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No I feel horrible for my son---I have spoken to him and I apologized to him. We are very close.
I feel terrible for the pain that I've caused everyone. I dont want to hold onto my husband (even for my son's sake) if its not the right thing for him. I was horrible and unfair to have those affairs---I want to be fair now.
And no neither affair was before marriage.
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ouch. .. No I feel horrible for my son---I have spoken to him and I apologized to him. We are very close. The only man he has known as his daily dad? Again, ouch! What were you thinking? I don't want to know. Larry
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I am not here to fight or justify my behavior at all. I am really just looking for some feedback. I realize that sometimes intentions come off wrong when you write messages online---but I'm totally sincere in my regret and desire to see my husband (and friend) happy.
When I receive the papers, I will sign them---no problem and I will no longer ask him to stay. I'll leave him alone if that is what is best for him.
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ouch. .. No I feel horrible for my son---I have spoken to him and I apologized to him. We are very close. The only man he has known as his daily dad? Again, ouch! What were you thinking? I don't want to know. Larry Ugh, I hate myself! My son has a good relationship with his biological father...we have been good friends for years. I guess he has two dads.
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I don't think anyone here beat you up as bad as you beat up yourself, which means to me that maybe you have learned something valuable.
His biological father can never be more than a weekend dad, if that. It is his daily dad who shapes him. And who he needs to help him through his teenage years, a tough time for everyone, male or female. There is no substitute for a dad. Yea, I know all the stuff about moms who are both dad and mom and the kids turn out ok and all that. My statement still stands the test of time and reality.
There is no point in hating yourself. You can hate what you did and . . . learn. Divorce is closure. It is not the end of the journey. Think about it.
Larry
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hamster, I am not hammering you here; just telling you the truth. Your H's pain likely will not end with you signing the papers. Unfortunately his wounds are deep, and it may very well be a long time before he can trust enough to be in another relationship. And if/when he does, he is likely to have some trust issues. FWIW.
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Whatever happens...please do not stand in the way of your son and his step dad continuing their relationship. They do not deserve to lose each other because of your horribly selfish decisions.
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Of course, I would never stand in the way of their friendship. I have already been selfish enough.
I actually hope that one day I can at least be friends with my husband too because he is a good person and he has been a dear friend to me.
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Why don't you send your H here, he could probably REALLY use some help?
Last edited by princessmeggy; 03/16/10 04:09 PM. Reason: 3,2,1
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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He is the one who introduced me to this website and showed me this forum. He is reading this post as we speak because I told him that I wrote it. I'll let him talk on the board when he feels ready.
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I promised H to sign the papers.
Catch you on the divorced board.
And special thanks to Larry, who had some insightful feedback.
Last edited by hamster; 03/16/10 04:28 PM.
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He is the one who introduced me to this website and showed me this forum. He is reading this post as we speak because I told him that I wrote it. I'll let him talk on the board when he feels ready. Let him?
Last edited by princessmeggy; 03/16/10 04:55 PM. Reason: and we have lift off
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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H is reading this princessmeggy so let's not be silly. He just IMed me laughing about your comment. Why are you so mad at me anyways---I didn't cheat on you!
What I meant is that he will post when he is ready. Don't hang onto every verb I use---I should not have said "let"...I meant, he will talk when he chooses to post and he is ready. That is not for me to decide---he is a man of free will!
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And I have no intention of editing what I post here so you can always repost for "accuracy". I only edited one post and that was to add a special thanks to Larry----but otherwise, I dont plan on changing or taking back anything I said here.
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If you are going to let him do anything, LET HIM GO!
It is very unusual, in fact almost unheard of, for a husband of a cheater to watch her post about it and then laugh. Boinking other men and lying to your husband is no laughing matter. This is why I find your whole story suspect.
No man laughs when he finds out his wife is cheating multiple times.
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Any advice or feedback is appreciated. If you've been M'd less than a year, and the As occurred in 2009, that suggests that you were engaged in those As almost immediately after you were M'd, perhaps even BEFORE you were M'd. Did you get M'd while engaged in either of those As? Reminder...
ManInMotion
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(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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He is definitely not laughing at all about this whole post...he is devastated by the entire experience and it has scared him for life. Nobody finds anything on this post (besides peggy's comment) to be funny in the slightest.
I did not mean to imply that he was laughing about this entire post---I specifically wrote "about your comment". Please do not take my posts out of context.
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Any advice or feedback is appreciated. If you've been M'd less than a year, and the As occurred in 2009, that suggests that you were engaged in those As almost immediately after you were M'd, perhaps even BEFORE you were M'd. Did you get M'd while engaged in either of those As? Reminder... No, I was married in April 09 and had the affair in December 09. I was not engaged in the affair at the time of marriage or prior. I knew OM #1 at the time of marriage, but we were not involved at all. I did not know OM #2 at the time of marriage.
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OM #1 was one of my closest friends from graduate school so I have known him for quite some time---but there was never an affair prior to my marriage or at the time of marriage. I did talk all the time to OM #1 since we were such close friends---and unfortunately, it led to an affair in Dec 09.
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No, I was married in April 09 and had the affair in December 09. I was not engaged in the affair at the time of marriage or prior. I knew OM #1 at the time of marriage, but we were not involved at all. I did not know OM #2 at the time of marriage. Ok. Getting M'd while engaged in an A at the same time would have indeed been pretty horrible. One of my friends went through that (he was the BH), and he ended the M as quickly as he could. Tell me about your decision to get M'd. You say you got M'd after 7 years. Was it something you both were very enthusiastic about doing? Yes, I'm going somewhere with these questions...
ManInMotion
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(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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