Please help me decide whether this is important or not. My husband and I have been married for 2 years. When we were legally married, he promised me that we would eventually marry in church. We decided to marry rather quickly due to his immigration situation and didn't make a big deal at the time because we did have our church wedding in mind. He moved here from another country to be with me. During these 2 years, he has become less and less interested in getting married through the church, yet this remains very important to me. He says that he feels it's all just a waste of money (the dress, the tuxedo, the bouquet, the reception..etc). I feel that we've missed out on something very special and very important...God's blessing. I know it's tradition and to some people this may not be important, but to me it is. I don't really care about the dress, the flowers, the party. etc. I care about being in God's house with the man I love and stating our vows in God's presence. I feel bad that our parents and families never had the chance to share in our "marriage experience" and he's often told me that this is all just a childish illusion. We are both very dedicated to going to church every Sunday and we each have our own personal relationship with God, but I still feel like we should fulfill this sacrament. If it were up to me, I wouldn't even have a big party, or follow all those "material traditions" that come with a wedding. I just want us to have that moment. Please tell me if I'm just being childish and unrealistic and feel free to share any suggestions with me about how I can talk to my husband about this. Thank you!<BR>

Ginnie' My H and I were married 25 years ago this week, in a judges chambers. I used to joke that for our 25th aniversary I was going to do the whole church wedding thing and he could join me if he wanted. Our marriage has been very good til recently. And now we are working to get it back to very good. God will bless you anywhere you are doing right. He seemed to smile down on our union. What is important is how you honor your marriage.

All you really need to spend is the fifty bucks or whatever for the minister. I told our kids long ago that I would be happy to pay for their weddings exactly what we paid for ours - $700. <P>We had always talked about finally having a honeymoon for our twentieth anniversary, by which time our oldest would be old enough to take care of our youngest. The anniversary is coming up in a couple of days, and my H has been living with the OW for almost a year. <P>If you want a church wedding, do it now. If you wait too long, you may never have one.

Ginnie<P>I had a wedding like yours. I always wondered if it would have been more significant if we'd done it the right way. <P>I always thought about this... what about "renewing" your vows on your five year anniversary, or something to that effect, you can have the effect you want and your husband, really should not object. It is a good thing to share your vows with your friends and family. Anyone who goes to church would understand that . Also, even if he's not crazy about it, you deserve to have what you want too. GOOD LUCK!

You did not miss out on God's blessing just because you weren't in a 'church'. God is everywhere and wherever you are is holy ground. He is omnipresent. He was there and heard every word that you and your H said to one another. Just know that you are the church, not the building. God lives and dwells within you. That day in the judges chambers was a very special moment. It's when you two became one in the spirit. Try not to devalue it just because it was not in a 'church'. This may offend him. <P>I will say this, if it really means alot to you, I think that he should honor your desire just because! Also if he made a promise, he should understand that promises are meant to be kept, not broken. It really doesn't have to be expensive at all. Talk to the minister at you congregation about it and see if he/she would be willing to preform the ceremony. Get an idea of everything you need and present him with your plan. Then remind him of his promise.<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com