|
|
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860 |
c7
Every day you get up walk down your stairs to start your day you have to walk right through the very place your world feel apart.
Very hard to put this affair in the past when living that way.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,775
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,775 |
Haven't read the entire thread, but , unless there has been some threat, I doubt you could get an RO.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860 |
Not a lawyer. But when you send a NC letter and the OM keeps on contactig that's harrassment. RO to protect from harrasment.
Not allowed to harass people.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,775
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,775 |
Not a lawyer. But when you send a NC letter and the OM keeps on contactig that's harrassment. RO to protect from harrasment.
Not allowed to harass people. IMO, most judges would tell you to buzz off with this type of deal.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860 |
I've seen it here over the years.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,775
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,775 |
I've seen it here over the years. Worth a try, then. But, I bet most judges will tell you to get a life. Thye just do not care about this stuff.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870 |
I know that I have heard two things compared to the loss of someone you love by death from sources out here in the world.
1. Loss of someone by betrayal, desertion, divorce, adultry
2. Moving to a new home, community, school, job.
Both are supposed to be close to dealing with a death.
Going by that philosophy it might be very true that moving will help you guys heal. The house will be a big challange for you to deal with but not imppossible.
Keep working with counselling and both of you spending time together.
Someone said its not a sprint, its a marathon, enjoy the run.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 73
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 73 |
Hey Road,
D-Day was 15 months ago and the last contact was 10 months ago with a brief text sent to FWW comenting on recent FB picture with both of us. My W told me told me as soon as the text came in and I commuicated directly to OM that he can have no contact with this family ever again.
I have all of FWW wife's email, FB, Phone passwords and I have not come across anything questionable since D-DAY.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 73
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 73 |
Hey Sort,
Thanks for the encouragement.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 73
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 73 |
I know it's been months but here's an update.
I made the decision to stay in the marriage and work on it. We just moved into a new house 3 weeks ago.
My FWW has not had any contact with OM since D-Day which was back in November of '08.
She has made numerous changes in trying to proect me and our marriage from this ever happening again.
I wish I could say that don't re-live the incident but I don't think ever can forget about it. But every time does come to memory or have questions I feel guilty and ashamed of even thinking the thought or not having the strentgh to forget.
I am really good at suppressing my emotions and reactions which I guess could be a huge control issue.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288 |
I know it's been months but here's an update.
I made the decision to stay in the marriage and work on it.
Thanks for that info!
We just moved into a new house 3 weeks ago.
Was this a result of our discussion of changing memories?
My FWW has not had any contact with OM since D-Day which was back in November of '08.
She has made numerous changes in trying to proect me and our marriage from this ever happening again.
She seems sincere...
I am really good at suppressing my emotions and reactions which I guess could be a huge control issue.
You need to talk about it: If not to a friend, then speak here.
Last edited by imagine; 07/19/10 12:20 PM.
But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834 |
I know it's been months but here's an update.
She has made numerous changes in trying to proect me and our marriage from this ever happening again.
I wish I could say that don't re-live the incident but I don't think ever can forget about it. But every time does come to memory or have questions I feel guilty and ashamed of even thinking the thought or not having the strentgh to forget.
I am really good at suppressing my emotions and reactions which I guess could be a huge control issue. C7: I am almost 5 years into my Dday. The day that my BW finanlly learned the truth about me. Your no stronger or weaker than others. The "strong silent" type was whacked for a number of reasons. We all have our thoughts that we have to deal with. However, you are doing the right things. She has changed her behaviors to protect you, and you have moved from that house. These triggers will fade. The most vivid ones will take longer, and be very difficult to fade. But having a Wife who is protecting YOU and making you feel safe will go a long way. LG
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 73
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 73 |
Imagine,
Yes, the moving out was result of the discussion here. We still have the old house on the market but I am beleiving that the move had to be made for my sanity in this marriage.
LG,
Thanks for that encouragement.
Trying to battle the jealousy, insecurities, self worth internally is so emotionally draining.
How do I buid the confidence again? How do I stop comparing my self? How do I stop feeling like I am entitled?
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
1 members (1 invisible),
82
guests, and
71
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
