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Originally Posted by aussieswife
Now are you two wonderful aisle shoppers Neak and tl ready for the BIG gig???

have you practised?

have you got it all ready to go?

have you visualised it?

are you nervous? scared? tummy rumbles and sweating? restless and walking in circles?? sweaty palms? don't have ANY need for laxatives?

if so then I'll tell you a secret, YOU ARE READY!!!

Luv
Liz rotflmao

LOOK!

Our Liz is as funny as her daddy THINKS he is!

(snort!)


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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Kimbers you are so naughty !! grin

Dad's birthday on Tuesday. First time he's been home for just ages. But he's off doing soldier things, again.

Neak tomorrow is a big day for me. No sulking or long sadness but a few tears I suspect in the early morning blush

ANZAC Day
Starts in about hour and a half. 4.30am drive to the war memorial, light the votive candles for our lost ones, help unload the vets from the buses, wheel them to the dawn ceremony, read out the names of the fallen as others do the same. Friends and family, like Amy and her Husband, Uncle Michael- Dads cousin, Jacko - remember the guy who said he was going to wait until I grew up and marry me lol, he was such a larrikin, so they won't be forgotten. Do the rounds to make sure the vets are ok health wise.

We lay the wreaths
The Last Post is played
And for the first time stand with the mum and the other wives as a wife and hold hands as the Ode is read and pray as the two minute silence is observed.
The the Rouse and Reveille is played
Then the rolling volley of gunfire, you know Mum and I always jump at that, never fails. Hate it. So does mum.
Then a piper plays the Flowers of the forest.

And then you take a deep breath and go on with serving tea and coffee to the vets and something to keep the kids amused, cool drinks and cakes and lollies.

Then the big march by is held about 11.00am through the city led by a lone, riderless horse, with a pair of boots pointing backwards in the saddle's stirrups.

And of course we are all wearing our red poppies so we can put them next to the names of our family members on our own little Roll of Honour wall.

Our job is to make sure the vets have a great day and know we appreciate them. smile
For some reason its a WHOLE lot more real to me than ever before crazy




Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

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{{{{{{Mrs. Liz}}}}}}}

Happy ANZAC Day, and of course all those dear vets will feel so loved and appreciated. A sad but wonderful time.

I've got to find some fresh air to breathe for the night. It was so cold this morning, and I didn't want to turn on the heater, so I asked young Mr. C to light me a fire. The smoke still isn't fully gone from the house.

Neaksis says I need to get a patch or something to help me stop smoking.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Mom, will you please bring me a pair of stockings? Some stinky little girl seems to have heisted my last clean pair without holes. Not (PRINCESS) to (PRINCESS) mention (PRINCESS) any (PRINCESS) names.

Thanks!


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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This is Dad's Princess rotflmao

Princesses r OK. Even if we can't all play those stupid dumb idiotic squeaky violins. grumble stupid dumb instrument

Just thought to let you know that I didn't spend ALL my time in Ireland just foolin' around and drinkin' loike a spooilt banphrionsa. I also found out the important medical terms just in case. think

Barium - what doctors do when patients die
Benign - what you be after eight
Catscan - search for lost kitty cat
Cauterise - made eye contact with her
Colic - sheep dog
Dilate - to live long
Enema - not a friend
Fester - quicker than someone else
Morbid - a higher offer
Node - I knew it
Nitrates - cheaper than day rates
Outpatient - a person who faints
Rectum - nearly killed him
Tumour - one plus one more
Urine - opposite of you're out

and when someone says "Pogue Mahone" they are not talking about the group called the Pogues but to "go kiss my A**e". very useful laugh

See a true cultural exchange where I can now speak Southern and Northern.

Sio rang Mum yesterday to say Lo and told her Mother Mary and the good saints Mourne (my new nickname apparently because I am such a early riser before noon ahem it is NOT because I fell down that hill in Mourne after drinkin') may start spaking norn iron and then we would all be confused.

what wrong with "Norn Iron" spak - I think you all spak funny.

I,m ritin dis while I'm waitin for de tae to draw.

you all be Sasanach thats all. stickout

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rotflmao I feel like I just visited the North Countree.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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The older Princess is still guided by her dad.... the latest being ...

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.

:crosseyedcrazy:


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

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Just a crazy share:

Yesterday my sister gets a call from the administrator of the nursing home where our Dad lives.

My Dad has been busy busy busy.

Apparently a moving truck and 2 movers showed up at the nursing home.
Dad called them and made arrangements for them to move his furniture to his "new place".
Wherever that may be.

He's in a wheelchair. Cannot really ambulate.
He has no cash money (maybe $10 or so for odds & ends).
He has no driver's license.

He told me recently he was buying "A house in the hills for $4,800." .... NOT TOO SHABBY for San Jose (very expensive).

He also told me he was "Buying a used Honda for $400."

O kaaaaaaa y dontknow

He's a flight risk because he doesn't like their food !!!!!

He's on a low salt, low fat, small portion, "low taste" according to Dad, diet... hell, I'd leave too :crosseyedcrazy:

rotflmao

*le sigh*


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Pep.....Sunday, my mom, who has just moved to a rehab place (it's very nice and beautiful and, when I've been there, the staff has been very nice and helpful). She will not be going back to independent living.

She got there on about Wednesday of last week. Her car has been taken from her and given to me. So, she has no way to go anywhere unless someone else takes her.

Sunday, she went to the person who was in charge for the day, carrying her purse. She whipped out her driver's license and asked to borrow her car because she needed to go see her grandchildren because they needed her to take care of them....The youngest one just turned 17 but that was not part of mom's story. The woman declined...so mom walked out the front door and found someone somewhere....she told them she lived at X and asked them if they could take her there. The person called up X and they said she had just moved to Y. So, they took mom back to Y. She now has a security bracelet and the alarm will sound if she walks out the door without the administrators knowing she's going out.

The person whose car she asked to borrow thought there was one thing that was a good sign....Mom knew enough to get her purse and to show her that she had a driver's license so it was legal for her to drive.

So, she can not have pens, pencils, crochet hooks, or knitting needles. sigh

I've told my children that, when I become too infirm and to addled to have joy and moderate quality to my life, they are to take me out and shoot me.

Will mom adjust where she is or will she end up in the memory unit - which is something we pray doesn't happen? We don't know. We just don't know. sigh

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Does your Mom want to come live with my Dad?? faint


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You two are gonna make Neak feel that taking care of my dad isn't such a bad deal after all!! rotflmao

tl

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It's funny this subject came up today. Early this morning, just trying to leave for all my pre-op stuff, even backed out the gate and just waiting for Mr. C to get in the car, Gramps came walking across the driveway, fully dressed, and got in "his" car.

He said he was only checking to see if the keys were in the ignition so he could take them out, but... :MrEEk:

So he got to ride along for a fun wait of 2 hours at the gynecologist, 1 hour at the hospital, and getting dragged through almost every aisle in Winco. Bet he wishes he's just slept in this morning. laugh


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Pep, do you think the facility staff would survive?

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t/j to Cinderella. Could you look in on Julie and see if you have anything to offer on the problems her 13 yr old DD is having? She has been cutting herself and I thought I read that one of your DD's had a similar problem? Thanks, Mel

here


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Ok, so I have been NPO since 5:30 am. Also, I got up at 4:30 and again at 5:25 to stuff myself as full of water as I could.

I kept dreaming that I was already past my cutoff, and would eithe forget and stick stuff in my mouth, or just be going along, and !poof! find candy (orange slices) in my mouth with no clue how they got there.

Boy, am I tired!


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
t/j to Cinderella. Could you look in on Julie and see if you have anything to offer on the problems her 13 yr old DD is having? She has been cutting herself and I thought I read that one of your DD's had a similar problem? Thanks, Mel

here

rotflmao @ Mel

Wondering how can anyone t/j a threat that has no topic ?????

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>find candy (orange slices)

I LOVE THOSE!

Love Neak too!


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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loveheartKimmy 2loveheart

I saw candy orange slices at the store yesterday but didn't get any. Maybe I should have.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Neak rotflmao @ Pep rotflmao @ Mel.

This whole thread is just one big T/J. laugh


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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I was doing a sex ed class tonight for girls only. Ave 12 to 16 yr olds or hereabouts. Guys you don't need to read any more if you don't want too stickout

These are a very few of the girls comments from the getting to know you bit of the talk, sitting in a circle:-

Lydia (14) It's my first year there, and I'm just starting to take sex. I'm currently 14. But I started sex ed classes in grade 5 so I've learnt a lot over the past few years.

Meaghan (13)I will soon turn 14 in July. I have had about 3 Sex Ed courses in my life time, and "the sex talk" with my mum once. My parents are open to all of my questions and informed me at the age of 10 about puberty, condoms/safe sex, abstinence. I found everything they said to be very un-interesting, since I had already gone through and known these things for quite some time.

Gemma (16) I'm an atheist - (Okkkkk I was thinking, but who am I to question) I learnt what sex was when I was 7 years old - by looking up nearly every related word in a dictionary. I know plenty of people who lost their virginity young, I mean, between 12 and 14 sort of age, and they regretted not their age, neither the experience itself, nor the place, or anything - just the person they did it with. (Oh yeah she is going to be fun fun fun)

Annette (15) I had already pieced together most of the "sex talk" before I was eight. There was this western movie scene involving a mute man, a sexually confident saloon girl and a saddle.(I think she was talking about a Paul Hogan comedy but now I'm too scarred to watch it and confirm) I haven't watched the film since so my memory is most likely a bit blurry. But that pretty much gave me the information I needed to start piecing things together. I came to the conclusion that babies were made from a man's sweat when he has an intense need to hold a woman. I've been pretty sexually aware ever since. (She is kidding me right???? PLEASE!!)

Julie (17 - just) My mum impressed a strong abstinence view while growing up, my dad still thinks I'm a virgin. (Sophisticated hey?) My first sexual experience was when I was sixteen, I used protection and was dating in a "monogamous" relationship I only had THREE boyfriends. QUOTE "I was constantly getting UTI's and not knowing what/where they were from." (Mmmmm yes I WONDER)

So like a sheep being led to the slaughter house I started off:-
Aside from getting STD's and pregnant, why do mum and dad think having sex is not a good thing when you are young?" Long story, short, I said I am actually asking why do adults think kids shouldn't have sex????

ANYONE?????

I could see in the other tutor's eyes she was not truly comfortable with the nature of the question but I wasn't going to let it deter me in answering. I think she thought I was going to tell them where to buy condoms in bulk and that would be it.

The kids had all said that in their research sex was supposed to be healthy, something about even making your teeth stronger and helping with depression (yeah, I laughed grin ).
I explained that while sex can be healthy and you can even burn calories, it certainly isn't a replacement for regular exercise and that it can promote endorphins which can curb depressed attitude but that's not its goal either. But on they went, sighting the jugular, mine, it was about "your morals', and I quickly agreed but then asked the kids to take that away for the moment, along with the religious aspect and focus on the other issue - the one no one had mentioned - the emotional health and well-being of a person. All the other stuff aside, this was a very important fact to consider because that's a huge part of what sex is about when it comes down to it from a health point of view. And at their age, are each of you really equipped to handle all that comes along with the actions??? The consequences??? The emotions???

SILENCE - I was expecting to be howled down :MrEEk:

a hand goes up, "Those STD's thingies, if you only do (well I will let you guess this one) I can't get it in my tongue can I? We were told it was safe. heads nod. Ummm what actually are STD's besides Aids and the goanna thing. ( goanna thing!!!) faint The other woman looks at me in panic, I see the flight or fight instinct arise, a poor mum just volunteering runs into this.

OMG!! oh my. OK sex ed 101.1 (who is teaching these kids this rubbish??????????????)
DR Liz looks over imaginary glasses , Ok page 1, sexual reproduction & STD's - well you see girls there are more than 20 known sexually transmitted diseases, Gonorrhoea, Chlamydia, Syphilis, Trichomonas, Hepatitis B and C and - - - - - - - - - - after an hour of very very descriptive physiological functions and some very curious questioning, we finished the basics.
I NEED a drink. No TWO drinks.

They had a heap of information all jumbled up and turned around, some gaps, and some total rubbish. Like if you have sex standing up you can't get preggers, or do it in a hot tub you are safe. The look of disappointment (or was it fear?) on their faces when I told them that couples actually do it in hot tubs to get pregnant was something to see.

next exciting episode is "Understanding Conception and Ovulation and the Female body" -- the basics. My sis Hayls said we should offer the last bit to men. But I would never suggest such a thing smirk

I also had a "leetle" talk to the 17 yr old in private.

Neak I missed you hon so I will have to hug you a few times after.



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