I am new to this never experience anything like what i've been going thru i have been married now for almost three years. My wife told me about 7 months ago she has been unhappy in our marriage a real surprise to me i guess i didn't see the signs. We separated in that time i expressed how much i didnt want a divorce she however saw it different one day we sat down to talk and she said it would be better if we divorced and start all over which made no sense to me. I recieved the divorce papers a cried everyday she urged me to sign. She also told me we weren't together anymore. This is where my story gets confusing and now i dont know what to do. With all that was going on i met someone @ work. Not lookin for anything because i loved my wife. However one night this co-worker askd for a ride home, I fell into the devils trap it went from a ride home to her askn to hang out She wanted to hang out @ my house. I dont really go out much or hang out with anyone so i didnt think much of it my wife since the separation lived with her mother. I made the mistake of bring this woman back to my house with no intentions in mind while in my home we talkd then all of a sudden one thing led to another catch myself on what was happen i stopped. I decided to take her home. feeling guilty driving home the next day the same woman askd for a ride again i agreed she again askd to go back to my place i agreed when i pulled into my driveway i knew it was wrong i drove her home and let it @ that because of that this person began to stock me @ work i dicided to confront her. I calld her she did not answer she calld back and left a message on my phne. The other day my wife calld and said we needed to talk she askd who i had been unfaithful with i froze and did nt give her a response. she processed to call the number left on my msg. Needless to say this women told my wife everything that happened and how we were in the house. Now my wife wants nothing to do with me and our divorce should be finalized by the end of January i dont know what to do. I know i made a huge mistake. I consider myself i very religious person i can't believe i allowed myself to fall like tht. please give me some advice good,bad or any i just dont know what to do.

To me, she sounds like she is just looking for an excuse to make you the heavy for the marriage's failure. I wouldn't be surprised if she already has another man on the side. Either way, there's something more here than meets the eye. She told you it's over, moved out, served you with the divorce papers, encouraged you to sign and told you, you weren't together any more. Then she is apparently outraged that you saw another woman? She says she wants nothing to do with you anymore? How much less could she have than what she had with you prior to that? She sounds very manipulative and, frankly, you let her get away with it.

Sorry you find yourself here. What you need to do now is work on yourself. Work on becoming more independent, self-assured and self confident. This will actually make you appear more attractive to your wife, if there's a chance of reconciling with her. Don't continually tell her how much you need her, love her and want to work on the marriage. Appearing needy and supplicant is unattractive, and she already knows you feel this way.

Another example that you do not date until the divorce is final.

I agree with Galloot. Something was afoot already and it would not surprise me if she had been having an affair when she sprung all this on you.
Why on earth is she outraged? She broke it off with you, insisted on seperating and began divorce proccedings. It may have been best to wait until you were technically divorced to see someone. But, clearly, with all the pressure she was putting on you to sign the divorce papers, she should have no expectations re you not seeing others. You were seperated and divorcing.