I don't really think it matters. Yes, a WS who moves in with their AP CAN have reality hit them sooner, or they could be really good at ignoring things. The WS who really LOVES family, could still get a family "fix" by the children the AP has. There are single people who date and live together, and their are those that choose not to live together. Those relationships end all of the time.

Seriously, thinking about the WHY will just drive you crazy. There are so many reasons why and most of the reasoning takes place in a wayturd's head.

I know that this is you trying to understand why your husband isn't coming home. When you get into this kind of thinking, Atena, you really need to get yourself out of it for your own good. Sometimes, when I talk to my RL friends and I tell them about things that happened(like DS10 telling me that he thought WH and OW were fighting last Sunday), my friends say, "Isn't that a good sign Doesn't that mean it's crashing?" I respond with, "I know this sounds callous, but I don't care."

It is entertaining to me to hear about the arguments in the "perfect" world(I KNOW it's not perfect, PEOPLE aren't perfect). It doesn't change anything though. My WH ISN'T coming to me, with hat in hands saying, "I want to come home and work on this marriage." Until that happens, I don't CARE what happens with them. It doesn't make a difference in my marriage. The affair is still going on and I don't care how involved they are. They were already having SF and a "relationship" before WH left, all I did was take MYSELF out of it.

Atena, you are only focusing on the UPSIDE, do you see that? The downside is that the OW lovebusts your H when he won't take the relationship further. Usually, the WS promises that they will move in or marry, etc once the BS is gone. And then when they are free to do so, they don't. That causes conflict in the affair.

Regardless, none of us are psychics and this really is a waste of time - and harmful to you - to sit around speculating about something we have no way of knowing. And you do have a tendency, my good friend, to always imagine the VERY WORST.

The best thing for you to do is to focus on making your life GREAT. Now that you are a month away from completing your masters, are you looking into leaving that job so you don't have to look at your husband every day?

BINGO!! And she does this because she is in a position to be constantly triggered.

I know I am a crybaby and I do have a vivid imagination and usually what happens is that I attract all the bad visions I have and so they end up becoming reality.

I will be in california in august and plan to start looking into private schools. I was also asked to email my CV to a person a good friend of mine knows. He finds positions in education in the states for people who want to relocate there.
I am planting my seeds.
Melody, starting anew in a new place far away would really be the solution and get the h^ll out of this environment.
blessing