Two days ago marked the 1st year antiversary of the beginning of FWW's 5-month PA. Dday was the following day. I had been concerned for about a month about how I would handle it. Memories of dday and the subsequent events began to flash back again, even though FWW and I have been reconciling very well. She has been doing everything right, and I haven't triggered since around christmas.
But what was more interesting happened two weeks ago. FWW has been NC since 8/1/08, but Sunday two weeks ago we happened to see OM in church, and he had a new GF on his arm. OM was probably older than this girl's own father. lol. Anyway, after church, FWW starts in subtly with "did you see that baby that R__ was pawing all over." and the like. After a number of these comments, I turned to FWW, and said, "You're frackin jealous!" After thinking about it for several minutes, she had to agree. She admitted that, despite NC, she still had some feelings for OM. However, she said that after seeing OM with another OM, her jealousy snapped and killed and lingering feelings she had for OM. In fact, she said she felt betrayed!
But, as a result of this, she finally opened up about the remaining details that, to date, she "couldn't remember" (yea, I knew it was a lie, also). These were probably some of the most painful details. But, it was good to hear her open up, because it said to me that the last of the fog was lifting, and any remaining loyalty to OM was gone. After going off on my own for several days to recover from this latest, and hopefully last, round of trickle truth, I was finally starting to feel really healed. Yea, many things that happened during the A still sadden me, but at least I feel I'm moving on, and not compelled to dwell on them.
Just thought I'd share this for what its worth.
