{{{kickme}}} Today is the first best day of the rest of your life. Hugs.

Something we could not even believe only 2-years ago. You did well Kick. Raise your son well. He has a good Dad.

sad you had to end up with a D, but happy you saved your wallet

Thanks to all for your support and comments. MB should be required BEFORE issuing Marriage Liscenses!!

Road, I too am sad that my WAW could or would not come out of the fog. I would have forfited all worldly possessions to save my M. Just wansn't meant to be.

Kickme, you confuse the tar out of me.

First I will say this. I am so sorry for your lose. it goes without saying but always bears saying, that what has been done to you and your family is atrocious and I wish you the best in life as is deserved when one lives it well.

The confused part is this:
I will state flatly, I don't believe you are feeling as good as you claim. Or at least I perceive that you see things differently based on being married and now not being married. That since you are divorced the marriage is gone and so the will and reason to try again after divorce is too? I mean, being sad and willing to sacrifice to save the M to me indicates desire for a different outcome. Have you considered going into Plan B with your X and see how she responds in the long term? Don't let her message you anymore or contact "you” randomly?

I am not a marriage at all costs person. Every marriage is different. For me, I'm still fighting for mine because I believe there is something to save. I know my wife and her melodrama is just that.

My own court date is July 8th. If that day does pass as scheduled I will continue to hope for my marriage. The marriage itself to me is just paper, my heart is more than that so having a court legally call our marriage "ruined" does not change the state of my heart.

Just offering something constructive. Something far more constructive than arguing the points made about nonbelievers, attack, and such.

As my Dad told me, divorce does not mean the end of love, it simply means the potential beginning of a "new" love for one another should it be wished by both parties. Instead of an adultered marriage you have a new marriage...although as I've read recently I saw something about not remarrying an adulterer...but only if they marry the other person. I believe that's correct...

Scripture is not my first language so please forgive the flaws. ^_^

Monc,
Thanks for your words. I don't mean to be confusing, so let me see if this helps.

Yes, I am VERY sad over the loss of my M. The destruction the A has caused is vast and hurtful to the entire family.

I DID NOT FILE, she did.

My journey was short compared to most. I did a good job on following the MB plans. Nothing worked with my WAW. I raised 3 grown children and NEVER did I have to "drop one off" somewhere else. My DS12 means the world to me as the grown children do as well. However, EVERYTIME I had to either pick him up or drop him off, the OM was there. She walked out of my life and STRAIGHT into another.

So, when I say that I have PEACE, it does not mean that I'm not grieving over the loss of M or family, what it means is that God has allowed me to move past the destruction and focus on the things that matter. By that, I mean, my children, and my God.

Has my WAW responded in some way the last month or so? Yes, she is sad. She's sad because she now realizes that she has lost her "cake maker".

Just so its clear.....last night I took my DS12 back to his Mom and YES, the OM was there.....I made the right decision, and yes, it hurts, but I made the choice not to live that way.

I would love to know that someday when the fog lifts and the TRUE regret and remorse sets in, that we could have an opportunity to start over. I just don't feel that it will ever happen. I just could not stomach the roller coaster ride any longer on Her terms. Now, it's my terms. KWIM?

I am sorry for your D Kick. I'm right behind you, so any wisdom that you can share would be appreciated. Wow, your D went fast like some of the other Ds here. Mine has been almost two years now. I couldn't make my M work, and now I can't seem to get a D either. I feel like I'm going to be in this limbo state forever. UGH.

Anyway, your statement of finding peace is encouraging. I hope to at least find peace when this is over too.

Chai...
Thank you also for your kind words....I have followed your sitch since I've been here and I know its not funny but I laugh everytime I see your sig line, because I, like you, have a WS that did not want anything to do with me.

Saying that, when I KNEW that all my efforts to recover my M were futile, I had no other choice but to then fight for finances and DS12.

To some, that may sound like I'm only interested in money, but that is not at all the case. What I was sharing is that when you get to this point, I would suggest to others to fight for your rights as a BS.

Too many times here we read that the WS not only committed adultry, but in some sense commits armed robbery concerning finances and KIDS. Not sure what the future holds for me reguarding my XW, but she wanted to stay and live her life with the OM, so she was eager to sign away. I just knew that I had an opportunity to "settle" and I took it. My only motivation was for the kids.

You too will come to a place where you will find the peace I describe.

Just have to let go and give it to God!!

Kick:
I'm praying for you and your family. Your faith and willingness to turn it all over to God is inspiring.

I'm giving you a BIG hug, too.

You did the noble thing -- the RIGHT thing -- which was fight for your marriage and your family. You kept your vows "til death" and, unfortunately, this was an unnatural death -- the death/divorce she initiated, pursued and finished. It was all HER choice -- you just had to go along for Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

As for why she's texting you -- my opinion -- she doesn't want you to hate her. She doesn't want people to think badly of her because the divorce is final. Funny how the waywards suddenly CARE what other people think.

And thanks for the advice for those of us in your old shoes. My first court date is this week so it's just beginning for me. Chai, Hope, BestFriend and I all seem to be on the same D train at the moment. Would be nice if at least one of us gets off before the end of the line.

FYI, I had several false recoveries, WH left my house straight for hers, he filed quickly, and he robbed me blind.

So thanks for the pep talk about going for the gold -- literally. Somehow, WH seems to have forgotten that it was my gold, too, and I NEVER agreed to share it with POSOW.

Amen to that. For so long I didn't want to make any waves in hopes of recovery, but he has made it plain that the option doesn't exist. So....I am fighting with everything that I have in me. I'm not watching someone that I don't even know walk away with what I have worked 35 years for.