Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. I so hope that you enjoyed the day or were able to make it through.

Did you feel G-d with you. Did you hear his voice telling you how much he loved you and wants for you. Did you hear the whisper from him saying to TRUST HIM because he KNOWS where you are going even if you don't.

I did. Today.... My heart, my words, my mind are too OVERWHELMED of LOVE, GRATITUDE and THANKFULNESS for today. It was a day that MOST PEOPLE didn't believe could happen. I wasn't sure. It was a day that MOST people thought I was stupid for hoping for. I wasn't sure.

Today, I was SURE that what we have been through has made us better people, because today I smell the coffee, I see the flowers, I feel the pain, cheer that happiness and TRUST MY G-D beyond anything I ever understood possible. Today as I sat in the car waiting for all three of the men in my life to get ready for the flag football game, I heard my H call my OS, son and it was NORMAL....

Today, I watched my three men get filthy stinkin dirty in the pouring rain laughing and playing with people in AA. And I felt G-d with me. Today, I came home and made Thanksgiving dinner - Queenie's Family Style and H and I laughed over the stuffing incident two years ago.

Who remembers when he was WH and I was deep in Plan A, and called him like Mimi told me too. He wanted me to GIVE him HIS FAMILY'S stuffing recipe. Oh did we all here have fun with that one. He got his family stuffing today. He got his mashed potatoes that he didn't have to go and fix because I lovingly took the time to make it like he likes it. He bbq the turkey and it was one of the best EVER. And we sat and watched football and then we sat at the table and I cried. And my son said it's because we are a together as a family.

You betcha it was. I cried almost on and off all day long for the gratefulness to G-d for what he did because did you KNOW, nothing is impossible for G-d. I continue to learn how to be patient. I continue to learn that I need to keep healing and learn about Queenie, because it can be a fine line of just being a wife and mother since I fought for that for so long.

I remembered today that G-d loves me just the way I am today. He is taking me on a journey that I just have to keep trusting him.

Thanksgiving has ALWAYS been my most FAVORITE holiday. Today G-d reminded my soul why and to that I say AMEN...

My deepest wish is that I could GIVE you ALL the blessings that I felt, experienced and rejoiced in.

Queenie, I am so happy for you

I remember reading the incident with the recipe

Hi Best,

How are you doing? Yeah, that recipe story was a valuable lesson. It was during that time that I didn't have any backbone to stand strong because I WAS the WIFE. I was so afraid of making him mad during that period. So I get when someone is afraid.

But you know... Mimi kept on me and pushed me just enough to realize that to get what I wanted I had to fight for it. And fight for it I did. Mark, TMTS - I MISS YOU, and Jamesus were awesome at picking out when I was expecting something. And even though I was scared and didn't want to do it, I pushed the fear aside.

My daughter and her BF are coming for dinner. She left me a text last night telling me that Thanksgiving just wasn't as good as my cooking. I sure did love hearing that. So, it will be my third turkey dinner in a week. Woo hoo... I won't need to cook turkey for a long time.

Shabbat Shalom, Mark, Bellevue, Miriam, Pretty, and Sunflower

Happy Friday.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Shabbat Shalom, Queenie.

Queenie,

You so deserve this happiness that has found you again.

I love you.....

Hi Queenie, I am doing well :-) enjoying a lot of time with the kids. The flood has come down finally - we still have most our things upstairs but will take them down in a week I'd say just to be safe.
Now the situation with WH is a little confusing - I am not sure what to make of it yet.
He is abroad since end of September - his contract is up Monday and get's reviewed - he has no other place to work - there is nothing out there for his experience - anyway he has started to call me again on a regular basis - the first 2/3 times I asked him if he wanted to speak to the kids but he would always answer that they could call him back the day after. Our conversations would be around 10 minutes - very relaxed, no attitude anymore from his side. Yesterday he called again and this time I didn't ask him if he wanted to talk to the kids and we talked for 20 minutes. I really enjoy to talk to him as conversation with him is one of my Top EN's but I am scared that I am putting my hopes up I guess... I have completely stepped away from any Instant Messaging with him as it doesn't do us any good - he always comes across harsh and maybe I am just interpreting it wrong as our conversations are not like this at all.

He is abroad now for 2 months and I can see a change in the last 4 weeks in his behaviour towards me if you know what I mean.

Hi Queenie,

Glad to see you are doing so well.

Queenie

Shabbat Shalom, Queenie!

Shalom Alecheim, Mark, Bellevue, Miriam, Pretty, and Sunflower

Hi Luna, I am doing really well. I truly am.

Best, I'll be back when I have time to really give your post undivided attention.

Happy Friday.....

It's been another FUN week...

queenie you are a true inspiration for those here... both new and those who have been around for a little while.

Hi, Queenie.

As you may know, I'm in D.C. leading a training. The building where the training took place was also the home to the radio station that carries the Redskins games. Their cars with the team's logo were parked throughout the garage. I stumbled upon the floor of the station and thought I'd try to get you some 'Skins schwag, but the station business office was closed. I instead settled for a picture of the van and sent it to you. Probably not the most exciting thing you've received in recent weeks, but just wanted you to know that every day while here as I got into and out of the van, I thought of you.

You sound great. I'm so happy that your Thanksgiving was as warm and wonderful as you deserved it to be.

You are very much on my mind.

Take care and I'll wave as I fly over your house on my way home tomorrow.

Love you.

-L4

Hi Luna, Thank you, but geez I gotta tell you, you sound absolutely amazing and so healthy. You have to know how much an inspiration or examply you have been to so many of us on how to learn to walk through painful stuff and own your feelings, dissect them, and move on. Thank you for always being willing to face the hard stuff so we can learn how to ourselves.

Stronger, I think your name is about so many of us on here. Strongerthanbe4. This is so true in my case. I am a better person because of this period in my life. I wake up and always smelled the coffes, saw the roses, but I didn't appreciate it, not for the beauty of a son and father yelling at each other, or sitting here looking out my new bedroom windown with beautiful blue frigid skies, watching the moon in it's glory, or the trees slightly swaying or me waiting for the sun to come up so I can decide whether to deposit H's paycheck, go shopping, go to AA meeting and then stop by my friends house where all my "sisterhood" friends will be. I'm stronger than before because G-d broke me and continues to create in me the woman he always designed me to be because even if recovery doesn't last, I'm at piece with myself, my marriage and completely TRUST G-d. What he has given me is just so enough, and anything more is just complete blessing after blessing.

I'm stronger than before because I learned from my mistakes and choose to not go back to who I was because she just wasn't healthy and didn't carry the spirit of G-d inside of her.

I'm stronger than before because I am learning how to look people in the face and against all odds, against how crazy or stupid or whatever, I can tell them that it's ok, My G-d has it handled, he has his laws, he has his plans and it's just ok that I'm doing what I'm doing because the ONLY one I answer to today is my G-d.

And I'm stronger than before because even though I still mess up and aren't very g-dly at times, my G-d is a loving G-d who is patient and gracious with me and truly knows that I seek him guidance in all things and when the timing is right he helps me understand where I am wrong, what I need to do to change and helps me every step of the way.

I LOVE your name..... Because I think all of us become stronger than before in our OWN way. Thank you so much for your kind words and gracious compliment. It means alot to me.

Ah my Looking. How I wish I could take a copy of that picture and post it here. I LOVE YOU. One, for thinking of me and two, taking the time our of your horrendously busy schedule to send me that.

OMG - so close to Sonny, Sam and Michael. I know this station well as almost every weekend when G-d permits, I get to listen to this station over the internet and follow each game. They are SO AWFUL this year that I just haven't seen them on tv. Thank you.... Thank you.... I LOVE the picture.

Ah, you need to stand corrected because in many ways, it is the most exciting gift. You got to be close to my team and that warms my heart. Even though they truly suck, even though I'm no longer skinsgal, the woman whose world revolved around this team, I still am a Redskins fan through and through and just am so excited you got to experience that van.

I'm right over the mountain towards Seattle, it's a crystal clear and unbelievable GORGEOUS day here, actually has been all week. So when you fly over, you throw down a kiss and I'll toss up a hug and kiss with best wishes for the sweetest welcome home from your family. I love you Looking. I hope you know how special you are to so many of us.

Hey Queenie. How are you today?

Queenie.... i was snuggles before that i was bella... i have been here with your, not and laundry boy for the last two years. Reading your thread has been an inspiration for me even in my down days. I have far fewer than i did before i am looking forward to the holiday's this year as i am taking my DD2 to disney christmas night when she comes home from WxH. I can't wait. I am glad you like my name and i choose it because 6 months ago i could not say that i was strong but i know today i am and a much better person for it. Thank you again for your pearls of wisdom. I love reading your posts.

NOW.... as for the redskins... you are sooo not not missing much... although i live near philly and got to watch them play crappy McNappy... they played really good against them for they way they have been playing this year. The game was close and they lost in the end of the 4th i was glad to see them on TV.

I hope y'all had a wonderful turkey day and keep up the awesome work.

Queenie,

I'm laughing at your last paragraph but will not quote it because I want to give you time to fix it...

If it's still here later, all bets are off.

Mark

I'm good Chai.... I just got home after shopping and then going to my friends house for a chanukkah party. One part is sad because I really am not a part of them anymore. I miss them, but our lives are just in different directions.

How's that Mark?

Laundry boy is that TMTS? Not is doing pretty well I think, aren't ya Not? I reiterate, I LOVE your name. It's so empowering.

You'll have to tell us how Disney Christmas Night is. You truly touch my spirit that my thread brings you comfort. I'm so glad. It's so important to me that people realize that there is hope, faith and trust in any situation. Maybe the outcomes are what we wanted or planned, but if you hold tight to G-d you can get through anything, in HIS time.

Queenie yes laundry boy= TMTS..... hehe

I definately will. I can't wait to take my daughter there i hear the lights are awesome down there this time of the year.

as for things happening on God's terms... you are absolutely correct. He has a plan for everyone and everything just can't rush it. I am happy in some ways and sad in others about the divorce but the plankton (as my friends call him) is now living with his OW her son and the son's father.. aka ex fiance number 1!!... he is definately not the same person i had known and people tell me it sounds like more of a hastle for him to have our daughter. It's sad but she is with me 6 nights a week so i don't have to deprogram too much. Your thread has helped me over the months to know that recovery in every form is possible. So i thank you for your time and words of wisdom. Again and as always very inspirational to me!!!

You could NEVER t/j as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, that situation doesn't seem to be the healthiest. Who knows what G-d has in store for you, your daughter and them.

I didn't think recovery was possible either. I didn't think that I could ever not think of my life without him, and I can today. I didn't think that I could imagine that when I am with him the A just seems so long ago.

Maybe it's because he is working his best to get healthy for himself and that G-d gave me the peace and serenity to KNOW it wasn't about me, when I blamed myself for so long. Stronger, those words of wisdom come from the people here who stayed with me, held my hand and pushed me when I needed it. My recovery is from HERE and AA and most of all G-d.

I'm glad that I can be of service to you. This very essence, serving others continues to be my focus in healing. I need to keep giving away what was so generously given to me or I am one selfish biotch who didn't learn a thing and isn't working the program of AA.

Excuse me: t/j?