That's what we all have in common - how this impacts us. The circumstances of the A may slightly vary, but overall we essentially feel the same. You are NOT abnormal, crazy, etc. You are a deeply wounded soul (hence my SN).

I am so sorry that you have this pain too. I really am. I wish nobody had to go through this - ever - it's horrible.

You are right , we share a pain no one will ever know without going thru it.I would never have thought after 35 years that this could have happened, to us. Nightmare is the best word I can find. Every waking minute, I am consumed by emotions I never knew I had. Anger, hate, jealousy,tears,and strangely feelings of love are all combined and surface spontaniously. After 3 weeks although much better, still breakdown uncontrollably trying to rationalize, next steps. I am going to counselling myself to deal with me first and it's helping. W is going thru withdrawal and not ready to participate in counselling and still dealing with her devils. Surreal is the word. No real communicatin yet and she is still making up her mind as to her next steps. I don;t tink she can deal with this by herself,, it'sto big, ergo, she is in turmoil.I am waiting and supporting as best I can but being accused of "pushing too hard". She cannot let go of the A even though she was dropped abruptly. What does it take ? n spite of the A I would go to the ends of the earth for her. Am I an idiot? Can't live without her...

GIB,
This sounds like my story and REALITY has set in for both me and FWH. REALITY is....this is not going away any time soon. And yes, it is for my kids too why I stay and why he is so sorry. Sometimes I wasn't to say TO H*** with you. How DARE you do this to me and expect me to hurry up and get over it.