Worry about the fallout from recovery AFTER your WH decdes to come home. Right now, you need to do everything within your power to follow the MB plans.

BTW, the people are looking at him the way they are because of HIS actions. It is NOT because of your exposure. He was already doing these nasty things. He is mad because you made everyone aware of it. He is not having any fun getting "high" in front of the whole world.

My daughter who is 17 will not do the exchange because she will not be nice but my friend would do it for me.

Worry about the fallout later, that has been on my mind alot! What will these people think of me? Will they think I am weak and stupid?

My children will not do the exchange but my friend would and she would pass on any information between us.

If you decide to take him back he will have to apologize to them and assure them he has your best interests at heart. He would have to prove himself.

I hope your right, I just sent him a text to ask if we were still on for 8, he is always late for drop off and pick ups. Wish me luck!

I will let you know how it goes when I get home, it is about an hour or so drive!

Thank you again for all your support, as I said earlier, I so needed it! I wish there was a book on how to mend your heart!

He doesn't take your baby around that vile ho, does he? How old is the baby?

Yes he does, she has kids and today my baby said I have to pack a sucker for Dalton which is her son. The baby will be 3 tomorrow.

She also said that daddy can not come home because he has a new friend. makes me nuts!

I did not tell him she said that and I was debating about it...what do you think?

ok, I would not put up with this, CC. Your child should not be exposed to his filthy affair. The OW is an unfit adult. What many of the folks here have done about this is to file for divorce or legal separation and get it specified in the papers that there be no contact with the WS's adultery partner.

hon, you need to start putting your foot down. You don't have to hand your DD over under these circumstances without a legal court order.

Do you have an attorney?

I agree completely, I do not want my baby anywhere near the OW. If I file for divorce isn't that defeating the purpose?

Since I am now moving into Plan B completely, do i continue with gathering data? I still have his password and just today I received his July phone bill. This is how I got the information before.

Not sure if this is helping me at this point.

So I polished up my Plan B letter today. I did talk with my friend and she said she would do the exchanges for me if necessary. I was wondering what your thoughts would be if I just allowed him to come to the house and get her, when he arrives, just put her on the porch?

All of his stuff is still in the house but his cloths, do I start packing his stuff?

Post your plan B letter to make sure you have everything covered, there are people on here who can help you with that.

Here is my Plan B letter. Also have to add, I am having a party for our daughter with his family tomorrow at 2, I did not invite him, I received a message from him this morning asking if I wanted him to get a cake or do something for Saturday. Since I did not invite him I am wondering if this is his way of saying I know your having a party and did not invite me or is he planning on comming??????


My Dear Rob,
I apologize to you for my part in creating an environment that helped make your affair with Terri possible. I foolishly neglected my responsibility to meet your most important emotional needs. I was not there for you when you needed me most, and we are now both suffering for my mistake.

I am willing to avoid the mistakes I've made in the past and create a new life for both of us that meet your needs. But I cannot do that until you end your relationship with Terri once and for all.

Until then, I will avoid seeing you or talking to you. Our friend Cathy has agreed to help make arrangements for you to visit Sylvia whenever you would like. But I will not be here when you visit. If you want to communicate about Sylvia or any other matter, it will have to be through Cathy.

I ask you to respect my decision to separate from you this way. You must know about the suffering I have endured because of your relationship with Terri, and I simply cannot be with you any longer, knowing that you are with her. I still love you but I cannot see you under these conditions.

As soon as you are willing to permanently separate from Terri, I will be willing to discuss our future together.

I want us to be able to rebuild our marriage someday. I want us to be able to meet each other's emotional needs and to avoid doing anything to hurt each other. We need to build a new lifestyle in which everything we do makes us both happy. Then there will never again be a reason for us to separate. I want to be your best friend, someone who is always there for you when you need me. And I want you as my best friend.

I loved you when we married and I continue to love you right up to this day. I just cannot be with you or help you as long as you are seeing Terri.

With my love,
Pam

CC, I would take out the part that says "I will not be here" because you don't want him in the house at all. In fact, the locks on your doors should be changed so he doesn't come in. Having a WS come in the house during Plan B is a disaster.

Otherwise, that looks great!

What do you think about him attending the birthday party for our daughter tomorrow? I did not even invite him. I also have not sent the letter yet.....

Plan B was working for me until today, I have had no contact with him and the last few days I have not cried myself to sleep! i even joined a fall softball league!

If I understand this right, and you have NOT given your WH the plan B letter yet, you should (if you are forced to) make the party the FINAL and LAST moments of your P.A.

At the very end of the afternoon (and I would have "another activity/engagement for DD - Matinee perhaps?) I would, in person hand your WH the letter and tell him goodby.

Leave him with the memory of a happy family, let him think about you as strong but independant.
(no hang dawg looks, no gossip, look your best and pour positive energy to your DD.)

If you absolutely can not do this, you are going to have to not see him, and call for a PB. DO NOT make a Jerry Springer moment out of this.
That would be terrible for your DD

Did you already give him the letter? I didn't know oyu were in plan B.

I've been reading along with this thread, I don't have anything to add, you've been given good guidance, but I wanted to say I'm wishing you the best at your daughter's party. Stay strong...and yes, indifferent is a good word to be.

The party was a success...his whole family was there, he showed up and even grabbed my behind, he was polite and so were we. He made me very nervouse though, it was like he was casing out the place...walking around from room to room taking notes.

Our DD asked to go home with him, he said no he would see her on Sunday, he was to pick her up at 5 yesterday, I received a message at 5 10 pm that he was at the doctor.

He called me several times after that, I told him it was to late to get her now, he was two hours late.

Received a few text messages saying he was sorry, wanted us to work but we werent meant to be togher both of us werre not happy, u looked at me with disgust daily.

The next one said sorry for the wasted years i spent on the couch pissing u off and letting myself dia a little every day!

I did not respond to any of them!