Well I agree. However this wasnt 3 OW during the whole marriage. It was 3 in the last 2 1/2 years. He was faithful, but it was almost like a switch was flipped about 5 years ago. When I postponed the divorce, he had ended with 2nd OW and was moving back to area. He begged me not to go through with it, he had realized what he had done. Unfortunately, he wasnt over her and he refused to get any help.

Thanks for saying this LG. It is especially meaningful coming from you since you remember my story from the beginning.



Everyone who knows Wxh keeps saying this. We've been separated since last June and he has missed very few visitations....but I hope you are right. Xh is ds's father, but he is toxic.

So are you done with him?

Yesterday afternoon was ds's regular visitation with his dad. Schedule is from 2-8. I took him over a little early....around 1:00. This new man in my life drove up to see me while ds was with his dad. So we spent the day together. Had a wonderful time. Talked about the issues in our lives and possibly getting all our children together soon. I haven't been comfortable with introducing my son to anyone else, but told him I'd think about it. Well, Wxh forced that issue with his childish behavior ast night. I was a little late getting back to my house (xh is to drop off) and I sent xh a text (that he claims he didn't get) telling him when I would be home. I was out with NM in his vehicle, so my car was in the drive way. Anyway, Wxh calls me from my driveway and says where are you? I figured out then that he had not got my text. I apologized and said, 'just go on back to your apartment and I will come pick him up with in the hour.' He refused. He sat in the driveway waiting until I drove in with NM.

I tried to make things comfortable...ds came running up to the car to see who I was with. We got out and I introduced ds to NM. (he has talked to him on the phone and knows I've seen him a few times). Wxh comes over with major attitude and attempted to start something with NM. I got ds's clothes as fast as I could and we (NM, ds and myself) went into the house leaving Wxh in the drive way. NM was shocked at the Wxh's attitude because they had spoken on the phone a few nights before and NM was under the impression they were fine with each other and even described the last 15 minutes as 'buddy buddy'. So when Wx came up to NM in the driveway NM put his hand out and although Wxh shook his hand he immediately began trying to start a fight. Seriously. A fight. NM jerks his hand back and steps back and says, 'Not the time nor place.'

I think NM is beginning to understand the total Jekyl and Hyde I"ve been living with.

It worked out ok though as NM stayed a couple of hours and ds talked his ear off and even crawled up on the sofa with NM and me and ds showed NM all his cool apps on his Itouch. They talked movies and stuff...it was so cool. Ds took to him immediately. NM has had a very very interesting life...filled with stunt man work, racing motorcycles professionally and NASCAR. It was very comfortable actually.

Anyway, that was my wild Sunday afternoon. I am a little surprised that wxh is so upset that I"m seeing someone. He told ds in the truck while they where waiting, 'I bet she is with that SOB NM!' Am I horrible if it makes me smile a little to think he is feeling a fraction of what I've felt?

Madness,

�which is to say, he REFUSED TO LEARN ANYTHING. He obviously didn�t empathize with how much pain he put you through, maintain NC, grow as a person, and learn about appropriate boundaries and how to mutually meet ENs. Sad as it is, he basically didn�t value you and your marriage enough to take some hard looks in the mirror and admit to himself that HE had big role to play here too.

Simply put, despite your patience and multiple opportunities, he was never TRULY REPENTANT. True repentance involves more than just confession and contrition. It requires a recognition of personal responsibility (no blameshifting) AND a sincere determination to avoid past destructive behaviors (no �sweeping under the rug�).

Those of us with persistently unrepentant WSs on our hands have no choice but to divorce whether we want to or not. We have to write our xWSs off for what they are � LOST.

So sorry�