I think I'll use Imagine's letter for my email to the OM. For my WW's siblings, here is the email I have typed up:

*******************************************************
Dear Smith Family,

It is with deep sorrow that I inform you of this. My wife, V, is having an affair with another man. The reason for me telling you this is to expose my wife's fantasy behavior in an attempt to end the insanity of this affair and bring reality back to her life. She is destroying our marriage and doing indescribable damage to our innocent children by setting this poor example. I love V with all of my heart and am willing to do anything to save our marriage. I have witnessed the miracles that can take place when the Smith family pulls together to love a suffering sibling as in the example of Heidi. Please offer your support, prayers, fasting, and love for V during this trying time. My greatest hope is that V will return to her senses and end a very damaging affair and save her own soul and hopefully work to reconcile our marriage together if this is possible.

Sincerely,

Erich

PS. V has posted some very hurtful photos of her and her boyfriend kissing on a public website for the public to see. I am including the links to you in hopes that V will feel ashamed of this poor decision and remove the adulterous photos from the public eye.

<Links to said websites

************************************************************
Do these sound ok? I will have to call her parents since they do not have email..

Erichh

Firstly, you need to move this thread to the General Questions forum.

Secondly, you need to express your disgust to your WW of her behaviour. No, you cannot stop her. Inform her that she,your family and your marriage ARE worth fighting for.

Thirdly, massive exposure is essential. Both parties churches, friends, family, workplace. Dang it, if you need to, have a billboard made.

Fourthly, you need to talk less and do more. It's all about action. For example: I would probably confront OM at the most embarrassing venue and loudly ask him how long he has been f''king your W.

Five. By now you should have read what a plan A is all about from the reading of Dr Harley's book "Surviving an Affair"

Six. Don't try and change her. You won't. Change you - look smart. Don't whine or talk too much or talk about the affair.

Seven. Be consistent.

Eight. There is lots more - keep reading the articles...

Remember the KISS principle in your communication

(Keep It Simple Stupid)

Why are you thinking of exposing to OM? Doesn't he already know?

I had thought about doing something like that, but then decided against it, figuring OM, from knowing what little I did about him, would just say something like, "Well, if she had a real man at home, she wouldn't have needed to look elsewhere." That probalby would have just led to a fight.

FWW later confirmed, after coming out of the fog, yeah, that's exactly how he would have responded.

DO NOT WARN HER ABOUT EXPOSURE IN ANY WAY!!!

just expose, and do it right this second