My bf and I have lived together for 5 years and have merged families. my children have been around him since forever (my oldest is 8) last night after we have a disagreement about his childish actions (out drinking with friends and family all the time) I say I don't want to get married. We've already sent out save the dates, but I have been thinking about it privately for weeks and I just don't know if it will work. I am Divorced. bf and I have had a lot of problems with OW in the past. He always said he would stop and never did until he just stopped, and he asked me to marry over a year ago. I said I would and set a date two years out. So there are no more OW and he has been holding down his job. BUT when he runs with his friends, he loses times, forgets me and other responsiblities, he breaks promises and he doesn't understand why I am upset about it. He thinks that just because he's made some pretty hefty changes ever5ything should be fine and he things that I am a nag about everything he does, especially going out. He says he doesn't like to be on a time limit (when out) and that he is just not ready to give up everything (like time out, drinking and losing time). We've been toghether for a long time, we really love each other and I am pushing towards withdrawl, because I am so scared to let him get away with this stuff - because I know marriage really changes nothing. I know it's not a win lose but I feel like if I go back to the giver he will think that this is ok. but if I stay in withdrawl maybe he'll try ow again, maybe he tried ow tonight, he just walked in the door. If I stay in withdrawl we will grow further apart. I just don't know what to do. help please.
