Queenie
I had posted on here over the weekend about going into Plan B, and your response was the first I received and was so full of compassion, concern and love that I wanted to stop in to write a note. My relationship was almost 12 years - and we referred to eachother as husband and wife. We were not "legally" married, however the pain is still unbearable. I have now been labelled a liar by some on this board for supposedly "intentionally misleading" that we were married. Honestly, for how incredibly vulnerable I am right now, I did not sleep last night because of it. If your very appreciated support was contingent upon my being "legally" married, I apologize. Regardless, you truly did help me, and I thank you.
Chryss

Chryss,

My support was about your PAIN. Not your status, unless you were a wayward misleading us.

If there is more I can do for you I will.

Remember that many of us are very hurt people on here. Including yourself, and we react to things in ways we might not necessarily ordinarily. I don't always agree with what is said, nor do I engage all conversations because we had our beliefs before this and we still do.

This place for me is about learning how to heel, learning ways to have a healthy relationship and helping other people.

Be good to yourself....

Like they say in AA, take what you can and leave the rest. Be in touch when you can.

How did the fishing go?

A year ago I was fighting going into Plan B, today I'm grateful for the tool of Plan B and protecting myself. What G-d has done with me is for sure a miracle. I have my strength because I have G-d, working in my life today.

When's the next trip?

And I don't think that G-d is done with your hubby just yet.

I would have to agree with you, but G-d may be done with him for ME. Our time might be over... But as long as he breathes, G-d isn't done with him....

I am for you as always my friend!

So DD and I had a conversation and this is what she sent her dad...

Your my father and no matter what happens no events can really change that. It means a lot to have you write this really lovely letter of apology. It really touched my heart. I might not be ready to forgive you now, but hopefully I can in the future. I hope you are not so alone you think its time to leave this earth because G*d doesn't want you to. You need to get help dad you need it. Leave OW and mom behind sole search for who you are. You need to find you, you lost your self on this road that lead you to evil. Now find a new path that will lead you back to happiness. I'm asking as your daughter to find help, I pray ever night that your okay and worry if this is the day that I get a phone call. Or is he Drinking or using. Your my father and leaving this world right now isn't solving any problems. I hope we can mend our relationship I still hope you will walk me down aisle when I get married. I'm your little girl your only one. So I'm reaching to you in your time of need, Find help and better your self. I don't care if you go back to mom or not you need to find what makes you happy. and being where you are now I know doesn't do that. So please get the help you need. I need you to be my father again we all do. Show us the man that you once were. I know he is still in you deep down. Grandma and Papa would be so angry with and Aunt D is so hurt that you havent called. If you ever thought you werent loved you were wrong cause when you left life itself stop working. I love you dad and as your daughter please find help

As of this afternoon she hadn't heard back from him. I told her that WH had shown up at the lacrosse game with crack ho. DD feels used and is upset that she played into his hand.

I'm not sure I can really tell her any different.

Nice to see you Kick... Are you doing ok?

Queenie,

Thanks for asking...yes I am doing great.

I have really been praying for you the last couple of days.
You already know what YOU need to do.....so keep it up!

I am honored to be your friend!!

having fun with Mel at the moment....gotta laugh!

I'm watching you have fun with her. I think it's good for you.

What I NEED to do is get back into DARK.. What I want to do is respond to the email... :twobyfour: :twobyfour: gonna get that thought right out of my head.

Can you believe I was even thinking of going into Plan A again for awhile.... NOOOOOOOOOOO :twobyfour: RIGHT?

I think I shared with you awhile back that once I finally listened to God and figured out that there was nothing, and I mean nothing, I could do to change my WW, I could go no further.

So, I COMPLETELY gave it to Him. God will allow us to keep taking it away from Him and try to fix it ourselves. God is very patient, because He knows that sooner or later, we will FINIALLY realize that only He can do it.

Please Queenie, realize that this is ONLY about you and God. You are the only one that matters at this moment. Take a quick glance back where you came from.....Thank God for all He has done for you!

Now, for the hope you need to keep going....if God has done all this for you trying to get you to walk with Him.....just trust Him to do the same for your WH........RELAX...BE PATIENT....TRUST GOD.....K?

Thank you Kick,

You are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

thanks for keeping me on the right side of G-d. It's where I belong and NO WHERE ELSE...

So since this woman is a little antsy... I'm about to go do the unusual. Bake hamantaschen cookies. UHM... Good....

They are tri hat cookies for the celebration of Purim.

I haven't baked these cookies in YEARS by myself. Wish me luck...

Now that is the real Godess talking!!

Good luck with the cookies, Queenie. Will you please post us a smell while they're baking? Thanks.

Who is about to become the BAKING GODDESS....

Thanks Kick for the kick.....

You got it.. I can't decide what filling to put in. Traditional is prune, apricot or poppy seed. I love poppy seed, but don't have any.. Might just have to check out the cabinet and see what jelly is around.

Queenie, if anything you are making me hungry. I could smell those cookies.

Feel for you this past week. You are a caring woman and like the rest of us wants our prodigals to come home in the end. My prayers are with you.

Thank Hope, my family could use them.

Well, silly me, baking cookies while I am cooking chicken for the boys. Such garlic in the dish is overwhelming the cookies.

I made them. They actually look ok. There is an art to them and let me tell you what they could look like is comical.

I think I used blackberry jam which was in the fridge. I'll get poppy seed for sure this weekend.

I just realized that this Saturday will be 6 years since my birthday when H was withholding sex again from me for almost 15 months and I was so driven to craziness I contemplated suicide. I was so scared I ended up on the couch of a therapist which ultimately led to the destruction of my M.

I realized tonight, I LIKE my life. I almost am GLAD I don't have to answer to anyone. I pretty much come and go as I please and I like that. Hmmm. Maybe I am NOT so ready for him to come home.... I want to play and have fun.

Hi Queenie! (JT jumping up and down)



I like being part of your life.

Love ya'