TR and Pops,

I guess OM and WW will both have to go to jail. They share equal guilt...when you go for a civil judgement WW is going to have pay her half.

Except WW has raised the child and did the work and OM gets to have his child/DNA raised at no cost to himself. Ignoring the affront to my honor for the moment.

You don't want a DNA test to put paternity to the end. You want the DNA test so you can get revenge.

Both are byproducts of finding the truth.

honestly I don't even support the dna test....." see nothing to gain from it at this point.....the lives of at least 3 people will be turned upside down with insecurity, trust and countless personal relationship issues. is that worth it?

And what is to be gained from further secrecy, if the DNA test confirms my paternity then I would suppose that from your perspective it has put the issue mostly to bed?

Gamma does or has your son raised any questions about his paternity?

Never explicitly, once he did say something which made me think he saw how OTHER I was to him.

God Bless
Gamma

""""""""And what is to be gained from further secrecy, if the DNA test confirms my paternity then I would suppose that from your perspective it has put the issue mostly to bed?""""""""

If the dna proved you the father then I would say yes it should put things to bed unless I missed something (which is a good possibility)

If it proved om the father then you have some really tough choices to make. I just hope you give them a lot of thought before reacting.

should the om be deemed the bio I don't know if a court would rule in your favor after 20 years. unless you could prove you were kept completely in the dark the whole time.

I would think that you would also have to prove that your w had no idea of the bio father also. or that she was part of the fraud.

I have no idea of what you are refering to with "one way or another". not exactly sure I know what "another" would be if the courts didn't find in your favor

I say go get the DNA test done. Time to stop the talk time to do the work.

This is what will happen. The OM will be the dad.

No Judge will rule in your favor.

I get to say: I told you so.

Unfortunately affairs can not be undone. This is why there can never be just compensation.

A spouse can not get un-laid by the OP. Can not un-spend the time, energy, money, and joint family resources used on the OP that should have been used on their BS.

If your child is an OC and is the only child and your WW is past having anymore kids, how do you get compensated for never getting to have your own biological kid/s.

All your WW can do now is all the things needed to get past what happened and be a good wife now.

If WW is doing everything there is and it�s not enough then you will never be able to be happy with WW and should D her. Because there is nothing more that she can do.

You must treat your OC as if she was your bio child, BC. Do not damage her. Break the OC cycle in your family. You just can�t drop her cold turkey by saying the OM knocked up your mom so he�s your dad and close the door on her.

Follow up,
For some reason BS's come here looking for support to D their WS stating justication and get approval for their actions.

A little clue for those misguided BS's:

YOU DON'T NEED APPROVAL FOR A D WHEN YOUR WS WAS BANGING THE OP.

Gamma is full of rage and has no way of working through it.

writer1,
I am sorry:) I meant notquitedone.

TR,

You just can�t drop her cold turkey by saying the OM knocked up your mom so he�s your dad and close the door on her.

Actually "he�s your dad or not and I'm now whatever it is you wish to view me as", and close open the door on his heritage.

I don't think we have enough data to yet say if DNA is destiny or not, but it must count for something.

I'm a patient person btw, first things first.

God Bless
Gamma

I am an OC. I didn't know this until I met my birthparents at the age of 30. The man who contributed DNA to my existence is a nice man in some ways I guess. The woman who carried me is a very nice woman.

But I have one dad - he held me, raised me, took care of me, loves me, cheered at my games, clapped at my concerts, and is grandfather to my children.

I have one mother - the woman who rocked me through hours of colic, quit an ambitious job to be with me 24/7 as a small child, taught me how to play piano, put on makeup, and set a table like a real southern belle.

When I met Bdad and Bmom, I did not tell my parents t move over and share their status. It isn't Bmom I call when I want to just chat. I see Bmom from time to time and we email. Bdad lost interest when he realized he wasn't going to convert me to 7th day adventist.

I cannot imagine how tough it would be to reconcile myself to the idea of my spouse having a child with someone else. I cannot imagine what it would be like to wonder....am I? The people on these boards who have been dealt this blow and handle it with such grace are inspiring.

I gotta say though, I am so glad that I am outright adopted, because the idea that a man who I knew as "daddy" would reject me or scrawl a huge label on my forehead years after the fact.......

I just don't know. Maybe, just maybe, God knew what he was talking about when he said do not commit adultery all those years ago. It can cause so very much pain.

Very well said Lurioosi2!!

Fled