hi everyone-- it's been a while since i posted. it's been almost 3 yrs since d-day, and we've been living like roommates since. occasionally, we'll have a "good week" when we both want to be nice and try to improve the marriage, and somehow we always slip back into the old day-to-day detachment. we get along for the most part and we both love our kids very much, so i think we're at the point where we're tolerating eachother for the kids. i'd like to start at square 1 again with the EN questionnaire and try to set some boundaries, but i don't know how to get started. i still don't trust him. H is very PA and very much detached from life. he says whatever you want to hear, but i never know how he really feels. the only way marriage builders will work for us is if he starts being honest and open. i just don't know how to break through and get him to be honest. he still walks around like he's afraid of me all the time. like i'm this fragile flower that will fall apart if he says the wrong thing. This couldn't be further from the truth! as a matter of fact, i don't think there's anything he could do or say now that could hurt me. we are hanging on by a thread. anyone know how to get through to someone like this???

How about a call to the Harleys?

could we have an e-mail session with Dr. harley? H communicates best through e-mail...over the phone and in person he goes into people pleaser-politician mode...and I assure you, he's ver good at it...should have run for president...

Does he know about this board? Can he start posting here? Trust the Harley's. They have heard many liar's and people pleasers over the years.