People I've told so far about this idea is everyone.

Seems...counter productive. Although I am warming ot it.

She is gone and not coming back unless the A is over. Period.

What does that mean? End the A as soon as possible. Nothing else matters. If exposure makes her not come back, then she wouldnt come back anyways. If everybody knows about the A, it makes her catch flak for it and makes it harder for her to keep it up.

Yes, you are right. It does seem counter-intuitive. That confused me at first as well. But it WORKS. And you will feel a LOT better and stronger when you get off your [censored] and take ACTION!!!

Charlotte

I'm trying here ok mate?

I'm here. I'm trying to accept this idea.


What should this exposure letter look like? I'm full of anxiety and can barely think straight and have done so many stupid things so far from it that I'm scared of doing yet another.

What should the delivery method be?

How DEEP should I go? Cause Facebook literally exposes the entire family extended and all.

Dont do this in a letter, do it in person or on the phone.

There are some here who have exposed via facebook & myspace, etc.

If I were you I would use that for "secondary" exposure...for the main people you want to do it in person or on the phone. But for cousins, etc., you can use facebook, etc. JMO.

Charlotte

DUDE!!!! Affairs thrieve in secrecy. Expose to EVERYONE! I will make their relationship VERY uncomfortable.

You said that she apparently told her sister. I can assure you, she doesn't know the whole story. The majority of people have a moral compass and will realize that this relationship is wrong and won't be very excepting of it.

What about this OM. Does he have a wife or a girlfriend. I'm sure he has parents. I'm pretty sure his mother wouldn't approve.

If they work for the same company or (I believe, school system) They definately wouldn't approve for fear of a lawsuit.

This next statement is going to sound mean but YOU HAVE TO STOP BEING A DOORMAT! Stand up for yourself! Stand up for your marriage!

I'll need to steal her phone to get the super list of numbers.

I had to work my [censored] off on google maps traveling down certain roads floor level to find the restaurant the OM owns. So I am taking this seriously at the same time I'm skeptical. So just keep the constructive aid coming and I'll be capable enough to carry out this act.

I should name the OM to everyone too right?

Monty.....ok bro...imagine if you will (that sounds so twilight zone....but thats been your life lately right?) little wifey is sneaking around tip toeing planning to do evil....planning to suck the life from your marriage. WW is a VAMPIRE.

Ok you got that part...ok...next part...

Now you are the GREAT VAN HELSING....what is the one thing that destroys the evil that is vampires....LIGHT....light is the representative of all that is good.....thats why vampires hate it so and choose to sneak and live in the dark. They are souls damned and hiding away from the rest of the world. That is why they sleep during the day while mortals are awake.

YOU are the bringer of light back to your world (MARRIAGE)....by allowing her family to see the light (exposure...no pun intended) you bring whats good and right to thier lives.....most times they will also allow there light to hit the vampire quickening it's demise.

Your wife is dating a college kid with no attainable future at the moment. IF you value your marriage...you will expose it and allow those who love and care for your wife....to sort of add to the intervention...she is an addict right now (most vampires are...you know needing blood to survive thing).

If she values what they will think so much....it is sure to have an affect on her and on the life of the affair....I mean what do you have to loose....you don't fight you loose her....you do fight you still have the possibility of getting your wife back.

The vets here all have alot of collected experience. I highly suggest you listen to them.....if we could all write a script about what WS's would say next...trust me hun....her next line would read straight from it....everything she has said is like a broken record for all WS'S we have all heard and read the same things on other peoples threads numerous times....trust me yours is not that unique.

stay strong...gather your evidence...and present it to her family....you may have allies there yet willing to help you fight...you never know until you try.

THERE YA GO! And remember. THIS ISN'T YOUR FAULT! You can except 50% of the problems in your marriage. She is 100% at fault for the affair. You had nothing to do with that! Be strong!

Yes. Tell everyone who knows her and can positively influence her to stop her immoral and wayward behavior. Don't tell her first. Don't even hint. Just DO IT.

If you think that people here don't know what their talking about. Check this out. When you start exposing to everyone, your wife will be EXTREMELY angry. Then (here's what she'll probably say, "At one time I was considering working things out with you, but now you've blown it!" It's a typical response from the WS script.

Not only name him, but directly call his wife (if married), his children, his parents, his wife's parents, his workplace, his co-workers, his boss, etc. Anything to shine the light on the A and make it supremely uncomfortable for him to continue.

Fight.

The two people who do know that pissed her off already for having been told are going to see me this weekend. Tomorrow in fact. I think I'll gather my evidence sit down with them and go through it so that anyone who doesn't believe can be shown easily what this is.

Keep the advice coming.

AND THANK YOU FOR THE SUPER RESPONSE TO ME. I AM IN A PANIC AND NEED INSTANT ACTION.

My WW likes to also say I am showing her no respect and I am pushing her farther away from me.

She didnt lose her love for you and get into an A, she got into an A and lost her love for you.

She said that when I told the two other family.

GOOD! DAMMIT!!

And we will! You can count on that! We don't want to see you run into the ground and all twisted into a pretzel by your WS!!

Charlotte