>I dont want to hurt them

Too late. You've already done this. They just don't know it yet.

>I dont htink i could trust him again.

Since you've never been in that position, you are not qualified to make that statement.

I, too, used to think I would not stand for a mate that cheated.

No way, now how.

I was wrong.

You might be wrong too, but it's mightily high handed of you not to give your husband the CHOICE to make decisions about his own life.

You've wounded him badly, and he has no idea that he's bleeding out. Continued bleeding (not telling) WILL be the death of your marriage. Telling MIGHT give it a fighting chance.

Same with your friend.

I wish I was a multi millionaire sitting on the back of a SunSeeker Predator, sipping a Margareta and listening to Jimmy-Buffet.

http://www.sunseeker.com/performance-motor-yachts/predator108.php

All right, one more, but that's it.

You were looking for people to tell you it's okay to have a ONS and lie to your H about it for the rest of your life?

Dealan-de,

You were the 100th poster on the thread! Do you get a prize?

That's not true, honey.

Like many waywards, you are painting the world with YOUR OWN brush and not seeing it for what it really is.

My husband did the same thing.

Waywards tend to see the worst of every situation because they feel they've done the worst.

It's a good hair day, too.

I wish I was a famous writer living in a lovely little hut on some tropical beach sipping fruity beverages with little umbrellas in them and reading a good book while my H fans me with palm fronds and feeds me chocolate-dipped strawberries.

No I was looking for advice on how to deal with it but the only advice i`ve been given is to hurt the people that I love and porbably lose them from my life, It was a mistake a very bad mistake.

...am I the only one content with what they have?

YOU'VE ALREADY HURT THEM.

Geesh.

Can you not see that?

She can have my crocodile lugagge I won on another thread. I'm not giving up the year supply of Rice-O-Roni.

Yup, here it is....

Let me tell you a truth here that you are failing to see. You will hurt him MORE by not telling him the truth. I kept my A a secret from my H for many years. When he found out and your H WILL find out he was more angry about the lies than he was about the A itself. He was devastated that he had to find out from someone other than me. On top of that you can no longer be friends with this couple. Your friend and your H will be extremely hurt, angry and feel duped by both you and the OM if you continue this fraud of a friendship. You will be much less likely to stay married if your H finds out you slept with another man and then expected him to shake this man's hand.

On top of the above your M will not thrive because you will be building a wall of lies around you to protect your secret. There will never be true intimacy in your M until you own up to what you did.

BR - keep your croc luggage. Poor crocs needed their skins, too.

I AM CONTENT with my red luggage. I'll only share it with the Wookie and Pep (cos I love her JUST like I love that luggage).

So lokil

Are you now beginning to realise that honesty is the only way forward?

How will you tell your H? Will you tell him before your friend?

What would you have done if you knew someone else had slept with your friends H and that he was still seeing her (if only as a friend) frequently?

Mmmmph...I smell something rotting on this thread.

Only FOUR crew???

Peasants.

Darn it!

I was aiming for that honor! I was thinking it would earn me, I don't know, maybe a year's supply of Turtle Wax and couple of tickets to see 'Dexy's Midnight Runners' at 'Curly's Crab Shack'......

Well, maybe next time. Regardless, Congrat's to Dealan-De.

TB

Leave the turtles out of it, BT. They're even harder off than the crocs.