I have spoken with my WH who is continuing to relive being 16 years old with the OW...he told me he is digesting our conversation and needs to think about our M but not to hold my breath since 'he is not worth it'..My H ALWAYS says he is not worth it.
Our conversation in person was on Monday..last night after a night out with my friends, I did the stupid thing and drove past MY house..it was after midnight and there in the front foyer (the door is glass) was my H necking with the OW...she is not living with him yet due to her family (she is staying with her sister) giving her grief over what she is doing..leaving a 26 year marriage and her kids behind for my H.
I saw that and my blood boiled. My H noticed my car and before he knew what happened I was on the steps and in the house. I let him know AND her know that they are adulterers and if they thought that their life together was going to go smooth, I was there to let them know that it will not..I have a right to be in my own house...she does not...I have a right to tell her that she is nothing more than a hooker...having cheap sex with a married man...I told her that she thinks she can just leave her family and responsibilities and try to step into my shoes in my home with my H..I told her I will not make that an easy thing to do.
I told my H that he is weak and then demanded to know what he meant by digesting our conversation..once again all he was doing as manipulating me..I will not have him do that anymore. He finally told me that he never loved me..that he thought he did, but it was more like a friend. He believes the love that he has for this OW is the real thing...All they have right now is the sex...there is not much contact between the 2..so now..I must move on.
When I left the house he made me so angry I slapped him across the face (I have never done that before in my life) and told him GOODBYE...
I don't know what the future brings, but I cannot continue the emotional rollercoaster..I have to stop seeing him..stop all contact all together and get on with it...
How sad

Use a strong plan B. You cannot continue to hurt yourself while he is with the OW.

Why are you out of your own house?

Yes..I am now going into a strong Plan B...
The reason I am out of my house was I agreed BEFORE I knew of the A, to give my H some space that he asked for. He told me he was in mid-life crisis..just needed some time alone, so I took a month to month rental in order for him to figure himself out on his own..turns out he wasn't on his own...so there you have it.
I am just happy that the house is sold..odd in our economy..but it is and the closing date is May 1.
I have to look after me now and not worry anymore about my H...
I guess I have to say good-bye.

Recognize your own state of mind ....

ponder the difference between

"I think I'm done"

and

"I am certain I'm done"

PURPLE is "I think I'll quit smoking"

while

GREEN is "I have quit smoking"

I'm not saying you are wrong - but I am (hopefully) offering insight into your current state of mind.

Oh broken- I so understand how you feel. Love yourself- go to Plan B- very dark. I have only been there a week but feel stronger and more balanced then I have for a long time. I gave my WH many chances to do the right thing- He has not-so this is a choice I am making- I could not take the abuse any longer.

I care for my H. But that is not who I am dealing with and as long as WH has contact with OW- I will not allow him to mess with my life any longer.

I am also dealing with an OW who left her marriage and 4 young children behind. The OW also wants my life- I believe. but what she doesn't realize is that there will be nothing- not a shred- left after D for her to have. What fantasy must they be in.

I haven't been served yet- I anticipate that any time- and then watch out because I will have to protect myself.

Stay strong- Love yourself.

While your hubby's actions are despicable, the are also somewhat common. I almost moved out of my own home too. He gave me the same "need space" thing, but luckily when I was on the verge of doing it, the OW's husband clued me in that SHE was planning to move in the day I moved out. How convenient!!!!!

I suggest you go into Plan B also, to protect the love you still have. Sounds to me like this affair won't last much longer.

It is sad that I feel comfort knowing that other people are in the same situation as I...so sad that we are here. I agree..I have to move on and live my life and learn to love me..This is not so easy..but I am really working on it.
I have come to realize that it is not my fault, nor is it Firenice or Believer's fault.
We are victems of selfish behaviour. How can a loving H one day be there for you and the next totally in love with the OW. I don't understand except to say that they are in a fog.
I like you Firenice and Believer..cannot allow myself to be walked all over..We have to be strong for ourselves, because ultimately, when we go to bed at night..who are we with..ourselves. No one else is going to make us happy and I have discovered that if we NEED someone else to make us happy then there is something wrong.
I am now in plan B as painful as it is..but I will be okay and so will others...WE are not the one to blame..so we need to hold our heads high and be happy that maybe we were saved from more unhappiness that could have awaited us in the future.