noooooooooooo, don't turn off the internet. Steve, we need some solid evidence of this affair and then I will help you do a very strategic nuclear exposure that will hopefully annhilate the affair in one day. No guarantees, of course, but that is my hope.

And we cant do that if you have no evidence because your wife will be able to dismiss your claims.

When she comes out of her addiction, you can tell her about us. But it is ok to post from home as long as you be sure and sign out when you leave.

And erase your history.

noooooooooooo, don't turn off the internet. Steve, we need some solid evidence of this affair and then I will help you do a very strategic nuclear exposure that will hopefully annhilate the affair in one day. No guarantees, of course, but that is my hope.

And we cant do that if you have no evidence because your wife will be able to dismiss your claims.

[/quote]

Mel, just so I am clear... what solid evidence am I looking for... just the fact that she is talking to him behind my back is enough for me. What exactly are we looking for?

I recorded any dirty text between them, scheduling time together, messages or letters that say I love you, pictures, and phone bills showing rate of texting (almost 250 texts a day). Most of this came from FB Messages, chats, and email. VAR, credit card purcheses for flowers and gifts, and a keylogger are great way to get info. I had days on top of days worth of stuff, mainly because sapph did not even try to hide it. Still I probably only had about 1% of the stuff they said.

Steve, we need the proof that this is an affair. I strongly believe her desire to divorce is based entirely on an affair. She wants to leave in order to pursue her affair with this guy.

When you have that, it will be much easier to nuke the affair through exposure and remove any deniability.

HOWEVER, if you don't get the goods by this weekend, I think you should expose anyway.

Mel, the guy lives in Arkansas. She isn't going to leave to go see him anytime soon, let alone by this weekend. They continue to communicate via e-mail, but it's mostly just talking about daily activities... which is what she should be sharing with me and not him!!!

I am hoping they say something about their intentions or what they have done. Something that difinitively shows they are having an affair.

See, I think something happened when they met and some plans were laid. She is telling this guy she is getting divorced and she needs him to believe that to keep him on the line. I want to know what they did and what they have planned.

How's this...

OM: XXXX brought up some things the other day that I thought were pretty funny.

WW: yeah, like what?

OM: That he'd never call me uncle. That any conversations we had about sex from now on would be onesided and if I was prepared to go a year without it lol

WW: lol I have to agree with him there. so are you prepared?

OM: Lol sadly I've done it before. And that time it wasn't by choice. I'll be fine

WW: good to know.



That's as close as I've seen to intentions thusfar... but they are talking about waiting for a year to have sex.

Odds are high that something happened at this wedding between her and this guy. Their connection is stronger than one based on just flirting. It may have been a kiss, or maybe more, but something happened to where these two have crossed the line to flirt with each other the way they are doing. I�d be surprised if that wasn�t the case. People don�t take steps to destroy their marriages for someone they just find cute and flirt with. This is deeper and likely more happened.

AGREE. And if he has proof of this, it will make his exposure all the more effective.

Watching and waiting, but it could be awhile before they reveal anything like that through e-mail... and maybe they never will.

Her family already knows and is supporting her. They will not tell me if anything happened while she was there with this OM.

Why and how is her family supporting her? She must have twisted the story to make herself out a victim. What gives?

I exposed to her family the fact that she was talking to and is interested in another man via Facebook. I let them know what she was doing, and how she was destroying our family and our marriage. I asked them for their advice and assistance to get her focused on saving our marriage and away from the OM.

Her family contacted her and said they were sorry that I was putting her through this, and that stuff like that was best kept between the two of us. All of her brothers and sisters have been previously divorced and remarried, and happy in their follow on marriage. Only person in her family that hasn't been divorced yet is her mother. I have not exposed to her yet though.

Still trying to find if OM is married, sounds like he is and is separated but not divorced. Would not surprise me if he is still married and separated that his wife doesn't care. I need to spend some time looking for a PI. Any suggestions?

Someone mentioned Spokeo.com in a previous post. They got more info from that locator site than any other. Don't recall if it was on this thread or not. You might want to check it out?

Yes, I checked it out... he wasn't on there at all. He may have had himself blocked previously.

Sounds like he's done this before!! And he has experience from other woman husbands trying to find him, HAHAHAHA!

How are you holding up during all of this? I think you�re doing well and keeping your head together. Let her mother know ASAP.

I am holding up ok, but my mind is seriously distracted from anything other than this. I want so much just to fix it right now and make it better. With all the info I have been learning in the last couple of weeks through MB and HNHN, I just want to start putting everything into action now now now. But this didn't happen overnight and it won't be fixed overnight.

I am doing my best to keep my head together, but continuing to read e-mail conversations back and forth between them via keylogger is depressing, as well as the fact I know I can't react to those e-mails.

We have some friends coming in town tomorrow that are on my side of this, and they are going to talk to her. Another friend of hers is going to call her on Saturday to talk to her. All of these folks are on my side and they told me they are going to tell her that she needs to wake up and realize what she is doing to her family and that she is making the biggest mistake of her life. I am hoping that will help. And I will continue to recruit anyone and everyone that will support me and have them convince her that she just needs to stop this.

Once I can get her out of the fog, I can get her into MB and we can begin to restore our marriage.

I just feel helpless in this situation right now. Things are moving way too slow, and I am a fast paced guy. I am keeping it under control though, as I do not want to rush anything that I know will take time.

So hopefully her friends will help make her see and pull her towards the light.

I know I need to let her mother know, but with the way she reacted to the exposure to the rest of her family, she told me that I did nothing but make myself look like and [censored], and that it was conducive to trying to work things out. I know that these are words of anger from her and her fogginess, but man do they hurt. I don't know if she has said anything to her mother, or if any of her family has yet either. I'll see how this weekend goes with her friends.