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I won my case today!!! I'll update my other thread tomorrow - no time tonight. I just wanted to let you know there is justice in the world! I didn't say a single thing. The judge ripped a strip off his side without either one of us saying a word. He agreed to pay me within 30 days. OK I don't have the money but at least I have legal recourse if he doesn't give the money. Tomorrow I will tell you exactly what the judge said - it is etched on my brain and no matter how many chardonays I have tonight it won't erase it! I just wanted to let you know that karma does exist!!!!
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I won my case today!!! I'll update my other thread tomorrow - no time tonight. I just wanted to let you know there is justice in the world! I didn't say a single thing. The judge ripped a strip off his side without either one of us saying a word. He agreed to pay me within 30 days. OK I don't have the money but at least I have legal recourse if he doesn't give the money. Tomorrow I will tell you exactly what the judge said - it is etched on my brain and no matter how many chardonays I have tonight it won't erase it! I just wanted to let you know that karma does exist!!!! Congrats Tabby!
ManInMotion =========== (see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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BS - me 56 XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Congrats, Tabby...its about time there is some justice around here...Yaaaaaay!
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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Tabby great news.
Glad you stood your ground and had a good judge.
My XWH is still spinning like a top after mediation. Sometimes the good guys (girls) do win.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years D17, D30 alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08 Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also) H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08 Plan B 1/09 D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Awesome Tabby - cannot wait to hear the details!
BW (me - 45) WH - 45 2 DDs Married 20 years, together 25 DDay Spring 2009 WH moves out Summer 2009 and in with OW Plan A - 4 months Very dark Plan B Fall 2009 WH files D Summer 2010
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Was the board down today? I couldn't get in from work! This connection is wonky so I'll try to get the details in before it crashes.
Court was to start at 2pm. There was a list on the door of cases, there were 2 ahead of ours which were the last. They listed our 2 cases as separate cases (my initial claim followed by his defense claim). In case anyone missed it, my income tax was deposited in his account and he wouldn't return it so I sued. He counter-sued saying that he gave me too much for DS's tuition.
Anyway, they wouldn't let us in the courtroom to hear the other cases so we had to sit outside in the hall. The first case took about 50 seconds. The second one had lawyers and it took about an hour. For that one we were basically the only ones in the hall - my BF came with me for moral support so it was just the 3 of us for most of that hour. Talk about time dragging on.
When it was our turn we went in. The judge asked BF who he was and he answered. He said more in that courtroom than WXH and I combined. The judge said he'd be with us in a moment and began writing. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Suddenly the judge began to speak. He said, "I've been in a court room for 60 years, 40 years as a lawyer. I've seen it all and heart every excuse in the book." Then he looked directly at WXH and said, "Just pay her the damn money! It's for the child!" He then pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me. He told us to go into the interview room just outside the court room and fill it out and sign it. It was a settlement form and we just wrote in that WXH would pay me what he owes in 30 days. BF witnessed it, we got it copied at the clerk's desk and brought it back to the judge. It was over just like that!
And yes, the judge did use the word "damn" which if it gets censored here, it was the 4 letter word beginning with "d" not to be confused with the house that beavers live in.
In many ways it was anti-climactic since I had gone through everything over and over in my head about all of the possible things WXH's case may have raised. I honestly didn't expect it to be over so quickly. WXH didn't utter a peep and didn't hesitate to sign. It was bloody awkward leaving the place - we got on the same elevator together, then he ended up being parked in the same lot, then we ended up side by side on the road for a while. I just kept thinking "GET AWAY WE'RE DONE NOW!!!!"
So I guess I'll have one last meeting with him - when he shows up to pay the money. I doubt he'll trust the mail with it. I don't think he'll force me to have his wages garnished - if it goes to that he will have to pay court costs as well (which I probably could have got but I was too stunned by the judge's instant reaction). However, I doubt he'll pay anything before February 18, his deadline. We shall see.
But I came out ahead and the judge treated him like the jerk he is. We went out to dinner to celebrate and then got some beers and went in the hot tub and had a great evening! I had to work today unfortunately because it felt like a Friday yesterday and now suddenly it's Tuesday feeling like a Monday. But it's done, and in 30 short days, my dealings with WXH will be over!
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Epic Judge!
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Was the board down today? Yes.Suddenly the judge began to speak. He said, "I've been in a court room for 60 years, 40 years as a lawyer. I've seen it all and heart every excuse in the book." Then he looked directly at WXH and said, "Just pay her the damn money! It's for the child!"
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Oh man, how can I get that judge????
Good job Tabby!
BS - me 56 XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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THERE IS A GOD!!!!!!!
Of course, I already know that but this.... this is.....
BEAUTIFUL.... a cherry on top!
Love, love, love to hear this.... especially since I'll be in court Thursday.
I'll be dreaming of those glorious words.... Just pay her the damn money!
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Pay = unhappy wayward
My WXH fantasy about financial freedom is sinking into the sand trap.
I am very happy for you. Sometimes the good guys do win!
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years D17, D30 alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08 Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also) H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08 Plan B 1/09 D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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I'll be dreaming of those glorious words.... Just pay her the damn money! LOL! It's my new favourite word! Seriously - it can be used in virtually every situation. I use it all the time now. Hot diggity damn!
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UPDATE: WXH just called saying he'll be dropping by Thursday to pay me the money (the deadline, of course). Then he had the nerve to ask me about his portion of the refund!! To explain, since he paid half the tuition, he's technically entitled to half of any tax refund I get for claiming the tuition. It works out to about $200. I gave it to him last year - oh wait, 2 years ago this is last year's we're still fighting over. Anyway, I told him it cost me that much to go through this process. So he said, "So you aren't paying me then?" I said, "No." That was the end of the conversation.
So, his options are to (A) forget about it or (B) force me to carry on through the small claims process. Based on the outcome of the first hearing, he will still lose if he carries on. The court costs will increase even further and even if they allow him to deduct the $200 from the final amount, it will still cost him more in the end. I hope he'll pick option A and was only calling to negotiate an amount to write on the check. But who knows - he IS a wayward after all. I'll let you know Friday.
In the meantime, am I doing the right thing? He does have a lot of gall to consider asking for the money. Had I received my refund when I was supposed to, I would have given it to him with no questions asked. I suppose it is rather b****y of me not to but really, he's had my money for 9 months now and he's getting off without interest or court fees for the time being.
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Yay Tabby! Best news I've heard all day.
Me:BW, FWH 1DD 1DS Status: Chronicled in Dr. Suess's "The Zax"
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be silent and see what he does. If he is an idiot (he is) it will probably be a loss for him in small claims court.
If you are feeling guilty...keep HIS money for 9 months and then send it to him a penny at a time.
Just an idea??
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years D17, D30 alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08 Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also) H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08 Plan B 1/09 D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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WXH came by with the check last night. Funny thing about it is the check is written on our former joint account which is now joint with him and OW. Perhaps he plans on screwing her out of her tax refund someday. The other funny thing was in the memo section, he wrote "DS's Money". It's clear he's trying to indicate that this money is for DS and has nothing to do with my income tax return that he's had all this time. What really makes these two things funny is that back when he first moved in with OW, he had cable installed with the same company at their new place. He paid his first bill (including installation) using a check from the prior-joint account, but he was too cheap to buy new checks so it still had my name and address on it. He didn't bother to write his new account number in the memo, so they applied it to my bill. He got in a huge fight with the cable company about it and even asked me to call them - apparently he couldn't understand that when they open the envelop, they just take the checks and put them in a pile. I did pay him back for that (immediately - not 10 months later like this) but it was hilarious that he did it in the first place.
Anyway, I did soften a little on the tax-difference thing and told him he could claim the tuition on this year's return. I wasn't going to do it since getting the paperwork from DS is a major PIA and I'm still not confident CRA will have my information correct anyway so I don't want to go through this again. You would think this would make WXH happy, but guess what - NOT. (is anyone surprised?) Since I make more money than him and am in a higher tax bracket, my tax break on the tuition is greater than his. So he makes more if I claim and split the difference with him than if he claims and now he's upset with me FOR THAT!!! Sorry bud, but you no longer get to use me to optimize your returns - I look after myself now.
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Anyway, I did soften a little on the tax-difference thing and told him he could claim the tuition on this year's return. I wasn't going to do it since getting the paperwork from DS is a major PIA and I'm still not confident CRA will have my information correct anyway so I don't want to go through this again. You would think this would make WXH happy, but guess what - NOT. (is anyone surprised?) Since I make more money than him and am in a higher tax bracket, my tax break on the tuition is greater than his. So he makes more if I claim and split the difference with him than if he claims and now he's upset with me FOR THAT!!! Sorry bud, but you no longer get to use me to optimize your returns - I look after myself now. From experience, don't bother giving them any break. No matter what we do it is wrong and we are the reason for all of their financial pain. As long as they stay in that fog there is no glimmer of the men they were. The fog is deep and rolling still.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years D17, D30 alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08 Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also) H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08 Plan B 1/09 D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Thanks Hope. I understand fully that I am the cause of all problems in the world, from war in Afganistan to climate change. There's nothing I can do about that. Nothing's stopping me from doing an FU and just taking the tax deduction for myself again, but honestly I'm so sick of this crap. If he takes the deduction, I don't have to worry about him calling me later on down the road for his share. That's worth more than the $200 I'd get to keep for myself if I did it. I just want him to be gone from my life for good.
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> I just want him to be gone from my life for good.
Good.
Cos he's a fartknocker of the worst kind!
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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