you were snooping. She will want to know all about YOUR life so tell her nothing. When you are no longer available to her,she will seek you out. Again,WHY should be all about HER?
My bet is she is seeing someone else. If you consult a lawyer,don't let her know.
Good Luck.