Hey everyone, I know it has been a long time since I have posted. Things were going well and finally my WH filed for custody of our children, we went for the hearing two weeks ago and they ordered three months of counseling marriage and family therapy which I am not sure is good or bad, both I think really. I would not have a problem with him seeing the children, but he is drinking and living a totally reckless selfish life. I just don't think that he is a safe person for them, he is living in another womans house with NO intention of divorcing me?!?! After the three months the custody master will reconvene and review the data from the counseling and then make a decision for custody for WH. This whole thing just stinks! We were all doing really well adjusting and moving on then this and now everything gets all messy and stirred up again. I miss being loved and having a companion to talk to and spend time with and share with. I am doing well alone, but it would be nice to have that again. I have learned a lot about myself and what I like and makes me happy. I am even learning to enjoy the peace and stillness.
We are still supposed to be in Plan B, but I don't know how that is supposed to work with going into counseling, and then there is the matter of the PFA against him that doesnt provide for contact of any form with him, but he is supposed to be having that ammended to allow for contact in a theraputic setting with me and the children. I just have so many concerns with all of this, but thankfully I know that God is in control and he will not give me more than I can handle or bear. I am so thankful for growth and change and healing and that God will work all things for glory! That gives me great hope and comfort even in the darkest of days and times. Please pray for me to remain strong and rooted in God's love and His word! Thank you all

Hi KLB, I'm so glad you gave us an update. I miss you.

Sounds like you are doing the best you can with what you got. Good for you.

You are doing great. Keep close on here if you think about it.

Hello everyone, well, I go for my initial therapy session alone on Wednesday, I am not too sure what I am supposed to say, the judge says that I am to tell him all of the reasons why I don't think WH should have custody why he is a concern for them, well the list is so long I am not sure what is most important, to me they all are! UH, hello PFA (restraining order for 3 years due to abuse) um married to me living with OW in her home, not exactly where 3 very young children should be staying, um lets see drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, the fact that he had the heat and phone turned off to the house, is this where we begin? Or do we really need to get into the STD's and the other realm of things too? What should my expectations be? My WH still hasn't contacted the therapist, so realistically speaking he may not and then this would never happen and then when we go back to court in May what happens? Do I get custody of the kids (which I have had all along, just not formally in writing)? Should I bring up that he abdicated his rights on two occassions in court and now is pursuing custody? I am confused. We have been doing great, and have been totally plan B since June 16th other than indirect in court. I am so grateful that the Lord has blessed us so much and opened my eyes to learn so much about me that wasn't what it should be and helped me to change and grow. Thank you all for your prayers and help. I can only check this infrequently since I don't have a computer or internet at home anymore.
Thank you...
KLB

Tell it all.

Really? I want to, but want to come across as healing I guess and not angry and stuck in it, it will be a year at the end of the month since he left to live with OW and apparently 4 years since A began. I only have known since days before he left, but I want the man to see and know that I am and the kids are doing great we have an amazing support network and WH has chosen this life and these actions should have consequences. This is all so hard, it would be so much easier if there wasn't the "FOG" ahhh what I wouldn't give for the way things used to be before all of this, but then I wouldn't be the woman I am today, so forget that because I like who I am now.....

Thanks for the imput, any more advice greatly welcomed!
KLB

Okay, so here is the short version Temp custody order arrived Feb 17th met with court appointed counselor first week of March told it all, but also that I was praying for my husband and that I am still very much standing for my marriage. Okay, so WH has not ammended PFA to allow for contact of any form yet, and he has not even contacted the counseling office, and we are in court again May 5th. I pray that this will be a final decision until at least the end of the PFA in July 2011! That would be a blessing and he has not changed at all in fact he is still slipping down that very slippery slope, and still very much with OW, however happy honeymoon land seems not to be so happy after a year of only providing $50ish dollars a week to the household and such she seems to be getting disgruntled, but still hanging on to him! Oh well, sad for her that she thinks that she got a great catch! He is nothing the man that I married, so I am glad he is not mine while he acts as he is.
As for the kids and I we are doing GREAT! God is so awesome and amazing! I just transferred my church membership back to my old church and it is great we are making many new friends and rekindling old relationships. They have been a tremendous source of support and guidance as well as much needed physical help with the house's needs and my home repair ignorance. My relationship with my family (parents,siblings, etc.) has grown and blossomed so much, the only source of fustration/sadness is just how ugly and mean my in-laws continue to be. We have thankfully only received signed cards for V-day and Easter, so we have not seen or spoken to them since the b-day party in beginning of January. I still have SO many decisions that need to be made, but I am trusting in God to provide what I need each day as it comes, and it is amazing when you open your heart, mind and eyes to it just how many blessings I really have, I am so grateful and have learned so much in this past year it has truly been one of the best/worst in my life, but the best so far surpasses the bad it is incredible really incredible. I look forward to seeing how God will use me and my experiences to impact and hopefully inspire/help others!
Please pray for the hearing on May 5th and any advice is welcomed. Praying that God is helping and healing your wounds also, just ask and believe, He WILL bless you beyond all you can ask or even imagine.
In His Peace
KLB

Queenie,
I am back on and have been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing?
I pray that you are well....
KLB