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Ease the burden of keeping someone elses dirty secret. Especially since this secret is hurting you and destroying your marriage.
Enjoy the silence and serenity that will occur while your WW is out, well until she calls you on the phone. Then politely say, I am willing to do anything to save our marriage.
Get prepared to hear: You ruined everything, I was going to take care of it, this is the last straw, now we have no choice but divorce, blah blah blah.
"I'm sorry you feel that way. I want to save our M and I can't until your A is over, M is for two people, not three."
Do not engage any further than that. Hang up on her when she rants and rages. She is going to be LIVID. Know this ahead of time so you are not caught off guard.
Stay calm, they all react this way. Don't be shocked at anything she spews. Imagine her as a crack addict who just lost her supply and that will help you remember you are doing the right thing. Okey dokey?
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007
In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
As I stated previously, my WW is currently out of town but I can verify that she is staying with family. Again, should I wait until she returns to expose?
Expose her to the family so they can roast her (or not) while she is there.
It is called all he*ll breaking loose, usually. And exposure is the most effective means of breaking up an affair. Best way is to do it all at once to everyone you can reach in a day's time. Then pick up the stragglers the next day. You don't want her to have to a clue so she can't do a spin job.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
One more question...the reason my wife is out of town is due to a family emergency...do I still expose while she is out of town? I can see from the cell phone logs that she is still constantly texting the OM so I guess the emergency can't be affecting her to much.
M-43 WW-42 T 20 M 16 DD10 DD8 EA: 1/10 Informal separation: 6/11/2010 Headed for D: 7/6/2010 In Recovery: 9/10/10
One more question...the reason my wife is out of town is due to a family emergency...do I still expose while she is out of town? I can see from the cell phone logs that she is still constantly texting the OM so I guess the emergency can't be affecting her to much.
Yes, I would still expose.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
