Say no to mental masturbation!!

Atena, Doormat made an excellent observation. Why would the possible ending of the affair cause you to conclude that the affair was not the reason for your breakup instead of the obvious, which is Plan B? You have now been in Plan B for what? 2.5 months? That is plenty of time for him to discover that his affair is untenable. What is he supposed to do? Tolerate her bratty kids? He no longer has you to prop up the affair. He does not have that refuge anymore. Nor does he have the excitement and FUN of sneaking around. His affair is all out in the open!

Doormat is exactly right, exit affair is nothing more than


BB, this very much is a KEY MB concept. While the word, boundaries is not used, the concept IS. It is called extraordinary precautions and would include such boundaries as never spending the night apart, no opposite sex friendships, not allowing a member of the opposite sex to meet your needs, etc. It is to eliminate the conditions that could make an affair possible.

Where DO you come up with your icons? Priceless!

Don't ya love that one? He cracks me right up. I ran across that one years ago on a fitness forum.

p.s. catperson, I am so sorry to hear about your mother.

I highly suspect, but I am not sure, that OW is still keeping A secret from her mom, priest and her XH and maybe even her kids. So they still have some excitement there. The neighbors and the neighborhood knows but they keep to themselves and might not have told her that they know. Of course my H knows but he is cunning and might not have told OW that neighbors knew all along.
I no longer live in the same town nor I know her XH or her mother who lives yet in another town. So for me to expose her would mean having to do a lot of investigation and put lots of time into commuting to the town where I used to live, go to the house where I used to live and where the A took place and risk to run into H and OW which would constitute a huge trigger for me and ultimately make me sick again.
In other words...I would hurt and they will demonize me.
I think I really have to let go, stay dark and accept that for now it is what it is.
On my H side...everybody knows...including at work where I also exposed him to the big boss. She is also victim of an A so I know how she thinks...
blessing