He sent me a plant and a bear. That was very nice of him.

But all day I kept thinking what if he's hiding something. I wouldn't know unless he told me. Sometimes I feel like I know all I should know and sometimes I just feel like I need to know something else. I don't even know if I really need to know anything else. Like how many times he had sex with her does it really matter, he already gave me a number. I do have the time frame, I know what they did, I know how he felt emotionally, I know he cared about her, I know what they did.

Isn't this enough? shouldn't I be like hey I know enough and I know what I need to do to build a stronger marriage but my self confidence is really really low and I just don't know how to get that back. He tells me he's sorry for all of my pain and how this is all his fault, that he's willing to do what ever it takes, he says what ever I ask him he will answer it honestly as he can because he can't remember everything. He tells me I'm beautiful and he truly loves that he lost his way. He does try and make me feel good and is really working hard on my affections, and other needs.

How much time does a person need to heal?

AM I OKAY?

Of course you are ok. A person needs whatever time it takes them to heal - there is no handbook, owner's manual or crystal ball.

Self confidence is based on our ability to be successful at the things we do. We want to be successful in choosing a spouse that we can place our absolute trust in. It is perfectly normal to lose some(or lot) of self confidence when a spouse betrays your trust - it makes you wonder about your ability to choose a spouse.

Your ability to trust him again is almost totally his responsibility. He'll have to prove by actions, not words, that he is worthy of it. Actions like answering what you ask and not hiding anything. And if he is serious about earning your trust back, he will do it for as long as it takes for you to heal.

If you are willing to continue to give him the chance to earn your trust, your responsibility is to make sure he knows what he has to do to earn it. Don't assume he knows - communicate clearly. And let him know how he is doing.

Hang in there.