See below for details on affair.

I've read so much and learned so much in the past few days. Thanks to this site and everyone here for all the wonderful information and great support.

I've printed of some articles from here and asked her to read (haven't given to her just yet). I will share MD.com with her for the articles.

Looking for a little advice on sharing this forum with my WW. For those that have, did this help? If so, how? Suggestions, comments welcome.

And thanks again. D.

Don't bring her here yet, if at all. This is your safe place to vent and get advice.

She only agreed to NC two days ago. You have no way of knowing if she will stick to it, if there is another OM, or what her true intentions are. Take some time and do the work.

Wait until at least after Valentine's Day to think about bringing her here. Seems like a lot of waywards break contact or otherwise relapse around that time.

If you bring her here while she is in an active affair or has just ended contact, you will lose this place as a resource.

DNU1, I posted to you on your thread in JFO. I suggest you move that thread over here. You can notify the mods by clicking on the notify button in your JFO thread to ask to have it moved. Some of the wisest people on the topic of recovering from infidelity on here on these boards...much wiser than your typical marriage counselor (the Harleys' and those using the Harley's materials being the exceptions).

As for bringing your wife here, I agree with bitbucket.

False recoveries are not uncommon. And if that happens to you, you will need a safe place to come and get help to fight the reignited affair. If your WW is here, you will not have the protection you need to get help in working the Plans.

It will be good for her to be here, just not quite yet.

I agree with the above posters. I wanted to show my WW the forums right away after I found them but am glad I didn't bc she broke NC and wasn't exactly being truthful after D-day. I say wait at least 2 months and try to get a sense of her true feelings towards the OM. And try to listen to the vets on here - Every A is different but they sure share a lot of common traits. You may think your W is different but (I mean no disrespect) she is probably is thinking and doing a lot of the same things the other WW on here are doing or thinking.

I don't think bringing your WW here will be of any benefit until the A is dead and NC has been established.

After that, I had a good experience in bringing my FWW here. It helped show her that what she thought she had with OM was NOTHING special, and her words, feelings and rewriting of our marital history was no different that every other WW trying to justify the unjustifiable.

Second, she got some good ole fashioned "advice" from other FWW's who had BTDT, and I still owe LifeChoice a debt of gratitude for her timely and effective words.

The key tough is to NOT bring her here UNTIL you have a committment from her to work towards R.

Thanks bitbucket. The OM has broken off contact with her for about a month now. I was leaning towards not bringing here here...but that "brutal honesty" thing was weighing on my mind.

I'll keep her out of the loop for now.

DNU1, it would be very helpful if you keep your posts all on one thread, even if the "topic" is different. That way everyone who joins your thread has all the info you have shared and has all the info others have shared.

Hang in there and keep posting.

Do not show her these forums unless she's remorseful and repentant and willing to put in the effort to save your marriage.

This will cease to be a safe place for you if you tell her about it and it will be bad if she leaves and then tries to use your posts against you in court.

Keep her out for now till she shows she's committed to saving your marriage.

THEN bring her in, but forewarn her that this is a place of tough love where her justifications for the affair won't fly.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....

In case I wasn't clear...NO...NO...NO...

Out of everything I did during WS A, giving him the info about this place was the worst thing. I had been on here for months, learning, following the plans, getting encouragement and advice when I had Cday. Then MB went down for 10 days. I had no help. I couldn't come here and WS was spinning his evil ways on me (which at this point I was so starved for getting MY EN'S met that I fell for it .....) and was trying to figure out where I was getting all this advice and I told him (remember MB was down for some updating so I couldn't ask if this was a good idea or not...). I thought we were heading into Recovery so I should tell him. Get him "on board"....Didn't work.

Instead, he found me on here, and USED the info and advice I was getting to help HIM to know what I was up to. He found out about Plan B, found out what I was up to, and used it ALL to his advantage....

It did work out in the end, but save yourself some heartache and a LOT OF TROUBLE and DO NOT TELL HER......

not2fun

Sorry. I was growing impatient with replies to my original post.

I have requested the original post be moved here...so I'm headed there with an update...

NO.

if she is willing to read and learn about strenghtening the marriage, order her the books. if she is still a WW and not truly remorseful, this forum will give her everything she needs to continue an A and never get caught. She will always be one step ahead of you.

Let me repeat, NO.

I'm with you...the answer to my question about bringing her here is NO.