I've been moving fairly well along the healing path but keep getting sidetracked by the thought that the OW gets to keep on living her life without so much as a bump in the road.<P>My question is this: I know the CEO (he's on the Board of the company I work for)of the huge company that H USED TO work for and the OW still works for (along with HER H). Now that my H is gone I have been toying with the idea of speaking to the CEO and telling him the circumstances of my H's departure and asking him to speak with OW. I imagine his conversation could be pretty businesslike covering improper use of company assets (e-mails), improper utilization of time in office, providing false reasons for being out of office, and how this has also culminated in the loss of a company asset - a valued employee and how he wants her to know that her current office behaviors will be monitored. I imagine just getting a call from him would scare her s***less since it is not likely he talks with even her boss's boss's boss.<BR> <P>The question is - before I bare my problem to the CEO, is this something he could realistically do without jeopardizing EEOC claims and the like (my H, although higher on the corporate ladder was NOT her boss).<P>Thanks for the input - and yes I know, "I need to quit wasting my energy thinking about her"....

Athena:<P>I don't know any employement laws per se, but from personal experience, I threatened my H with doing this very thing. Exposing his adulterous ways with his fellow co-worker to his boss, and his boss's boss. And quite frankly I did this in the fit of rage, when I didn't care what the outcome would be. So, I did the next best thing, I called the OW herself, but the entire thing backfired on me. My H left and went to stay with his sister. Although both he and the OW have repeatedly told me that their affair was over, I refused to believe it. And look where it got me.....<P>My advise - leave well enough alone. Really. It served no purpose and I'm worse off now than I was when he was living at home going through withdrawal.

Athena:<P>I <I>am</I> an employment lawyer, and I can tell you, that as a practical matter, this course of action will bring nothing but headaches. You might even find that the CEO is unwilling to talk to her because of conceivable problems.<P>Just talking to an employee about improper behavior at work probably isn't a problem, but if she feels threatened by him, she might have a cause of action for discrimination if males in similar situations weren't reprimanded this way. It would be a stretch, and the facts would have to be right, but any businessperson with any sense wouldn't get NEAR a personal dispute like this.<P>The fact of the matter is that OW is probably not "going on with her life without so much as a speed bump in the road." I imagine her conscience is playing some mean (and well-deserved) tricks on her.<P>My advice is to let sleeping dogs lie and just bad mouth her in private as much as you want. There's no use in making this any more public than it has to be.<P>Legally speaking, I can't think of a way having a discussion with her could hurt the CEO, but I wouldn't advise chancing it. You never know what she's got up her sleeve, and if she wanted to make a discrimination case, he might unwittingly be handing her the key to winning it.<P>Don't get him involved, especially if he's a friend. It will only come back to bite you (and him) in the end.<P>Just my two cents.<P>Disclaimer: This post is not intended to be legal advice of any sort, and should not be relied upon for legal advice. Nothing herein creates an attorney-client relationship between me and anyone else on this forum. It's just one man's opinion.<P>Have a nice day! <P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>

Athena - I agree with everything Lone Star said - and with the same disclaimer incorporated herein. Also keep in mind that should the ow conceivable have some cause of action for employment discrimination as a result of the reprimand or discussion you seek, your H could be dragged in for interviews, depositions etc. You could then have to relive this over and over, perhaps for years. Be thankful your h was willing and able to take action to get the ow out of your lives. My h wasn't.<BR> Simone

Thanks everybody. <P>Tired Lady - There's nothing like someone's firsthand experience to shed light on where things could go. That's one of the great things about this forum !<P>LoneStar - I appreciate your comments (and I if I was looking for client/attorney privilege I've got about 50 close friends to call on - although none of them know what's going on). Another great thing about this forum - there's usually someone out here with some expertise to share. <P>Simone - Thanks for echoing LoneStar's comments. Yes I am VERY thankful that my H is now out of that office but the last 4 months have been awful.<P>Thanks again - I guess I knew what I SHOULD do - leave it alone - but I constantly battle with what I WANT to do. Sooooo, I what do you think about my occassionally being around the building (in my very noticeable BMW M roadster) when she and her H leave at the end of the day? I've done it a few times and I do get some enjoyment knowing she is probably wondering what I am up to and if today is the day I tell her H.<BR>

Thanks everybody. <P>Tired Lady - There's nothing like someone's firsthand experience to shed light on where things could go. That's one of the great things about this forum !<P>LoneStar - I appreciate your comments (and I if I was looking for client/attorney privilege I've got about 50 close friends to call on - although none of them know what's going on). Another great thing about this forum - there's usually someone out here with some expertise to share. <P>Simone - Thanks for echoing LoneStar's comments. Yes I am VERY thankful that my H is now out of that office but the last 4 months have been awful.<P>Thanks again - I guess I knew what I SHOULD do - leave it alone - but I constantly battle with what I WANT to do. Sooooo, what do you think about my being around the building (in my very noticeable BMW M roadster) say once a week, when she and her H leave at the end of the day? I've done it a few times and I do get some enjoyment knowing she is probably wondering what I am up to and if today is the day I tell her H.<BR>