Is it better to just let it go if you've gone to PLAN D? I mean, what do I tell my fWxW? Yes, she flat out disappointed me to no end. Then, because there were plenty of women to take her place, I moved on so that I could deal w/ the hurt in my own time and my own way. I am much better off financially and emotionally since D day because I moved on. Does it still bother me, yes, it probably always will because it was so unnecessary. I was tempted as well throughout the M but didn't go there because of the fallout, yet she slips into it and acts like it was all my fault. I'm just waiting for her fog to completely lift and hoping it won't be too late when it does. Otherwise, I'm remarried and moved on. i"m not going to sit there w/ all the psycho fog babble. Am I alone in this? Plan D and let them observe first hand what they lost. Then, when they completely defog, MAYBE there is a chance, but I'm not going to sit around in misery waiting for if and when that occurs. Pain yes, options yes. Understand?

Dude

This is the scenario my WW keeps talking about. Like this is what she wants...or what she thinks will happen. Tells me she's not through yet, she just doesnt know it.

Dude, you keep wavering too much. I think you are unknowingly using your new GF as a backup. You’re not meaning to, but you are. As I posted in your other post, you have an “instinctive” personality. Quit acting and start thinking and reflecting. Your “instincts” are going to hurt your new girlfriend and possibly you in the long run. Take some time and just sit in silence and dig within yourself. Don’t watch TV, listen to music, drive your cars, etc. Just sit and meditate on your state of being. Here is a place I want you to go in your mind. Think of your wife 5 years from now, happy again and having her needs met my some knight in shining armor who rescued her from her pain. This knight is someone else and not you. Are you OK with that? Do you think in time you can be OK with that. You seem to love your xW, but your pride rules your actions. All I have to say is, your greatest weakness is your ability to look outside yourself. Your inner being cares or you wouldn’t be posting here. Think about the pain you may inflict on new GF if MAYBE there is a chance with xW. Think about the pain you may inflict on yourself if you can’t truly move on. Why not take a year off from parties and GFs, which are all distractions, and live a year with just yourself. See where that takes you. You keep chasing distractions.

Llewis is right. Read his post a few times.

Right now Dude, you are all over the place. You've got a GF you are falling in love with, yet you are still entertaining thoughts of returning to your XW. You can't have both. Any attempts to do so and you'll end up with neither, guaranteed.

Here's the thing, your ex is your ex. D is final - it's a done deal. Legally speaking, she is out of your life. Clearly, she's still there emotionally. You are at a crossroad, my friend. You can either go back to her and take the road to recovery, or remove her from your heartstrings. The easiest (and likely only) way to do this is drop all communication whatsoever with her. It's like a Plan B, but there's no letter and no conditions for which you will take her back. Continued contact with her is only going to pick at the scabs of your wounds and prevent them from healing.

What to do? Only you can answer for yourself. But you do need to make a decision one way or the other. It's not an easy choice. Damn waywards for putting BS's in this position.