You need to find her parents and expose to them pronto. Of course your WH kept you apart. You meeting her would have KILLED the BUZZ.

I could FB expose him, I guess - but with him on the road for the next couple of months, I don't know what that would do for me either. I'm not being wishy washy everyone. This is just all so much on top of everything and angry children and feeling like I just want to die. I'm sure I won't but I really wish I could.

Your children are adults and are entitled to their anger over this sitch. The actions of a wayturd are disgusting and you raised your children with those beliefs. Their expressions of anger and disgust is a testament to YOUR raising them. GOOD JOB.

Now, what was suggested was to expose to HER parents YOURSELF. No Spun story. Please DON'T warn your WH or OW. Don't threaten exposure. It is a TOOL in the MB plans.

Find the OW's family and get your list together of exposure targets and do it ASAP.

EXPOSE to EVERYONE!!

Family
Friends
Co-workers/boss
Her family/friends
Her parents
ETC....

Remember do not trickle the exposure...do it all at once!

this just keeps getting better and better. I was woke up this morning by my daughter who is an B&D nurse. She said she kept wondering why the OWs name and pic seemed so familiar. She said the name outloud and one of her coworkers said - I know a person with that name and so do you - you took care of her when she had her last baby. Why? DD told her that was who her dad was involved with. DD said she went OHHHHH - well, your mom should know that she has herpes. She is my cousin. I called H to thank him for the possible gift and he was very quiet and said OH MY GOD. I didn't know. and hung up.

Ok if I read this right, you said OW is also married?

Why have you not located her spouse and told him? OW's parents, OW's spouse, Company, ect. These are all exposure targets.


You asked why you should not wait. Let me put it this way: If you wait a few weeks before you expose to his job, that is a few weeks he is boinking OW and building an even closer relationship with her. The longer the fog is allowed to continue, the harder the fog is to break through.


May he lose his job, Yes. But that is a consequence of his actions. If the bosses discover the affair on their own, he will lose the pay anyway. ESP if he is the senior person in the truck and they look at sexual harassment liability.

Go ahead and do a nuclear exposure. Spend the next couple of days getting contact info quietly, and then once you have it, expose to everyone all at once. DO NOT let him know it is coming, as this will force the A underground and your H may start trying to undermine you.

Get the contacts and then go for a nuclear exposure.

okay - her husband is in Guatemala with her 2 young sons where she plans on leaving them. He is an illegal alien and she was working to get him papers and then they were going to work together to get their sons up here too, but now she figures that the kids are better off without her since she is so messed up. H won't be "boinking" her for about 2 months because he leaves on a semi with a trainer for a 2 month "brush up" in the morning - over the road. I just got the herpes info from her cousin who doesn't have contact with that part of the family a whole lot, but the parents do know and are okay with it. The job, I will do.

Get the parent's contact info from the cousin. Maybe you can even get grandparent's contact info. Expose this to the family YOURSELF so the right message is sent which is, "You daughter/granddaughter/niece/sister/etc is having an affair with my 53 year old husband. I would like your help in ending their affair by you telling her how what she is doing is not right. I would like to save my marriage but I can not do so until they are finished with their affair. Thank you." You don't have to use those words, just that sentiment.

Kellidiane, I know you are scared and that's okay. But please, please listen and take the advice that you are being given. These are PROVEN methods for saving your marriage-- starting with exposure to everyone. Even if you THINK they already know and approve, when faced with the reality of a real live wife out there (YOU) they may rethink their position (if they even really know).

Please do this step. It is IMPORTANT! Seriously!

You've got the weapon in your hand, use it!!!

Not telling OW's parents would be a BIG missed opportunity. I would also let them know that your H has a history with straying and their daughter is his 5th A. I think this is something that might change their perspective...

I even more firmly believe that your priority right now should be to secure legal assistance in making sure that FAMILY resources and finances are protected.

This woman could be targeting your WH in a scam that siphons money from your family. She could working to get her illegal alien husband and 2 young sons in the United States.

Protect your assets....worry about a marriage with a serial adulterer later (this is his FIFTH affair????)

committed

You are still shell shocked from discovering the latest event.

It is one of the toughest emotional challenges a person can face.

You can continue to love your husband and to work the plan to eventual recovery AND safeguard your financial future and grow stronger.

Please get a copy of Surviving An Affair and start studying it over and over again. A new grain of knowledge will sink in each time. It will help you prepare for the journey you are on. It will give you great direction.

A long time cheater sucks. You don't deserve this grief but you have it anyway and must get through the best you can for your future sanity.

Read the book.
Plan A to your best ability
Plan B until your wayward husband works through his stuff and agrees to being a good husband or plan B knowing you will survive and thrive him never working through his 'stuff'.

You can not fix him but you can work the plan and it gives you the best outcome possible whatever your H does.

I have been gone a few days. I seem to be having trouble making decisions or getting anything done right now. I do manage to get to work almost all the time. I have an appointment with a therapist tonight. I really don't know about that concept. I have trouble talking to people I know about the entire embarrassing, humiliating mess. I also have an appointment in a couple of weeks with my regular doctor to discuss the herpes situation. Other than that - I have done little except hang on. I know I can't get any information regarding the OWs parents because her cousin wants out and not to be involved. Well who does??? Maybe my head will clear up a little soon and not spin quite so much so I can think??????