Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 14 of 30 1 2 12 13 14 15 16 29 30
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
Today is OM's trial. We shall see what happens...

In other news, I exercised my rights in regards to the freedom of information and accessed OM's child support issues in PA. Turns out, he has an outstanding bench warrant for his arrest as well as a couple of contempt of court charges!

WW is itching to get our taxes done - she needs the refund and we already agreed to split it. I sent her an email today telling her we are going to have to 1099-B the OM because of the barter arangements. I also sent WW a link to the Federal Child Support enforcement unit saying it is a Federal Crime to be in arrears for more than $5000 for a year or more.

She will go ballistic but right now her hands are tied. We have a child support mediation on 2/11. We agreed to a payment amount in December but we didn't mention anything about medical coverage so we have to go to mediation anyways. If she does not agree to 1099 the OM, all I have to do during the mediation is point out how she is helping OM to hide income to avoid paying child support. I'm sure the court will not look too kindly on her. Believe me, I have all this paperwork together as well as the IRS laws around barter transactions. I also talked to a couple of accountants as well as the my buddy who runs the tax department for a major Pharmaceutical company.


Me BH 49 WXW 50
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,333
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,333
Should be interesting... do you know if he has actually gone to trial, or if he has delayed it once again?

Sounds great about the tax situation - you've got your ducks in a row. It's about time someone held OM to account.


Me: 41, INFP
Her: 46, ESFJ
Married 6/95
B-G Twins
4 yrs recovered from serious neglect on my part.
So happy together!
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,719
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,719
pk,

What is your custody arrangement?

Is his trial over the unpaid CS? Can you turn him in for arrest?

Amazing that she thinks he's a wonderful man. uhuh


D-Day 28 Feb 06
Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06

DD6
DS4(Twin1)
DS4(Twin2)

She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.

Never going to happen.

Ongoing personal recovery through the help of friends, family, and DC United Soccer!
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,333
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,333
Originally Posted by pomdbd3
Is his trial over the unpaid CS?

IIRC, he said this trial was for breaking and entering his (OM's) father's house.

Quote
Can you turn him in for arrest?

Yeah, can you?


Last edited by CuthbertCalculus; 01/26/09 03:08 PM.

Me: 41, INFP
Her: 46, ESFJ
Married 6/95
B-G Twins
4 yrs recovered from serious neglect on my part.
So happy together!
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
Update:

OM copped a plea for probation and anger management classes. OM has to pay for the anger management classes and complete them within 4 months. It's about what I expected.

In regards to the child support, since we live in DE and the order is in PA, the custodial parent has to initiate an enforcement action across state lines. If WW and OM move back to PA, it will be open season on OM by the buereau of child support enforcement. I'm also researching with the Feds - evidently it is a federal crime to live in one state and be over $5000 in arrears for another state for over a year.

Either way, the WW will be VERY uncomfortable during the child support mediation because of this information. She's stuck - she provided him a car to work under the table (I have an email from her about this) plus if she doesn't 1099 him, she'll be viewed as helping someone hide income to avoid paying child support yet is trying to put the screws to me.

BTW, the nice thing about DE is there is an online calculator for the Melson formula where you just plug in the numbers. The amount I am paying her is verified and documented with back up paperwork. I spent the better part of the weekend putting together my case for the mediator. Best case is I'm not paying as much as I am now. Worse case is I pay what I'm paying.


Me BH 49 WXW 50
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,719
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,719
PSU,

You're in an increasingly good situation to get primary custody of your kids.

I'm going to ask a friend of mine who is a cop, but I'm sure you can get him arrested now. I have a friend of mine who works in Child Support Enforcement and she chases people like him down.

I might save my info and my cards for a custody hearing and not reveal them in mediation.

You should be requesting primary custody and you have tons and tons of good reasons to get it.

Seriously, her hospitalization and her involvement with this guy is a ton to work in your favor.


D-Day 28 Feb 06
Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06

DD6
DS4(Twin1)
DS4(Twin2)

She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.

Never going to happen.

Ongoing personal recovery through the help of friends, family, and DC United Soccer!
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
Current custody arrangement is 50 / 50 shared. She gets the kids Mon and Tues, I get the kids Wed and Thurs. We alternate every other weekend.

Luckily I still have a lot of "atta boy" chips at the company I work for. I moved into a dirt cheap place right across from work back in August when I had the first protection order filed against me. 3 br, 2ba, dishwasher for $845 per month in Newark, DE is a STEAL. The bad part is I'm 35-40 minutes away from the house.

My thinking was WW will most likely move to SE PA horse country which keeps me within a 30 minute drive for the kids.

WW was very, very apprehensive about the driving. However, due to my supply chain / logistics background, I am very, very efficient in the morning! grin I get the kids up at 6am, by 630am the kids are dressed, groomed, fed and loaded into the car. I drop DD3 at daycare at 7:08 AM and drop DS6 at school at 7:21am. I am back north and at my desk at work by 8:15am.

WW also gets the kids up at 6am. But, she has to take care of the horses, etc and she gets the kids to school at the same time I do. So the kids sleep schedule does not change.

In the afternoons, I pick the kids up by 5pm and have them back at my place by 5:40pm. WW picks the kids up at 5:45 and have them home by 6. Overall, the kids spend LESS time in daycare when they are with me even though I drive more. It is a lot of driving for me but the kids really enjoy spending more time with me.

As for primary custody, I will fight that battle if the time comes. The house is on the market and WW will have to move where we can keep the current arrangement or we I will file a motion to modify custody.


Me BH 49 WXW 50
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
Another thing, the divorce paperwork will be sent to me on Feb 2nd to sign to make the D final. I am not sure how I will react when I get it. Since I filed, I determine when it is over! grin

WW is pushing HARD for me to sign the decree ASAP. I almost think she and OM are going to run off and get married. Once the decree is issued, she is OFF my health insurance. She currently does not have any health insurance and will have to pay $500 per month in COBRA coverage. So, it is in her best interest for me to delay as well.


Me BH 49 WXW 50
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288
Just a thought... How does OM legally get to stay on the farm with so much debt against you and your missus.

Your are declared bankrupt. What mechanics allow the worker to stay on the farm.

I presume when WW is divorced, then you are going to be expected to have to shell for medical payment for kids. What can these people do if they are married.

What can you say that will prevent divorce, legitimately.


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,719
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,719
You can have him arrested if PA will extradite.

I would call the PA CS office and report him to them. They might contact the authorities themselves. I have a friend who's job it is to track people down who are behind in CS.


D-Day 28 Feb 06
Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06

DD6
DS4(Twin1)
DS4(Twin2)

She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.

Never going to happen.

Ongoing personal recovery through the help of friends, family, and DC United Soccer!
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
Some great news! We have a very, very good offer on the property! Offer is 10K below asking price but within 2% of original asking price. Plus, the buyer is already pre-approved for a mortgage! SWEEEEEEEET!

No strings attached other than the typical boilerplate in an offer.

I am prepared to take the offer and run. But, it would require WW and OM to find a place within 30 days for them and the horses. However, that is not my problem. grin


Me BH 49 WXW 50
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,333
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,333
Cool! Great news, especially in this economic climate!

Do you think WW will balk on accepting the offer?



Me: 41, INFP
Her: 46, ESFJ
Married 6/95
B-G Twins
4 yrs recovered from serious neglect on my part.
So happy together!
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Great, get your lawyer to move this sale through ASAP.

When the OM can' use the WW to put a roof over his head and his horses I bet he will start looking for a replacement OW real fast.

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 90
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 90
You really have done an awesome job lining everything up. I am from very close to where you are, I used to live in Chester County PA, which is where I assume she is going to be heading?

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
WW still hasn't accepted the offer. I emailed the realtor to tell him I accepted the offer as is. We WON'T get a better offer than this for the house.

In other news, the kids did not have school today. The kids stayed with WW last night. At 8:30 AM, I got a VM from her saying the kids don't have school and if I can watch them. Mind you, I get to work at 6am so my day was in full swing. She found a nieghbor to watch the kids. However, during the day she did not attempt to contact me so I had no idea where the kids were. So, I went to pick the kids up at 5, still no contact from her. Finally at 6, she calls and blames ME for not taking care of the kids during the day. I told her the kids were with you - its your responsibility to get them to school / daycare / etc. Plus it was her responsibility let me know of a change in plans. The kids ended up missing their swimming lesson.


Me BH 49 WXW 50
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,153
I
iam Offline
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,153
Originally Posted by PSUBIKER
I told her the kids were with you - its your responsibility to get them to school / daycare / etc. Plus it was her responsibility let me know of a change in plans. The kids ended up missing their swimming lesson.

Typical WW entitlement crap. The kids always pay.

Wayturds all deserve a bus with their name.

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,719
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,719
PSUB,

I have a friend who works in Child Support Enforcement. If you wish, we can talk offline, but I told her the details about POSOM that I knew. She says that if there is a warrant for his arrest that she can very easily contact her counterpart in PA, provide him/her with the location of POSOM, and then have him arrested and extradited to PA.

The offer is there for you. Let me know if you wish to contact me about it and let one of the mods know you wish to do so by clicking on "Notify" and telling the mods to give me your email. I can then get you rolling on this if this is something you wish to try.



D-Day 28 Feb 06
Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06

DD6
DS4(Twin1)
DS4(Twin2)

She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.

Never going to happen.

Ongoing personal recovery through the help of friends, family, and DC United Soccer!
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288
How long have you got before the sale must be signed?


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
"PSUB,

I have a friend who works in Child Support Enforcement. If you wish, we can talk offline, but I told her the details about POSOM that I knew. She says that if there is a warrant for his arrest that she can very easily contact her counterpart in PA, provide him/her with the location of POSOM, and then have him arrested and extradited to PA."

I have never seen some one get an offer of help this great on MB.
I hope and pray that you take this opportunity and move on it today.

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 602
Originally Posted by TheRoad
"PSUB,

I have a friend who works in Child Support Enforcement. If you wish, we can talk offline, but I told her the details about POSOM that I knew. She says that if there is a warrant for his arrest that she can very easily contact her counterpart in PA, provide him/her with the location of POSOM, and then have him arrested and extradited to PA."

I have never seen some one get an offer of help this great on MB.
I hope and pray that you take this opportunity and move on it today.

Yes I am moving on this opportunity. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

In other news, the house sold. WW came to her senses. Plus, the buyers really, really want the property. The next step now is to move everything out.

WW and I were talking on the phone this afternoon - I mentioned that my lawyer was not going to attend the Child Support mediation on the 11th - it's just numbers from back up documents that get submitted and spit out in the Melson formula. The WW DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THE MEDIATION!!!!

I wanted to kick myself for assuming she would know about her own petition! rotflmao If I didn't mention it to her, I could have the mediator attribute income to her since she didn't show! Oh well...


Me BH 49 WXW 50
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
Page 14 of 30 1 2 12 13 14 15 16 29 30

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 294 guests, and 61 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,839 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5