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Since the old "rant" thread was... ahem... locked, I guess I have to start a new one because I have a rant and it's a doosey. Rant/  It is very frustrating when a poster is told six ways to Sunday the MB methods for fighting the battle caused by either their own adultery or their WS' adultery to only have them spend six pages explaining why they can't or dancing around questions they are asked. Lately it seems we have a lot of WS coming on board and I guess that's what's trying my patience. First, it is hard (for me) to post to a WS because I have to temper down what I REALLY want to say!  Second, to hear the  and the  , and Third, to have another WS (note: not FWS) come on a thread and try to "support" a fellow WS is sometimes more than I can take. Come to think of it, it's just as irritating when it happens to a BS too-- except in those cases I have some sympathy.  I KNOW this is just a message board, but this subject is dear to my heart and I'm passionate about it. I don't lose sleep over it, but it can't be helping my blood pressure.  Anyway, I've posted this here today to keep myself from doing harm to anyone.  Thanks for listening. /Rant
Last edited by princessmeggy; 07/22/10 01:58 PM.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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ranting, ranting, ranting...
about the use of excuses excuses excuses...
Ok I did this BUT BUT BUT...
Ok I am done now...can I have a cookie?
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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They get all the advice in the world, and don't want to follow it, and instead cry about how unfair and MEAN you people are!!!!eleventy111!!
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Since the old "rant" thread was... ahem... locked, I guess I have to start a new one because I have a rant and it's a doosey. Rant/ It is very frustrating when a poster is told six ways to Sunday the MB methods for fighting the battle caused by either their own adultery or their WS' adultery to only have them spend six pages explaining why they can't or dancing around questions they are asked. Lately it seems we have a lot of WS coming on board and I guess that's what's trying my patience. First, it is hard (for me) to post to a WS because I have to temper down what I REALLY want to say! Second, to hear the and the , and Third, to have another WS (note: not FWS) come on a thread and try to "support" a fellow WS is sometimes more than I can take. Come to think of it, it's just as irritating when it happens to a BS too-- except in those cases I have some sympathy. I KNOW this is just a message board, but this subject is dear to my heart and I'm passionate about it. I don't lose sleep over it, but it can't be helping my blood pressure. Anyway, I've posted this here today to keep myself from doing harm to anyone. Thanks for listening. /Rant It all makes me so thankful for you vets. I know it is very important for me to read and learn and post and help when I can but it triggers the heck out of me to read some of this. The cross support really bothers me. I know GM felt that way himself, what about his feelings? LOL. I guess I just wanted to thank you for the chance to say this out loud because it can be so hard but still important if you really want to understand how this all works. It seems to have hit all at once. Maybe that is usual and I have stayed away from it before. You all are so smart and your dedication to helping others is so outstanding. To see someone bash you all for the time and care you put into this just makes me cringe. From my perspective, I would never have made it through all of this without you all and GM would never have understood any of it. I owe you all but boy is it hard to go through this learning curve without losing your mind!  
BW-me-56
FWH-GreenMile-62
Married 1982
2 wonderful grown sons
D Day #1 4/1985
D Day #2 10/03/08
D Days continued for a while.
Started real recovery 07/15/10
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Am I permitted to respond to this since I am the WS trying to support WS? Okay, I'm going to respond..................................... I'd rather be on someone else's thread "trying to help" rather than dealing with my own thread (which gives me a headache). But it looks like I'm not "helping". Vets, I apologize to you all for giving you so much "work" in the last couple of days. I thought I had valid points. But being forced back onto my own thread  ...I do see vividly that I have plenty of work to do there.
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Its nice to vent here, but cmon' when BS and WS come on here and just whine not listening to any advice, not answering questions, or are scared off because they disagree with the MB principles. I know immidiatley that their marriage is over.
I know from experience what these people go through, every one here has experience and its what makes us the unwanted club. If you can't listen to the experienced people who have fought hard for their marriage, and did their best to recover in their own way; maybe you deserve to have a rough divorce and all the pain that goes with it.
So many people that come here half do it then leave. Just do it and stick to it, we know what we are talking about because we live it.
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Ahhhh I been missing the Rants thread. Thank you for starting it again. As an observation... I've noticed a LOT more new people posting recently than in the past. Particularly Waywards. I think Pep's lurker's post is working. This is a good thing - more people getting help. The bad is the FOG coefficient starts to go way up - leading to frustration and a general sense of  . As such - a rants thread is eminently necessary to clear the senses and restore sanity. Rant away good people! ....*sneaks off to bump the lurkers thread*
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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Its nice to vent here, but cmon' when BS and WS come on here and just whine not listening to any advice, not answering questions, or are scared off because they disagree with the MB principles. I know immidiatley that their marriage is over.
I know from experience what these people go through, every one here has experience and its what makes us the unwanted club. If you can't listen to the experienced people who have fought hard for their marriage, and did their best to recover in their own way; maybe you deserve to have a rough divorce and all the pain that goes with it.
So many people that come here half do it then leave. Just do it and stick to it, we know what we are talking about because we live it. I remember as a newcomer getting hit by 2x4s. I was terrified of catwoman who I know now was right. I whined, I had excuses but I did come around. Not perfect but I am learning so much here still even though to date my M was never restored. This site is for me and it helps to come here and it has made me a better person. Ok so it wasn't a true rant.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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....*sneaks off to bump the lurkers thread* 
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....*sneaks off to bump the lurkers thread*
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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I haven't posted in a while..just been hiding in the shadows, but reading A LOT. Read Mark's thread on memories..went back and reread my own thread..read every bit of a couple of other threads started by waywards. They are frustrating, but I have also found them to be helpful in understanding the insanity of a wayward mind. Has helped me understand a few more things about my WH (hopefully FWH..he's reading SAA!!)
Just wanted to say I hear ya...I agree with ya...but just like the A's that we try to survive and recover from, sometimes there's some good stuff hidden amongst all the bad stuff.
Thank you, vets, for continuing to try to help us newbies..even when some of us don't seem to want it.
BS(me)43
WS(him)35
Married 7 yrs (together 10)
No children together; 20yo & 15yo ds (mine), 14yo dd (his)
D day: 05/11/10
NC not established
Status: headed for D and takin' care of me
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I love my job... I LOVE my job...I love MY job...
I love my JOB...![[Linked Image from bestsmileys.com]](http://bestsmileys.com/falling/4.gif) ![[Linked Image from bestsmileys.com]](http://bestsmileys.com/clueless/7.gif) Well, that didn't work...
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I'd rather be on someone else's thread "trying to help" rather than dealing with my own thread (which gives me a headache). But it looks like I'm not "helping". This is true. The blind cannot lead the blind.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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See, when i arrived here 9 years ago, the 2x4s went exclusively to the BETRAYED SPOUSES - the wayward fogbabblers had the run of the joint. The lunatics were running the asylum. My oh my how things have changed.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Redzgirl, I was actually just thinking about you the other day! Can you update your thread?
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Redzgirl, I was actually just thinking about you the other day! Can you update your thread? Will do... 
BS(me)43
WS(him)35
Married 7 yrs (together 10)
No children together; 20yo & 15yo ds (mine), 14yo dd (his)
D day: 05/11/10
NC not established
Status: headed for D and takin' care of me
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See, when i arrived here 9 years ago, the 2x4s went exclusively to the BETRAYED SPOUSES - the wayward fogbabblers had the run of the joint. The lunatics were running the asylum. My oh my how things have changed. This is such a scary thought ML. WOW I am glad that another rantz thread was started. 
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Its nice to vent here, but cmon' when BS and WS come on here and just whine not listening to any advice, not answering questions, or are scared off because they disagree with the MB principles. I know immidiatley that their marriage is over.
I know from experience what these people go through, every one here has experience and its what makes us the unwanted club. If you can't listen to the experienced people who have fought hard for their marriage, and did their best to recover in their own way; maybe you deserve to have a rough divorce and all the pain that goes with it.
So many people that come here half do it then leave. Just do it and stick to it, we know what we are talking about because we live it. I remember as a newcomer getting hit by 2x4s. I was terrified of catwoman who I know now was right. I whined, I had excuses but I did come around. Not perfect but I am learning so much here still even though to date my M was never restored. This site is for me and it helps to come here and it has made me a better person. Ok so it wasn't a true rant. My main concern are for people like YEG and tlcanuck (recently), and others. They had good opportunities to R their marriages, but I guess just wanted to come here, cry on some shoulders and leave. Current WS are just a given, they are foggy, and things just seem to get lost.
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Are there many recent WS that have got the jist quite quickly and have stuck around?
I wish there was a way of producing statistics about posters helped and reformed, posters that ran away and how long it took to get the message. Percentage of harsh 2x4 and percentage of gentle and intelligently put 2x4 and which works with which posters...
STs analytical mind temporarily in overdrive.
I know for me it was the very simple "do this", backed up with the intelligently put 2x4 and explanation of what was going oninmy head that had the biggest affect on Wayward me.
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Are there many recent WS that have got the jist quite quickly and have stuck around? A bigger concern to me would be the BETRAYED SPOUSES. They are the victims. A WS who is "run off" by a much needed 2x4 wasn't serious anyway so who cares? I sure don't. If they get a 2x4 it was because they were foggy. If they were serious about recovering their marriage and making amends to their victims, wild horses couldn't run them off.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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