Just a poll to see if I'm being unreasonable.

1. As a BS (or FBS) would you ever attend the wedding of an affairage?

2. If the answer to #1 is anything but an unequivocal no, would you attend the affairage wedding of a man (or woman) who either slightly enabled your WS's wayward activities or at least was aware of minor instances of them and said nothing to discourage WS?

3. If the answer to #1 is anything but an unequivocal no, would you attend an affairage wedding that took place only three months after the last of numerous d-days stretching over 18 months?


So you know, H has dropped his request for me to either attend with him or at least to let him go alone. The wedding would have required us to travel quite a distance and to stay in the same hotel with the small wedding party for three days.

In my current fragile emotional state I am still sane enough to realize that there's the slightest chance that I might be unreasonable in my stance.

Bea

1. My H wanted to attend the wedding of an affairage, which occurred about a year after the BS died of cancer.

I refused to go.

2. If I knew for sure that one of my H's friends had enabled my H's cheating, I would treat them as if he was dead and would certainly not attend any wedding.

1. No
2. No
3. No

Ditto with Limbo's reply!

God's Blessings,

Say

1. As a BS (or FBS) would you ever attend the wedding of an affairage?

No way in hello.

2. If the answer to #1 is anything but an unequivocal no, would you attend the affairage wedding of a man (or woman) who either slightly enabled your WS's wayward activities or at least was aware of minor instances of them and said nothing to discourage WS?

No way in hello.

3. If the answer to #1 is anything but an unequivocal no, would you attend an affairage wedding that took place only three months after the last of numerous d-days stretching over 18 months?

No way in hello.

On second thought. I'm going with Princess meggy's reply.

God's Blessings,

Say

She had me at the word "affairage". No other explanation necessary.

Me too!!

1. NO

2. HELL NO [just send a package of BACON as a wedding gift ]

3. HELL NO

1. Is this a joke

2. Is this a joke

3. Is this a joke.

I would only attend if one of them was being served on a platter.

I would go if I could bring my potato cannon.

1. NO!!!!
2. NO!!!!
3. NO!!!!


Bea,

I do not think this is the "sane" part of you asking this. I think it is the "insane" part, the one that has been lied to, gaslighted, and snowed for months on end......It's the part of you that is listening to the wailings of their not-so-unfoggy WS.....

Stand for your beliefs....be STRONG AND FIRM...This does not have to include any of those nasty LB'S but done lovingly and firmly....

not2fun

Hi Bea,

I know you asked specifically for BSs and FBSs to answer, but I hope you won't mind a FWS answering as well...IMO, a true FWS's answers won't differ from those of a FBS's answers on this - in fact, I think if they do, it's a serious



Absolutely NOOOOOOOOOO WAY...The thought sickens me more than I can express to you...


Bea, *I* have cut those people out of my life. I KNOW they did not have my best interests at heart at all - Anyone who is not a friend to my marriage and family is NOT a friend of mine period.


No way, no how to any affairage - NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER!


Bea, being moral is NOT being unreasonable. I agree with your stance completely.

Mrs. W

If anyone is interested, they could attend my XWH affairage with PP in Vegas in october.

Please bring rotten eggs, potato cannons, spray paint, and matches (plastic melts).

Triple No for me.

However, if I did go, I'd probably think of something special to say after priest asks if there is anyone present who knows of a reason why the two should not be joined in matrimony (evil grin)...

I have to agree with everyone else

1. NO
2. NO
3. NO

Sorry PM, but you said it so eloquently. NO WAY, NO HOW.

Thanks for all the responses. I agree with the sane/insane comment too!

In H's defense, he knew my problems with the groom and his very minor role in the horror that was H's infidelity.

It had not occurred to him, however, that the fact that it is an affairage would be so profoundly disturbing to me. It is tax season, so I should cut him a little slack.

Bea

I recently attended a comedy show in Ft. Worth. The comedian asked a woman up front a little about herself, and then asked her if the man next to her was her husband. He said he was. The comedian asked how the two met. The woman lowered her head and covered her face. (Now, you KNOW my little body language eye caught this right away, and I told my friend that they were having an affair when they met - and my friend says, NO WAY). The man said, "I was her obstetrician, and I delivered her children. Then I ended up marrying her." Long story short, he and his patient had an AFFAIR - this patient was also a nurse at the hospital where the two of them worked together. Lovely.

It gets better. Later in the show, the comedian chooses a man from the audience and talks a little to him. He asks him if the lady with him is his wife. Same thing - wife covers her face. This couple met as neighbors, both were married to other people, and divorced their spouses to marry one another. Affairage.


So, if they are so freaking PROUD of it, why did the women cover their faces?????

It was an automatic response on both women's parts. Nobody knew anything before their men spoke. Their men didn't have to even reveal anything, and could have skirted the issue, by answering that they met "at work", or "in their neighborhood". But they were compelled internally to reveal the sin, and the women were immediately compelled to cover their faces, KNOWING THIS WAS GOING TO BE JUDGED.


So.


Would I go and give my blessing to an affairage?




Gee. Considering how these "happily married" people act when they are merely asked how they met.............the pain and anguish they must endure within their souls each and every time this very simple question of life arises?


I think they deserve the torture. There is a part of me that says, YEAH, let them get married and then let EVERY PERSON THEY MEET ASK THEM HOW THEY CAME TO BE MARRIED!!!!! I would love to be the fly on the wall to watch them squirm. Talk about justice.


But would I attend the nuptuals? Nope. This ceremony is given so that the people who support the union are there specifically to lend their presence for that blessing.

I don't.


But dang, I sure would love to take them to that comedy show, and make sure they sit in the right seat to get called on.