PLEASE HELP,

How I feel that name to my very depths. Thank you so much. Thank you so very much.

So did I when I first got here... It was the only name I could think of... God came... and he pulled me out of the dark hole you are in...he will come for you.
"Be Still and Know.." HE is GOD....

From where I started I do know this. But today, the dark hole is just more overwhelming than normal. But I have learned it's like a wave, it just comes in and will go back out.

You haven't been here in a long time. What brought you back? Are you ok?

I knew that you knew...We all need the reminder once in a while...



Yes thanks for asking....I lurk all the time...An old friend called me and asked me to come back to help him...then I ran into ANOTHER one Gabreille and she sent me over to Hope... and then you know.. It's hard to walk away from people in THIS pain...

So many people helped me...I don't what I would have done without this place... I have to try and give back...

I'm better than I've been and worst than I've been... But NEVER closer to God and THAT makes me SAFER than I've EVER been....and way more at peace than I ever thought I could be....
I am amazed every single day at his power and Glory....

I used to hate thunder and lightning... Now... I just think....
Yeah... ah huh... that's how mighty OUR God is... ... and if you saw it from outer space... it would only look like a flicker.....in the Immense work of his hands....

Hope you are OK soon... GOoD Luck and Prayers Frank

Your spirit and heart is awesome to have around. Thank you. I usually am in a better place and my faith has gotten me this far. I too have found my relationship with G-d and continue to work on that relationship, but it just dawned on me that maybe I am working on the wrong one tonight.

I'm concentrating on WH and what isn't, rather than G-d and what is.

I will be ok, because your spirit reminded me of what's most important. I hope I am blessed to talk to you again and you can see that really I am a survivor and not just feeling sorry for myself...

Sweet dreams... be well.. and know that you are G-ds greatest miracle.

Oh, it's nice to meet you sir...

I think I need to put this in front of my face.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. And ye shall call upon me, and go, and pray unto Me, and I will harken unto you. And ye shall seek Me, and find Me, when ye shall search for Me with all your heart.

Proverbs 3:25-26 Be not afraid of sudden terror; Neither of the destruction of the wicked, when it cometh; For the Lord will be thy confidence, and will keep thy foot from being caught.

Psalm 143 Oh Lord, hear my prayer, give ear to my supplications. For the enemy hath persectued my soul. He hath crushed my life down to the ground. Answer me speedily my Lord, for my spirit faileth. Hide not thy face from me. Lest I become like them that go down into the pit. Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning. For in Thee do I trust; Cause me to know the way where in I should walk. For nto Thee have I lifted up my soul. Deliver me from my enemies, Oh Lord. Teach me to do Thy will, For Thou art my G-d. In thy righteousness bring my soul out of trouble, And in Thy mercy cut off my enemies, And destroy them all that harass my soul. For I am Thy servant.

And....
G-d transformed skinsgal into Queenie. She was created out of the ashes of pure destruction forever changed internally, into the loving, creative, resourceful, accepting, amazing woman and it was because G-d planned it to be this way.

And he saw that it was good.

Queenie -

You are an amzaing woman who is loved by many. Including me. Take a moment to pause and I'm certain you'll feel it.

(((((Queenie)))))

You're in my prayers, my friend.

-L4

Thanks for listening, Queenie.

I need to stop thinking so much and start listening to Him.

He will show me the way. He's never let me down before, and I don't expect Him to abandoned me now.

It is not my situation to control -- it is His and on His time table.

Thanks for all the kind words... I really needed to hear them... you have no idea... I've been thinking of leaving here too... because of all the 2x4s I get whenever I post what I believe to be kinder ways to battle this.... It's just who God leads me to be.. I mean we are to defeat hate with love right? Not hate with more hate...

Anyway..I'm tired.. all those scripture I needed too... Psalm 143... That blew my mind... it has a huge significance to me... and until you posted it... I never realized it!! I'll explain another time...
I know you are a surviver Queenie... so am I but I think when we get weak.. as we all do... we are closer to God because NEED him and ONLY his words can comfort us... We are sooo lucky we can draw strength form his word...not only Harley's..

Well... better go before I wake up with my face on the keyboard.. Thanks... I'm glad I ran into you on Hope's post...God had something in mind...Boy.. he is a wonder....

Frank

Oh... I almost forgot... why do you type G-d instead of GOD? Same amount of keystrokes???

Ok Queenie,I'm going to give you MY opinion.....

I know this is not the MB way.....but Gods Way....

I feel I have to post this to you this morning...

I truely feel plan B goes against Gods WAY....I'm not saying we must be doormats for waywards to trample all over us,only that we must walk in Faith...show LOVE to them..put out that olive branch..don't let our pride stand in the way....let our ACTIONS speak FAITH and LOVE...

Whats the point of PRAYING and FASTING and asking GOD to restore our marriages when we won't step out the boat and allow God to work through us?
I know its hard...we must humble ourselves and show them through our ACTIONS that we love them and have forgiven them...knowing that they might be nasty and hurtful in their retaliation....it never stopped Jesus???

Some might say that they can't handle the "abuse of words'...thats where ones Faith steps in...believe in Gods mighty power...don't just read it....act it out.....take the bull by the horns so to speak!!

How are you going to get back together with your WH by not communicating? Yes,you wrote the letter..but men are silly sometimes,his most probably forgotten about it by now!!

Queenie, this is just my opinion and I most probably am taking a risk posting it on this forum,but I love you and I want the best for you...to recover your marriage..now step out in Faith...God will never leave you nor forsake you....BELIEVE...

Let God use you...He has moulded you into a beautiful woman of faith,now let Him use you to show your hubbie what can be accomplished together in LOVE and FAITH....NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD.....

The question is ...do you truely believe that scripture.....???

Don't be afraid...He is walking right beside you always....

But h&p, what about the times God turned his back on the Israelites when they did not follow him. Even Jesus of Nazareth advised shaking the dirt from your shoes when dealing with some people.

What about Jeremiah 8 and Amos 2? What about the promises in Isaiah 54?

Queenie, I feel the black hole, I know the depths it will bring you down. I have been in it and some days you don't feel like coming out of it.

When you stay in bed and not want to get up...I understand. It was a trigger for me. I wanted to curl up in that fetal position and never come out of it. I did not think about my family, my friends anyone but the loss of my WH. That is when Satan and his whispers would surround me. "Give up; there is nothing left for you in this world; you are alone"...it goes on and on in our heads. I almost gave in..ALMOST. But I also learned to reach out. I come here and put my sorrows, my pain, my insecurities.

But then a miracle happens. People respond. They get it...they understand. I start to feel faith again. I feel God's arms around me again holding me safe from the free fall. People like you, T2L, Gabby, Holyheart, Pleasehelp, Gabby, SIHW, cat, the list goes on and on. The ones that come running when they realize we are in trouble.

Then there are the days when we feel stronger, we actually have a good day -- that is the time we try and give back. I am no vet and have not had success yet in trying to reconcile my M but I try to help. I try to let others know that I understand like these wonderful people helped me. Look at all the people who still lurk on these boards. I used to wonder why they still come here years later but don't you know they are our angels, our prayer warriors, they are helping us fight the good fight.

No matter what happens in our situations we can count on each other. I used to think that I stand for my marriage alone right now. Others are standing with me. We might pass each other on the street and never recognize each other but here we know each other better than our best friends.

Queenie, whatever you need let me know. We can talk offline, whatever. Strength comes in numbers.

I can't talk on the phone yet, but here is my email...

Let me know when you get this and I will take it off.

got it..will e-mail you tonight.

LOL... it's ok to email me during the day. I have it open all the time.. that's if it works for you... Or I'll talk to you tonight.

Queenie,

I hope you are doing OK. Hang on for Dr. Smartie.. I know that she'll be there soon to help you through this.

Hi Chai,

You betcha I’m hanging on until Dr. Smartie gets here. I can’t wait. I only wish you were joining us as well. We would have a blast. How are you doing? How is babychai doing?

Hopenpray, thank you so much for your honesty and candid response. I have to admit, I totally get what you are saying and for most people I wouldn’t disagree with you at all. BUT, I know my journey, I know why this was happening and a very wise friend put her thoughts to me this way….."The correct action for someone who believes in God is to trust Him to do what needs to be done." I have to TRUST G-d…..

And…. The thing is, you aren't doing a Plan B as a punishment. You are doing it to protect the love you have for WH. You are also doing it to "give" him what he wanted-his freedom. He is getting the consequences of his "desires" and choices. You don't want to rescue him because then you aren't really letting God the work God needs to do with WH. WH needs this time to truly feel the depth of the consequences of his choices. And, if you do believe that nothing is impossible for God, then you let God be the one to make this happen.

You see, I truly understand how we came to this place. We were both alcoholics slowly dying a dry drunk death and G-d had had enough. I love my husband beyond words can express, and the “old” me would have to fix this or make it better. Queenie, needs to learn from her mistakes and as hard as it is, and as much as I wish it could be different, leaving WH alone until he reaches out to me is the ONLY WAY.

I’ve have my chances of showing him I am loving, caring and willing to commit to a new marriage. He isn’t a moron, he is just stubborn and sick in spirit. He has HIS right to HIS journey and for me to interfere is playing G-d again.

What my special friend told me….I know it's hard and I know you love WH, but now is the time to give that love to God as a sacrifice of your faith in Him, and let Him do what needs to be done.

And finally….It's hard to be still and let God be God. But that's what He asks of us. Hope, how can I possibly deny G-d that….. He has brought me so much in my life. He’ll bring me out of the woods with the flashlight that I keep on him to show me the way.

Please Help, I am Jewish and as a sign of respect I don’t write out the full name of G-d. There are many other reasons, but that is most simplistic for me to explain.

Cinderella, I am touched and honored you included me in on your friends hardship. You can trust I have added her in my daily prayers and will include her in our temple’s mi’sheberach. If I get the opportunity to share her plight with friends and a request for prayer I shall do that as well. My heart just breaks for her.

Hey Lookin, I got your message. I am limited on my phone minutes so I have to wait until later or the weekend to call. How was your weekend? You doing ok?

G-d bless you, Queenie. I knew I could count on you. I dare not ask any Jewish people around here. The woman is so traumatized. She is embarrassed. Bless her heart! I knew, just knew, you would be helpful!

G-d blesses all of us who fight for him. And you are at the TOP of the list like so many other people on her.

Thank you for being in my life and helping me.