I have had my own seperate bank account for quite a while now and my wife was kicked out of my house and sent to her parents. Recently my brother told me when he was trying to get some information for me, he found out her parents kicked her out of their house. I guess she was being disrespectful to them and worrying them by staying out to all hours of the night with out letting them know she would be in late or not at all. I guess she has found an appartment to live in from Craigs List and I guess she is now reaping what she has sown. It's a shame it all had to turn out like this, but I am fine and will be a lot better off without her. I'm just glad I have such a great brother who will help me with so much through this and knock things out for me so I will have a much easier time of it when I get home. Well it's back to work for now and I'll post again when I get a chance. Thank you everyone for listening and helping me though. I will see about sending out my resume to anyone who wants to take a look when I get home and start my job search.

I am glad that you are resolved in this issue of her non return!

Just puzzled how you were able to toss her out your own house. Surely, while married, you are obliged to keep her?

If he lived on base, he can have his spouse kicked out of housing due to infidelity. Especially without children involved. I have seen troops who while deployed, found out their wives cheated, then called the base MP's to immediately remove the spouse. 1 hour to pack up and leave!!!

I like it!

Thought I would give you guys an update of how I'm doing. So far really busy with work and it's stacked pretty high since I left on my missions. I have a lot of design projects in the works for my unit on top of the regular stuff I normaly do. I'm trying to go outside the wire with the Chaplin to the escavation site of Ur and see some history. Well that's what's going on so far. Time to get back to work.

I can put your resume on the Navy jobs site, if you don't have time. Don't know if you want to work for the government, but the nice thing is, you just put it online and they notify you of job opportunities. Plus all of your service time counts towards retirement.

Hang in there and be safe.

I just got back from Tallil where they have the excavation of Ur and the house of Abraham. All I can say is for it being five percent excavated it is still impressive. I was able to go with two of my realy good buddies in my unit and we all had a blast. After the tour at night we went to a resturaunt where the food was realy good and after eating we smoked the hooka and drank hot tea while talking about our old times back home. It was a nice relaxing night and I got to know my budies even better. I'm getting close to coming home now and starting to feel anxious. I can't wait to see my family again and just have fun with all the friends I left behind. I'm keeping up on my work so far and today just got caught up from the time I took for this past trip. As for my wife and handeling things, one of the SGT's out here mentioned having an expartay hearing on my leave and that would settle things real fast. I don't know exactly what that is or how it works, but I'll look into it. The faster and easier I can make this the better. I know I'm having fun now and I can't just put off the issue either. Has anyone here ever heard of this expartay hearing? Well I look forward to going home either way.

Google ex parte. It will tell you all you need to know.

tl

I saw this -

Divorce Help: What is an Ex Parte?
TemeculaDivorce posted on May 30, 2007 | views: 1929 | Tags: divorce, Hemet, temecula, Murrieta, attorney
Help by an experienced family lawyer and divorce attorney serving the Hemet, Murrieta, and Temecula areas of Riverside county, California.


Many people have heard the term ex parte, or they know the concept, but they do not understand exactly how it works.


An ex parte application is a form of relief available atfer a separation of the parties and in any divorce or family law matter, including paternity matters. The purpose of an ex parte is to obtain a temporary restraining order, also called a TRO. This restraining order prevents a party from doing something until the court has time to address the subject more thoroughly. Usually an ex parte order will grant custody of the parties' children to one parent, or it will order one person to stay away from the other until the couple can have a court hearing in front of a judge.

Ex parte relief is usually found in a or paternity situation where there is domestic violence between the parties, or where the parties have children.

In a domestic violence situation, the purpose of an ex parte is to obtain a TRO which orders the abusive spouse to stay away from the other party. This would include no phone calls, no e-mails, and no communication of any type. A restraining order would normally order the abusive spouse to move out of the house, to stay at least 100 yards away from the other party's home, job, car and person. It would also prevent the sending of any messages to the protected party, even through a third person, or by way of a gift.

The consequences of violating a domestic violence restraining order are severe, and can include up to one year in jail. After a temporary restraining order is issued, the protected party must show up in court to obtain a permanent restraining order. At that point, the alleged abusive party has the ability to tell his or her side of the story. If you are accused of perpertrating domestic violence, beware: anything you say in open court to defend the request for the restraining order can later be used to prosecute you. If you are guilty, seek the advice of an attorney before you go to court.

The other situation in which a party may request a TRO in a famiily law situation, whether it is a paternity action or a divorce, where the parties have children. Since an ex parte is an emergency request for temporary orders, and the orders are made without a hearing, the court will not grant a request lightly. In order to grant such a request, the court must find a true emergency. Legally, this is called having exigent circumstances and the potential of irreparable harm. Simply put, the court must find the child is in some sort of immediate and probable danger which is so serious that it cannot be corrected.

There are two types of emergencies the court will grant a temporary order for in a divorce situation. They are either one parent is about to flee the state with the child, or the child is in some sort of physical danger. Again, the tempoary restraining orders that are granted at an ex parte are only good for about three weeks. Some time before the orders expire, the parent requesting the order must return to court for a hearing. At the hearing, both parties have a change to address the court. Each party has a right to a lawyer.

If the court finds good cause, the TRO will be extended. If not, it will be dissolved. Prior to the custody order being made, the court will order the parties to attend mediation. Mediation is a meeting between a court official and both parents. The purpose of mediation is to try to settle the custody dispute informally. If the parents are unable to agree on a custody arrangement, the court will make orders at the next hearing. Only the parties are allowed to attend mediation. Attorneys are excluded from the process.

An ex parte in Riverside County as of the posting of this blog is done by filing paperwork before 12:00 noon in the local family law courthouse. The courthouse for the Murrieta and Temecula area is located in Hemet, California. The court will then have give you an answer by 4:00pm that day, telling you whether the ex parte was denied or granted. They will also give you a court date to have a full hearing on the issue of whether the restraining order should be extended.

A lawsuit must be filed before the court has the power to hear an ex parte application. There are three types of lawsuits which a person can file, these include a paternity action, a divorce or legal separation action, or a domestic violence action. If you do not uderstand how to file any of these papers, you should consult with a licensed attorney as soon as possible.

For more information, call Famularo & Associates for a free consultation. We are experienced divorce and family law attorneys who can help. You may also visit our websites at: http://www.temeculadivorce.com or http://www.familylaw-riversidecounty.com

Sounds like ex parte is something that dosn't apply to my situation since my wife and I have had no contact since I kicked her out and we also have no children. Thank you for all the information and helping to clarify what it is exactly. Once again the missions come pouring in and I'm working my butt off to keep up. The heat is starting to kick in over here and from what I hear it's only just begun. I just went through a mandatory meeting from our Combat Stress Clinic for our brigade and a lot of what they had to say I learned and experiance through my ordeal. From what I went through in the briefing, everyone on this site is extreamly resiliant and is dealing with the hardship in their lives positively. From the stories I have heard here and the support offered you should all be commended for aknoledgeing that there is nothing wrong with you and that these troubles are only temporary. We have over come or are in the process of overcoming the challenges in our lives. When we come throught these trials we will come out on the other side better and stronger than we were. From these situations we will not just survive but will grow and be fruitful. Some of you have alredy been fruitful by coming on to this site and becoming mentors to those still going through trials, some of you mentored me and I thank you so much for that. I will continue to post and let yo know how I'm doing and will definatly let you know when I am home safe and sound.

soldier I am glad you are doing as well as can be expected in the circumstances.

The ex parte hearing referred to could be possible due to your deployment... that is.... unable to attend a hearing. In US Family court is it mainly used in domestic violence as described however I have read that in US courts its also "usually reserved for urgent cases"..... in my country (Australia) its used far more often when one party or the other does not turn up in court... most courts not just family court.

If you get a lawyer you may be able to proceed with interim orders if you need them. The thing is I guess is to persuade the court its urgent enough. I suspect a experienced lawyer would be able to answer that one.

Please let us know you are ok and safe and sound.

take care

Fcal, it's good to hear that you are doing well. Staying busy and having a little R&R time is doing you some good. I know that you are still struggling with alot of internal pain but the keeping busy is the best thing during a time like that.
Things will work out for you in time and your life will end up being better for it.
Also, paying your experience forward is a great theraputic route to go. Please keep us all updated and we all wish you the best.

Well I'm here in another beautiful day at Balad Iraq. The weather is getting warmer and I'm as busy as ever. Unfortunatly back home a friend of a friend just found out his wife has been cheating on him with four or more other guys. They have two kids together and he is going through a rough time while going through a divorce. I can kinda understand how he must feel, but with two kids, that's a whole new demention of turmoil I couldn't understand. I know through my pain I have been able to offer the fact that the pain albeit almost unbearable, is only temporary. You feel like your whole world is crashing down around you and there is nothing you can do. Once all the peices have shattered and fallen like in my case now. You start to rebuild a new world with the hope that it will be better than the old one. I feel really good about where I am going now and the way my world is shaping up, I only wish this person back home could see the hope the future holds, but I guess thats all part of the process, going through the pain and heart ache. I go on my leave really soon and am so looking forward to seeing my family and friends. I'm going to be culture shocked with the freedoms I'll have, but I'll manage some how. Well that is all I can write for now before I fall too behind on any work. Back to the grinding stone and I'll keep you all posted.

The 6 years of the war and it's almost constant deployment has reaked havok on alot of marriages. Another casualty of this war but one that is not talked about in the media!!!

Well I'm glad I'm going home soon. Not long ago I was fighting an issue with an NCOIC (non commissioned officer in charge) and doing the right thing by pointing out the regulations on the issue. After a little while the OIC (officer in charge) cut me off and told me I was wrong for pushing the issue and I was lucky to walk away with no reprimand. I felt like I was just chewed for doing the right thing. I really need to get home and relax. Surprisingly on my birthday the first e-mail I got was from my wife and I hadn't heard from her in about three months or close to it (when I kicked her out of the house). She e-mails me with happy birthday and wished it could be under better circumstances. I don't know what she was thinking by e-mailing me, but I would have had a better day not hearing from her. I checked in with my inlaws to see how they are holding up and I guess since they kicked my wife (thier daughter) out of their house, my mother in law has gone into a deep depression and is on medication for it. She was having halousinations of seeing me home with my wife, and other kinds of things that are gone now. I feel so bad and I know none of it is my fault, but I can't help but feel for them. Man things are getting tough and right before I go home too. Well that is where I am at now and what I'm dealing with. I'll continue to keep everyone posted and will talk to you all later.

Well, it's been a long time since I've been on here. I spent a lot of time in Iraq tward the end with no computer and now I'm home. Things got really crazy when I got home and went so far as to file for a restraining order on my wife. She indirectly threatned my life and tracked me down to tell me at my mom's house. I'm sure she was lying about my life being in danger, but I don't take kindly to threats and I have found I'm having a slight case of PTSD. I've got so much going on and am just trying to focus on what's important right now. I am at least happy to announce to you all that I am home now and not getting shot at on a daily basis so you can all breat easier. I'm still dealing with this divorce and a difficult soon to be ex-wife. I'll probably check in every once in a while untill the divorce is final and can't promise how often. Once again I thank all of you for your imput, advise, and support.

Welcome home FcalSoldier. I just returned from Afghanistan myself and have been "welcomed home" by my WW. Still early in the game for me, but it sure is hard as hell to deal with.

WELCOME home Soldier!!! So glad to hear you are back and... even if slowly ... getting all back on track for you. Don't rush... take time ... attend the peer groups for PTSD if they have them for you ... they seem to work really well.
Your ww is seeing what she is losing would be my guess and doesn't like it at all!! She could have chosen to work on the M but did not. her choice her loss. YOU will be ok I am very sure ... may not be easy but you WILL get through it all.

SoL glad you are back from Afghanistan too. Stick with MB and see if your wife would be part of Dr Harleys counselling sessions. it is such a great help in saving any M it just needs both of you willing to follow the MB methods he sets out for couples.

FCal,

Welcome home. I am so glad to hear you are back on home soil. Take good care of yourself. I am female so my inclination is to say pamper yourself - but I know that is not the right guy term. So...... do whatever the guy version of that is. probably has to do with eating and sleeping well and spending good time with friends.

Sorry to hear about the PTSD. It can be a bear. The best offense to deal with it is to be very knowledgeable, to find others who are as well and be proactive.

AM

PS Don't discount the VA's PTSD groups. I have been shocked that there are no other OIF/OEF military in my H's group. I KNOW there is a need out there. The older guys that do attend the group have a wealth of information and life experience - some of what to do and some of what not to do - all good experience the same.

I am seeing a psycologist at the VA Center about my PTSD and talking to him about it on my first visit kinda made everything come back. It was really hard to get to sleep and made me not want to go back, but I know I should. I'm calling to set up another appointment tomorrow so don't worry about me quiting on it. As for my marriage, there really is no saving it. If you only knew the things I read from e-mails she sent her friends about me. Reading them I really didn't know who that person was and we had tried counseling before. I guess I was the only one willing to work on the marriage and we all know it takes two. I have found that through the years of us being together that she had cheated on me numerous times and I'm not exagerating. I've been tested and thankfully I am clean and feeling blessed. My whole marriage was a lie leaving me with questions I know I won't be able to get the awnsers to and even if I did recieve answers I know I wouldn't be able to trust them. I'm in such a mess with everything and the divorce is revealing more of the things I was being left in the dark about. It's just really ugly and I can't wait for it all to be over with. I'll continue to check in and see what comments and suggestions you all have and if you have any questions about my situation feel free to ask. There is just so much to deal with all at once sometimes.