Like all of you, I can't believe that I'm in the position to be writing on this board. My husband and I have been together for 16 years. There have been problems in our marriage, but he never spoke up about just how unhappy he's been about certain things. I've been a lunatic - going through menopause, and he's just turned 53. Recently, he's gotten into Facebook and had a small reunion at the end of January with some of his pals from High School. Evidently, one of those people was a woman who he is now involved with. From what I know, they met that once and began communication via email and phone. 2 weeks into the "connection" she was sending emails and text messages declaring her love for him. I found one of these messages last Friday night and confronted him. He told me that he has been unhappy for a long time and that he met someone who he thought there was a real possibility with. He said that there had been no physical contact and that they had decided that it was imperative that things go slowly. He had planned to stay with me, go to therapy, possibly go to therapy with me and see where things were at. I said that was fine - we could do all of that right now, but he had to let go of this woman. No deal.
My husband is sober for almost 8 years, but he seems to be in a frenzied addiction to this woman. A few days after I found out, he spent the night with her. Then, I snooped and found a love letter professing undying devotion and planning to spend their lives together. Remember - although he went to HS with her, they only first met up again at the end of January. So, his decision that he had found "his girl" and that his life has finally brought him to his true love has been made after 3 weeks and 2 meetings.
Needless to say, I'm devastated to the point where I'm not eating, constantly crying and terrified that he is leaving forever. He has been staying in the guest room and is moving out tomorrow. He'll be staying in a friends guest room for a while. He is not financially stable right now, due to the economy and no one can imagine how he plans to survive. I understand that she is a sparkly drug right now and nothing in the world can convince him that she isn't what he's been looking for his whole life.
He wrote me a gut-wrenchingly beautiful letter yesterday about our 16 years together and how he must move on. Our relationship has been troubled and we are very dependent on one another. He says that he wants to stand on his own two feet, but he's clearly not doing that. Despite the problems, we have always been a very bonded team. No one who knows us can believe this is happening.
I want him back, and that's the bottom line. Any opinions or advice would be greatly appreciated, and thank you for reading my long post.
