My wife and I took the Emotional Needs survey for the second time last night. The first time we took the survey, we agreed to answer the questions from the perspective of how we felt about the marriage before we had separated and before her affair.

Not suprisingly, I scored "very unsatisfactory" in most of my wife's emotional needs at that time. I on the otherhand, was feeling generally good about how things were going.

This time around, my wife rated me "extremely satisfied" on all of her most important needs. On my two most important Emotional Needs, Openess and Honesty #1 and Conversation #2, I rated her performance as slightly unsatisfied. Coincidently (or not) we share 4 of 5 top emotional needs, although they are not in the same order. She rates Affection #1 and Sexual Fufillment #2.

My needs have changed significantly since her involvement with the OM. Her needs have remained relatively identical from the first survey.

Anyway, I think she was somewhat taken back to hear my responses. In a way, I'm not sure if she can totally meet my most important needs to my satisfaction, just due to our personality differences. I am really quite demanding.

One of her complaints about me in the past was that she thought that "I had her in place" and I didn't pursue her or woo her anymore. Last night I reminded her of that, but I told her that I think the tables have turned. Now I feel that she has me in place and she is not pursuing me like she did before. Anyway, that's how I think complacency has set in with her.

I'm totally committed to the marriage and I have completely change my life around to accomodate her. I'm hoping she can improve her performance. I'm not sure if she can ever really match my energy though. Time will tell.